DH putting his foot in it with remark about my friend

[RockingOverTheWorld]

My DH is a wonderful man but has a bit of a habit of inappropriate comments.

His latest ‘effort’ is a step too far and he has a sulk on for me pulling him up on it. So, I’d welcome the collective wisdom of MumsNet to reassure me that I’m right to say he has crossed a line…

My bestie has a new partner - she’s a lovely, caring lady but a self confessed chatter box. We all met up last night for dinner. On the way home, DH and I were discussing what we thought of her new man and both said he seemed really nice, but that he struggled to get much of a word in sat next to my friend.

DH said ‘do you know what I would do to shut her up?’, I obviously said - go on…

His reply - ‘stick my cock in her mouth’

Totally inappropriate regarding a friend IMO, and I told him as much. He has mentioned it to me this evening and thought I should have laughed it off, and is sulking because I’ve stuck to my initial stance.

Am I becoming prudish or was that a shitty comment?

Very very strange comment.

YANBU. Shitty and grim.

Totally inappropriate comment from him

What have I just read? That’s grim.

Eww

it’s bit gross about anyone not just a friend

You do realise he's joking, right?

Eww that's really gross! I'm not a prude and love a mucky joke and a bit of banter but what he said is vile!

Yuck

Your H doesn't sound like a " wonderful man" :he sounds crude and misogynistic.

I would also wonder why he is making such a sexual comment about your friend.

It sounds like you justify a lot of his awful behaviour to yourself.

You do realise it’s obvious he was joking and still grim, right?

Your husband is disgusting. Are the other inappropriate comments this wonderful husband makes in a similar vein?

Me too, I agree with you

Can you explain the joke?

Joking about oral rape is never funny

Not as inappropriate, more along the lines of ‘doesn’t she squash him if they have sex’ sort of stuff that would just get an eye roll.

It's not a joke.
It's a totally inappropriate sexual comment about OP's friend.

As in, did the OP literally think he husband was going to shove his dick in her mate’s mouth to shut her up? I guess she didn’t. So in that respect, I’m sure she didn’t take him literally and she realised he was trying to make a joke. It doesn’t make it an ok thing to say though

Oral rape! Hilarious! What a great joke, that he'd rape a woman for talking!

Is that it? So is the joke that even though he says he would orally rape your friend, it's funny because actually he wouldn't even think of it!

Do you find male sexual violence funny, then? A joke is meant to be funny.

Well if he has history of making sexual comments about your friend and you don't usually pull him up on them no wonder he is surprised you didn't like this one.
Please explain the " wonderful man" description you used.

If my DH said that I'd faint with shock as it is not the type of thing he'd say at all - he doesn't even swear.
But, if one of my best friends (who is male) said it then I would totally expect him to say it as he is a crude banter type kind of guy (gay). So I wouldn't be shocked at all. So I think it really depends on what you are used to hearing from someone!

So op, if you said to your DH “your friend talks too much. I’d sit on his face to shut him up” would he be amused? I’d wager not!

So your husband makes derogatory comments about your friend’s size, sex life and thinks it’s a hilarious joke to suggest the only thing that would shut her up is forcing her to perform oral
sex on him. He doesn’t like her much does he?

yeah, “wonderful” isn’t a word I’d use to describe your husband. Gross misogynist might be nearer the mark.

Oh, look, yet another day ending in Y and another shitty misogynist making crude gross sexual comments about a woman.

Men who make these awful lewd comments at their core don't really like women. They're attracted to them, they want sex with them, but they don't like them. They don't see women as full human beings or have real respect for them as a person.

Yes @RockingOverTheWorld, that is your husband. He sees women as sex holes, not as a person in themselves. He told you that.