Worried I’m about to move in with a cocklodger

[Holly9]

DP and I are currently house hunting. We’ve had a few conversations around chores etc and some of the stuff he came out with last night has really worried me. For example with his ex he said she done the bulk of the chores but on occasion he’d do a couple hours of solid housework and he’d get ‘rewarded’ at the end 😷I asked if he was joking and he said he was being serious…

Is it wrong or me to reconsider…

No, no, no.

Do not buy a house with this man right now. There is no test like actually living with someone, to see what they are REALLY like.

He's living with his parents - of course he wants to move out ASAP.

Don't rush this. You've only been together 18 months. You need a hard word with him about his expectations. If you still want to stay with him, then find somewhere to rent and spend at least a year living together before you think about buying.

Forgot to answer your question,

Is it wrong to reconsider?

No!

You’d have to be mad. 🤮

Look at it this way. You’re hoping this is the start of a long and happy relationship, and buying the house is the first milestone. Yes? So in the grand scheme of things, he’s being very shortsighted by not moving into yours temporarily, seeing how it goes, and working out the nitty-gritty financial stuff and the day to day living stuff, as a couple rather than two singles. An extra year doing the groundwork could make the difference. Unless he wants you committed and tied in because he thinks you won’t stay with him if you live with him first… in which case he’s a bit shady, and is looking after himself rather than having your happiness and well-being in mind as well as his own.

He said there was a time he got a rimjob (apologies for those who have recently had dinner) 😷

So he’s only lived with an ex in her house, and with his parents? He’s never lived on his own and had to look after himself? That would put me off too.

The update is even worse OP, I’d seriously have the ick

And you really want to move in with that?

Put him in the bin job.

Yeah it’s a hard no. Don’t do it. You should not be making such a financial commitment with someone you’ve not lived with.

Him staying over whilst he lives at his parents is not the same.

He cleans your shared kitchen and you have to lick his arsehole?

You may as well just take it up the arse.

Hm ok “hun” just read your update. Can’t believe I fell for it.

I think she should Vim his arsehole

Tell him the only rim job you’re offering him is cleaning the rim of the toilet.

Vim then vom

Oh! @Holly9

Please do reconsider, this will not end well. If you commit financially, it will be extremely difficult to separate.

It sounds like he'd also be the type to refuse to move out.

The writing is on the wall, we all can see it.

Be smart, pause the house hunting, give the relationship more time.

He has, already, shown you what you can expect.

Is that the kind of life you've envisioned for yourself?

That ‘I would feel awkward cleaning in your kitchen’ comment is just weaponised incompetence.
He wants to move out and you are his solution.
The story about his ex is also vile - that would have me running.

🤑
You know what’s ahead of you then…..no wonder his last relationship didn’t work

I suggest you crack on with buying a home together before another woman comes along and steals him right from under your nose. Men of this calibre are rare and they know their worth.

Oh no @SpringGreenOnion

not another thread "heading" for deletion?

So bloody irritating.

Does he watch AT videos in his free time? Run to the hills.

You’ve lost me. Why would this be deleted?

Thank you, reading the replies has given me a bit of a reality check and backed up my gut feeling that it’s not the right time at all

Wow. Well if you don’t already have your answer and run a mile then I guess we see you back here in a couple of years when you’re trying to work out how to split the house. He might think you’re the one for him and he doesn’t need to waste time renting but can you honestly say the same? Surely not.

I def wouldn't make a very large financial commitment with him