Worried I’m about to move in with a cocklodger

[Holly9]

DP and I are currently house hunting. We’ve had a few conversations around chores etc and some of the stuff he came out with last night has really worried me. For example with his ex he said she done the bulk of the chores but on occasion he’d do a couple hours of solid housework and he’d get ‘rewarded’ at the end 😷I asked if he was joking and he said he was being serious…

Is it wrong or me to reconsider…

Red flags are waving there 🚩🚩🚩

Oh ffs. Do you need telling??

Your instincts are there for a reason

Do you want a man baby?

Definitely have this conversation again, seriously and with intense attention to detail. Maybe a spreadsheet.....

Eww why would he even tell you that

I've just brought up a bit of sick...

Have this conversation with a grown up bloke and see how different it is. Surely you’re living with him already so you must know what he’s like?

DONT LIVE WITH A MAN CHILD

Let him stay with you if he can for a month as low you’d be living together first
mine did this said he’d do x cook etc he does barely 0 12 Years of a man child

No we aren’t, he stays at mine a couple times a week usually.

My guess is to see if I would accept the same

I'm not sure if this indicates a cocklodger, which is a man who moves into a woman's place and then doesn't contribute enough either financially or to housework.

It does however indicate he's a sexist arsehole who expects you to do all the work in the home and give him sex as payment for normal adulting.

The time to have these discussions is BEFORE house hunting begins.

So either get your pinny on and the marigolds out, or change your mind.

What do you think OP? An independent life, or the life of a drudge for an entitled man who will reward you for doing the dishes with a roll in the hay?

Come on.. As if you need to ask us!

Is this to BUY a property with Manbaby or merely to rent, @Holly9 ?

He's not necessarily a cocklodger, that's a man who wants a woman to keep him financially, what you have there is a man who thinks housework is women's work, why else would he think if he does some cleaning he'll get sex in return?

Buy

Are ye looking to rent or buy?
I would be setting up a chores schedule and get him to sign it before ye do anything, no way would I be doing it all, he probably wants you to cook and clean for him aswell?!?

Where is he currently living and with whom, does he do housework there?

Think what you have there is your common or garden Sexist Pig rather than the slightly more exotic (but still gross) Cocklodger

Well hes telling you what he expects so its either a yes or no from you!

does he live alone atm? How clean is his house? How often does he clean it? Im thinking back to the thread a week or so ago where there were shit stains in the loo and op was expected to clean those up when her Bf moved in

I think I would be having a very Frank conversation about what you expect from a life partner which includes division of household chores and stop all house hunting until you have!

Otherwise this will be the tip of the iceberg in terms of flags and in x number of years you will be back on MN asking what to do with partner who doesn't do anything, expects you to pay 50/50 for a house despite wage disparity and also leaves all childcare and children's costs to you......take a read of AIBU or relationship board for a crystal ball.

Goodness you are a trusting soul. Try him out before you buy with him. See if he is able to cook, clean and bottle wash. A couple of months will tell you all you need to know. Although to be honest, what he's come out with would put me off progressing any further with thinking about living with him.

Why would you buy a property with someone when you've not even road-tested what he's like to live with yet?

Luckily for you, he's TOLD you what he's going to be like to live with - and it involves sexual favours in return for any housework.

Agree, so the question is would you? If the answer is no, then stop house hunting now. You won’t have a partnership.

He has been clear what it is going to be like when you live together. I think moving together is a bad idea.

He's told you who he is. Whether you buy a house with him depends on how much you enjoy domestic servitude and rewarding the man baby with sexual favours whenever he adults for a couple of hours.

It would be a no from me.