Worried I’m about to move in with a cocklodger

[Holly9]

DP and I are currently house hunting. We’ve had a few conversations around chores etc and some of the stuff he came out with last night has really worried me. For example with his ex he said she done the bulk of the chores but on occasion he’d do a couple hours of solid housework and he’d get ‘rewarded’ at the end 😷I asked if he was joking and he said he was being serious…

Is it wrong or me to reconsider…

Id live with him first before buying. He sounds like a cf

RUN. This is the misogyny he’s freely admitting to. Imagine what he isn’t….

Dear lord, please don’t.

I was so thankful to only be renting with my worst ex (yes, they got steadily worse. I’ve done some work on myself since!) as he waited just around a month to become aggressive and then (as I was waiting to have somewhere else to live) physically violent.

While not all men are like him, I really would invest in a temporary living situation before going to the permanence of buying. And make sure you protect yourself financially.

It’s a no from me.

Sounds more like a Lazy Fucker who will expect sex for any domestic chores he does.

Unless he doesn't pay anything and lets you house him as well.

Run.

@Holly9 do not buy a house with this man.
You've never lived with him and have no idea if this is the tip of the iceberg with his cocklodger ways or if he was just chancing his arm. If your determined to move in with him rent together for atleast a few months 1st

You can't buy a place with him - he expects you to be his mum and clean up after him, and I imagine do his laundry and cook his dinner. If you've bought together it will be so messy to get rid of him when you've had enough.

If you want to continue the relationship, move in together and rent and make it clear that household chores are shared, and maybe he'll step up, though I think this is still a big risk as he'd be likely to revert to man-boy if you ever have kids with him.

Yuk. I would t be buying with him and would be reconsidering the whole relationship

When someone tells you who they are, listen.

In this case, you are listening to sexist oinking from his face flap.

No thank you, in the bin.

I actually think it's extremely considerate of him to warn you like this.

Don't buy a house with him and definitely don't have a baby with him.

You need to stop calling him Partner. You are not partners of equal standing.

He’s a lazy good for nothing. Raise your standards.

Did he end his previous relationship or did his ex??! There's no way in a million years, that I'd be moving in with a man, who expected sexual favours as a reward for doing chores!!! That is grim. He's a grown adult, so therefore he should be taking on chores, because that's what adults do, when they live with a partner! By all means have another conversation with him, making it plain what your expectations are. If his attitude is still the same, please don't tie yourself to this man with property, children or financially.

Don’t buy with him without renting together first on a short lease. 6 months max. You will soon find out.

Good grief woman - no! The hills are ➡➡➡way. He's told you who he is, please listen. I wouldn't even spend time trying him out. Could you really live in such a relationship, for the next 20/30/40/50 years? Could you bring a daughter up thinking this was a healthy relationship?

Run, as fast as you can from this one. Even if you have a conversation about it and he agrees that he will do everything 50/50, HE WILL NOT!!! He will probably be as good as gold for the first few months and then the slippage will start. He's telling you now, loud and clear who and what he is. LISTEN TO HIM!!!

I would not live with this man.

Gross. Luckily he has shown his misogynistic self before you bought a house with him.
stay put.

You would be off your head to buy with this man

Thanks all, just reading back:

-I rent currently, have suggested to DP that he lives with me for a bit first but he’s a bit reluctant, says he’s here twice a week anyway so I know what he’s like by now and we’ve had some week long holidays together. He thinks we should just get on with it before house prices go up further.

-He lived with his ex in a house she owned, when that relationship ended he moved back in with parents where he lives currently.

-He said he ended that relationship as they weren’t compatible and says he is really happy with me and I’m everything he’s wanted.

He will trap you OP

Think yourself lucky you have been told you need to suck his cock if he graciously pushes a hoover around, not everyone gets that warning.

A house is just a house, a home is who's in it.

I could have guessed he lived with his parents …

Please don’t move in with him!

Even if he does housework he will stop once you’re pregnant.

So he's never had to look after himself.
Mummy-ex-mummy - now hopefully you

This is a gamble with the odds totally stacked against you

One of my lines was to never move in with a man who hadn't lived without a female holding him up domestically.

I am so glad that was one of the lines I never crossed.

Run he's trying to trap you and is attempting to bully you out of your reasonable boundaries.
If you buy a house with your him when things inevitably go south you can't leave as you'll have nowhere to go and he'll refuse to move back with his parents and you could end up in court at your cost) to force him to sell.
This man has more red flags than a communist party parade

He said he ended that relationship as they weren’t compatible and says he is really happy with me and I’m everything he’s wanted.

Translation: She got tired of rewarding me with sex for desultory housework and threw me out. I want to trap you into mortgage so you can’t throw me out when I become a cocklodger.