DH putting his foot in it with remark about my friend

[RockingOverTheWorld]

My DH is a wonderful man but has a bit of a habit of inappropriate comments.

His latest ‘effort’ is a step too far and he has a sulk on for me pulling him up on it. So, I’d welcome the collective wisdom of MumsNet to reassure me that I’m right to say he has crossed a line…

My bestie has a new partner - she’s a lovely, caring lady but a self confessed chatter box. We all met up last night for dinner. On the way home, DH and I were discussing what we thought of her new man and both said he seemed really nice, but that he struggled to get much of a word in sat next to my friend.

DH said ‘do you know what I would do to shut her up?’, I obviously said - go on…

His reply - ‘stick my cock in her mouth’

Totally inappropriate regarding a friend IMO, and I told him as much. He has mentioned it to me this evening and thought I should have laughed it off, and is sulking because I’ve stuck to my initial stance.

Am I becoming prudish or was that a shitty comment?

I'm not laughing about a reference to silencing a woman using sexual violence either and I'm not going to lighten up about it anytime soon.

I'm being polite when I say your husband is not a good man if he thinks that's funny.

Hang on, haven’t you posted about him before about this exact comment?

Is this just a chance to say misogynistic things here?

@whycantibeselfishforonce
I could not disagree with you more.
It genuinely stopped me in my tracks when I read what he said.
It's horrible and I would consider any man who spoke like that completely repugnant and contemptible. It's not banter, it's 100% misogyny pure and simple. If that's what he freely says, I'd dread to think what he's thinking.

Is the wonderful man in the room with us…

Because a man who regularly makes sexually degrading comments about your friend or frankly anyone isn’t wonderful.

😮 that’s absolutely shocking?
I’m surprised you’re not more .. outraged?

I could never be with a man who would say something like that. Nasty.

I don't find it funny.
I'm saying that a man prone to "putting his foot in it" was obviously joking.

The fact that he makes jokes about OPs friend a lot, and this wasn't just a one-off badly worded "joke" that completely backfired shows more what OPs DH is like.

You do realise it's neither funny or appropriate?

To clarify the ‘squash’ comment wasn’t about this friend, he always get along with and respects her. He just went a step too far last night.

I’d be interested to hear what his previous inappropriate comments were .

So he degrades multiple friends of yours. Lovely chap. It’s not any better you know.

You think that's an ok joke to make to your partner?

He respects her.....sure.

What the fuck, yanbu!

WTAF.
There is nothing 'wonderful' about this man.

Wtf?

That's more than putting his foot in it.

How can you be with a man who thinks that way?

I thought this was funny! Sorry everyone! He was just joking, and it’s gross, shocking and kind of obvious (I guessed that was what he was going to say) but it reminds me of the inbetweeners so I did laugh. Of course oral rape is not funny in the slightest, but this was just a silly purile thing to say about a talkative lady that would obviously never happen, so it amused me.

He does not respect her. Or you.

The latter is his defence essentially!

Oh right so he makes inappropriate unpleasant comments about a lot of women then?
Not just this friend.

He doesn't respect her one tiny bit if he can speak about her like that.

How can you make excuses for him?

This is way worse than you think it is. You're actually being unreasonable for downplaying it, not for pulling him up on it.

My husband would never say anything so crude ,or disrespectful to women.
Gosh .. I actually can't imagine being with a man who was like that

He is not "a wonderful man".

He sounds like a fucking pig. Good luck with him.