DH putting his foot in it with remark about my friend

[RockingOverTheWorld]

My DH is a wonderful man but has a bit of a habit of inappropriate comments.

His latest ‘effort’ is a step too far and he has a sulk on for me pulling him up on it. So, I’d welcome the collective wisdom of MumsNet to reassure me that I’m right to say he has crossed a line…

My bestie has a new partner - she’s a lovely, caring lady but a self confessed chatter box. We all met up last night for dinner. On the way home, DH and I were discussing what we thought of her new man and both said he seemed really nice, but that he struggled to get much of a word in sat next to my friend.

DH said ‘do you know what I would do to shut her up?’, I obviously said - go on…

His reply - ‘stick my cock in her mouth’

Totally inappropriate regarding a friend IMO, and I told him as much. He has mentioned it to me this evening and thought I should have laughed it off, and is sulking because I’ve stuck to my initial stance.

Am I becoming prudish or was that a shitty comment?

Really gross. He’s a wonderful man ?

Are you married to Jay from the Inbetweeners? 😂

He's vile. I couldn't bear to be around someone like that.

Your husband doesn't have a habit of putting his foot in his mouth, he's a misogynistic asshole who says oopsie when he gets caught. How this wouldn't make you feel violently ill at the thought of intimacy with him I don't know. And to do it continuously means he doesn't give a sht if you care or are offended.

Fucking hell, he sounds horrible!

Ignorant sexist fuckwit

The more we let men joke about raping us, the more normalised it becomes. So no, we don't let them get away with it with an eye roll. I'd be horrified and frankly couldn't get past it.

OP, they'll eat you alive here. It was a joke, designed to shock, that's often what makes jokes funny.

"My DH is a wonderful man" somehow I doubt that

Both his recent comment and the past one you mentioned make me think that while you're happily chatting away with your friends, his mind is busy imagining having some form of sex with them.

An eye roll? So he makes vile comments about your friend and her sex life and then ‘jokes’ about sexually assaulting her? And your reaction is an eye roll?

I wouldn’t let him within a million miles of my best friend ever again. Not because I think he’d try to assault her, because men like that normally turn out to be a complete poop when anyone confronts them, but because I love my friends and I would never knowingly stand by and watch them associate with someone who had spoken about them so disgustingly.

And what are you talking about when you claim he’s a wonderful man? No he’s not! He’s fucking grim. I’d be horrified I’d ever let him near me if my DH had ever said anything like that. I’m embarrassed for you that, out of all the men in the UK, this is the one you’ve chosen. Where the fuck is your self esteem?

His comment was horrible and also seriously weird.

Even aside from the fact it's disgusting, I don't get the joke at all. What on earth ....

I would not let this go!

Definitely not a wonderful man based on this story

There’s a line, mate.

Totally agree with this.

@RockingOverTheWorld i'm not easily shocked but was like WTF 😬

It seems he should know how your sense of humor runs by now.

My husband and I sometimes say shocking, dirty things and think it's hysterical but I would not like that comment, either.

It's too much. Vicious, misogynistic to the extreme and also involving him and sexual activity with your friend.

Tell him he can apologize whenever he's through pouting like a big stupid baby.

I guess it's kind of crude, stupid, sexist, and hostile - but he sounds so nonchalant that maybe he often talks like that.

It's disrespectful to pigs to call him a pig. Pigs are lovely, very intelligent animals.

He sounds like a porn user.

Classy guy. Not.

Are you not going to haul him over the coals for this in a way that he's never going to forget?

As the saying goes... if you don't stand for something, you'll stand for anything.

Ew.

It's the kind of thing I'd have probably laughed along with in my early 20s as a bit of an insecure, man pleasing pick me who thought she was a bit edgy.

A couple of decades later I can see it for what it is - repulsive, sexist and not even slightly funny.

Oh well that's ok then. You must tell him to keep his inappropriate remarks about fat people only 🙄

We must have very different ideas of putting your foot in it OP. I clicked onto this thinking it would be something like your DP accidentally calling your friends new partner by her ex's name or some other such mildly endearing faux pas.

Instead your DP just sounds like an utter creep and far from being a wonderful person.