Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

[ProlongedAffair]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5294980-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads?reply=144269354

I can’t write on the previous thread anymore, so I’ve created this one for people interested in the outcome of the CMS case. I’m committed to telling people what the outcome is regardless of whether it goes my way or not.

My take on this is that you made a poor decision in the first instance that has massively escalated. Your ex now very much has the upper hand but is decent enough to offer you a lifeline whereby you might be able to retrieve the situation to some extent. You should definitely take it. Court is very unlikely to go in your favour. You’ve taken all the flack on MN and been honest about the outcome, a bit of humble pie with your ex shouldn’t be too hard.

“CMS has repeatedly told me I am primary carer too, it’s not just me being indignant as someone else said.“

They also told our sons birth mother that, a woman who hasn’t seen him since he was 18 months, a woman who isn’t legally his parent and a woman who spent time inside due to crimes she chose to commit against him. CMS blindly follow whatever an adult tells them, their decision isn’t based on actual fact or legislation.

What was the outcome? Did you get a refund?

It’s my understanding that joint 50/50 means no CMS liability from either and child benefit to be split . It would be interesting as to how they ascertain the Primary Carer. It doesn’t matter if your ex earns more unfortunately. Couldn’t you go for spousal maintenance?

They said because I claimed the child benefit and because the children are registered with my GP, Dentist and I do more paperwork I am the resident parent and entitled to CMS. They seem to have now backtracked on that.

Claiming the child benefit is the only thing they needed to award you maintenance.

They expect people to be honest about their situation and you weren't.

They haven't backtracked - they've rectified now they are fully aware of the actual situation.

One saying comes to mind - play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Sounds like you got greedy and it backfired. Genuinely curious as to why you went down that road. If he now in a serious relationship with someone else? Did something else happen?

It baffles me that you decided to do something so stupid just because you’re still bitter about being the primary parent a few years ago.

Does he actually have them 50/50?

Is your dignity worth this OP?

Unless he’s a millionaire and they recently divorced, no she can’t go for “spousal maintenance”. It’s not the 1950s.

If she wants more money she gets better employment.

@ProlongedAffair are you now planning to come to an agreement with him and drop the CMS case?

Your ex, despite everything you've done to get you here, seems like he still wants to resolve this and be amicable.

The ball is fully in your court now.
You can try to salvage something or you can press on ahead and end up in court and very likely a worse financial position when court rule that no CMS is due and that you need to repay what you have been paid.

All of this could have been avoided if you had listened to the hundreds of people telling you the same thing over and over that just because you held a belief that you did more by having them registered at your GP and filling in a few extra forms doesn't make it so.

I'm still really astonished that you sacrificed what was a good arrangement and a good co-parenting relationship for some extra money, did you not think of the impact of your children in doing this?

OP said in previous threads that when she calculated it out not only did it work out her ex had actually more days/overnights than her slightly he paid more of their day to day costs i.e mobile phone bills, private medical insurance etc

@NWL yours is a much more polite version than mine

FAFO!

He has them more than 50/50, and was paying the OP several hundred pounds a month in maintenance as well.

The OP wanted a bigger cut of his payrise

@ProlongedAffair

have you taken him up on his generous offer to sort things amicably between you?

I’m not sure yet, I’m trying to think things over without reacting immediately.

Will they allow him to claim maintenance off me?

I’m not sure yet, I’m trying to think things over without reacting immediately.

You should be biting his hand off for the offer of doing things amicably

Will they allow him to claim maintenance off me?

Yes. He'll be able to claim maintenance for the child he has Child Benefit for

It's baffling that, for the sake of your children, you appear to have no interest in resolving this amicably.

I wouldn't think it over too long, you don’t want him to retract his offer.

You should be trying to do damage limitation at this point.

Yes, he will be able to put in for a claim of maintenance against you for the one he has CB for and CMS will award him it as they have done for you.

Can I ask, has what's been going on between you and you ex, impacted the DC at all? Presumably as they aren't young DC they've picked up that there is now an issue between you and their dad?

Wow. You really haven't learned anything. You were wrong, you were told you were wrong, you've been proven wrong, and you're still refusing to give it up. FGS, tell him you're extremely sorry and had a bout of insanity and be ready to take whatever offer he makes you to sort this out amicably or you're going to end up in a huge mess.

He actually has them slightly more than she does.

Seems you have made a big mistake, and now the CMS system and HMRC are involved, whereas before you could have just continued to get on nicely enough and probably left things as they were.

If you have 50-50, there really is no primary carer.

Because the system can't easily tell whether you actually are 50-50, they use who receives child benefit as a simple way to tell who is doing more of the parenting than the other. But it's really a secondary way of measuring things - a quick and dirty substitute for the actual truth because that's harder to figure out.

HMRC will quite commonly award a child benefit to each parent when there are 2 children, so now he and you are basically completely equal in terms of what CMS looks for. So neither of your will get CMS from the other.

What part do you think is unfair? He earns more money, and presumably spends more during his 50%. You have the option of going and earning more money too.

The CMS calculator is very misleading as are the CMS themselves as they tell you there is an amount due even with 50/50.

But you told CMS you’re the primary parent? If so, then you told them it’s not 50/50.

But you were sent the link to and screenshots of the page which clearly states on the CMS there is no payments to be made in 50/50. Why did you not listen?

Because when I actually spoke to them, they deemed me the primary carer.

But we told you that wasn't correct.

You do know that when you call CMS, you generally get through to an overworked, underpaid call handler with very little training? They regularly don't know their own rules. You were told that as well.