Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

everyone ages though no one looks the same - some age at different rates. I can think of a number of people who look 35/40 at 20 and still weirdly look the same at 60

the fact is from a personal perspective you notice things change as you get older whoever you are even if they aren’t obvious to others

According to a cosmetic surgeon, generally speaking white Irish caucasian females age the fastest and black males age the slowest. In between are Indians and East Asians.

Irish?? Is Irish Caucasian as an actual ethnic group?

Her porn actress name is Kayden Kross, I'm not sure what her real name is.

No offence but I actually find her hair a bit brassy, but I suppose it's a nice warm colour. And maybe skin tone has an effect too.

Lol.

I'm a bit bamboozled by this too.

Irish people, Irish and Northern Irish, are a mix of Celts, Normans, English & Scottish settlers, viking/Scandinavia settlers, a few world war 2 Americans of varied ethnic backgrounds (in the North anyway when we were the Allies' most Westerly base) etc.

They don't fit into one neat group, anymore than other people in the British Isles fit into one neat group.

I’ve noticed a couple of people who appeared not to age when in fact, they looked prematurely middle-aged when in fact young, and then appeared to ‘stay’, unchanging, till retirement age.

I can think of two people I know for whom this is true, both white, Irish people. One is a man I’ve known since he was 30 — he’s now 66. He has always been a very skinny, rather haggard man (built like a jockey), and is exactly as skinny and haggard as he always was now. Was always pale and slightly wrinkly, and has kept his hair, which he dyes to his original colour. The other is someone I knew as a departmental administrator in the department I studied in in the early 90s, who looked a staid 45-ish then, and looked pretty much identical when I returned to work in that department in 2020, the year she retired. Again, I think she must have looked far older than her age in the 90s, partly because of her self-presentation.

Relating anecdotes about random "Irish" people and how they age, is about as relevant as me relaying anecdotes about random English, Scottish or Welsh people and how well they age.

All regions of the British Isles have been mixed to a greater or lesser extent with the ethnic groups from within and around our islands.

If you were referring to an "Irish" person from anywhere in Ireland but especially the North & Northern Ireland, for example, you'd very possibly be referring to a Scottish person.

Because a huge portion of the population here is of Scottish extraction.
The clue is in the names ....in my year at school for example, half the pupils had names from the neighbouring regions in Scotland (Campbell, Buchanan, McClean, McPherson/Pherson, McClay, McKay, Galbraith, Arbuckle etc.) a significant portion had Scottish names which themselves are of viking extraction (Thompson, Wilson, Patterson, Wilkinson etc ) and the rest a mixture of Scottish/English etc. names eg Hunter, Mercer, and a few "Irish" names like Kelly etc.

Even "Irish" names like McLaughlin are of viking/mixed extraction.

So, it's completely pointless to try to judge "white Irish" people. Just as it would be "White English" people.

As a man I would suggest that the type of man following / commenting on the women you mentioned on social media are not the type of men who's attention you want in the first place.

I have never commented, liked, added etc any woman I do not know and have no interest in doing so, it just feels weird to me.

There are also a huge group of men who would much rather a woman looks natural rather than "fake", we don't find an inch of makeup, fake tan, lashes, extensions duck lips etc attractive.

As a white Irish person, I wonder why you think I’m unaware of any of this.

Then you need a kind man more so than a nice one, and there is a big difference. However the real reason you can’t believe them or me is because you don’t believe it deep down yourself, and THATS what you need to work on.

Lookit I’ve been in relationships and here is the unvarnished truth, I’ve dated a variety of women of varying body types. Yes big boobs and smaller boobs, and I promise you not once dating any of them did I feel I was settling or did I think they were perfect if only their boobs were a different size or their legs were longer or shorter or whatever metric you wanna conjure.

I thought they were all very attractive and YES capable of being very sexy too. THIS is what most right thinking men think about their partners. This is what I predict your forever guy is gonna feel about you, irrespective of what you do or don’t do about your chest. I promise you.

Finally being sexy is not some quality either men or women sit in perpetually not even the most genetically gifted of us. It’s a vibe we embody when we feel like it, and truth is you can do it right now, just for yourself if you really wish to.

I don’t think the differences between women and men are so massively different in this respect, as newsflash I’m not going to be sexy to the vast majority of women on the planet either, and do you know what that’s actually okay. I don’t think I’d wish to be truth be told, but to the right woman with whom the vibe is right, we can make one another pulse and crackle with desire.

What really stands in the way of all us is self doubt, fear and vulnerability. You aren’t unique in that respect we ALL feel it to some greater or lesser extent. I promise you, you aren’t uniquely undesirable. Just perhaps the feelings are more acute for you right now. So please please please, take all the kind words people have found for you and let them sink in just a little bit. A much fuller life awaits you once you are more at peace with yourself, and can see your own value.

OP, you do know that the 'rock hard bolted on round' implants aren't like that at the time they are implanted? It's a complication called capsular contracture that develops over time and can happen to anyone.

It sounds to me like you have body dysmorphia and that after implants, you'll likely focus on another perceived imperfection. It's not healthy to be so obsessed that a part of your body apparently makes you unattractive and not not believe anyone who says otherwise.

In real life, initial physical attraction is just a tiny part of a relationship and after that, a whole myriad of things make your partner attractive to you.

Ps I'm small and was very slim with ridiculous massive tits at your age. I'm 50 now and my clothes all look shit because my boobs are like a matronly shelf. I'd prefer a pair of classy small boobs any day but that's not what I've got so them's the breaks

My earlier comment got deleted? Okey-dokey 🙄

Is this part of the problem? Might it be better to get out there and meet some real people, instead of obsessing about what hypothetical future men might be going to think about your breasts?

Because of your post (?)

@KoiTetra Thanks for your post. Some men either don't know that all the make up and filters is actually that fake (yes they might see some make up, but they don't realise actually how much is on the woman's face....especially when it's women they've never seen in real life!)

With me, it's more the breast size thing that was troubling me.... I don't like layers and layers of make up, I think a little goes a long way, but I really think these men writing 'thirst' comments were just honing on the breasts and not really too fussed about the faces 😂

Sorry I rambled there anyway. Thanks basically.

I would love to have your body at my age. I'm also small and very slim, but I'm just hip and bum. Not huge, but they look big compared to my very small waist.

I always think the busty look is sexier.

But I can understand you not necessarily loving your body. I bet that you got lots of positive comments from your boyfriends/husbands about your figure though?

@ChristmaslightsuptilJanuary I know initial physical attraction may not be everything but I'd still much rather it be there.

About capsular contracture - it doesn't happen to everyone. It's supposed to be a very low risk with the newer implants. The surgeons I spoke with told me that implants do feel hard and tight at first, and then over a period of months they 'fluff and drop', i.e. drop down lower on the chest and begin to feel softer.

In any case, I can't go rushing and getting implants right now anyway. I have time to think on it.

And positive comments from others make it ok? They outweigh any feelings you may have about your body because if a man likes it is ok?

Never mind how clothes don’t fit, how you can’t wear buttoned tops need to worry about having clothes fit in one place they do in another because breasts are all about positive comments from others (and the sexualising of breasts is a whole other topic)

because I think that is the real root of all of this. You can’t love your own body you don’t know how to do you have fixated onto others finding it attractive

No, I didn't say that (appropriate) compliments from men 'outweigh' personal feelings about one's body. I merely asked if previous boyfriends/her husband had liked/admired her body, out of interest, but I can well imagine that being the case.

Sexualising breasts is something that is huge in Western cultures, and so many (men) believe it's genetically hardwired into them...when there's no real proof of that, and there are cultures where men don't see breasts as sexual objects. Rainforest/hunter gatherer societies I think, need to find the studies.

I know I don't like my body (well not my breasts anyway), I think I've explained why in lots of comments...It isn't easy for everyone to 'like' their bodies, and some of us do, yes, care what the opposite sex thinks. Even if not every man shares the same ideas.

To be honest, given the Western media, and Western culture over the past 60 years or so, I don't think it's wholly surprising how I feel about my breasts. Do you?

What I am saying is that I think you are trying to fit the of gap of not liking your body but thinking if someone else does it makes it ok.

it isn’t about looking or feeling attractive to others my concern is that this is trying to paper over your dislike of it

Have you gotten anything out of this thread OP? Has it helped in any way?

To be honest, given the Western media, and Western culture over the past 60 years or so, I don't think it's wholly surprising how I feel about my breasts. Do you?

I agree.

However this is where you, as you grow up, have to realise that the media is just the media, the sex industry is just the sex industry, social media is just social media .....none of them are real life and real relationships.

Though for the sake of argument, you focus on the media that shows women with c or above boobs being desirable /ideal/sexy .....but don't focus on the media that shows b or below boobed women who are pulling famous men, rich men, high status men, attractive men.....all of whom I've given you examples of throughout the thread.

You haven't focused on prime Johnny Depp dating a succession small boobed women, for example.

You haven't focused on women with small boobs who are widely considered extremely beautiful & attractive and who have had massively successful careers as movie stars , like Grace Kelly or Natalie Portman.

You haven't focused on someone like Sienna Miller, who doesn't have big boobs - being successful as an actress (including in sexy roles like in Layer Cake), and who appears to pull plenty of younger, attractive, successful men.

You haven't focused on someone like Victoria Beckham, who - even after implants - still had small boobs, pulling someone like David Beckham. Who may be a tatt'ed, sold his soul to the devil prima donna now, but back then was as desirable as any high earning, super star footballer could be.

You haven't focused on women with big boobs whose careers or personal lives haven't gone swimmingly.

That's all in the media too.

When you talk about lads mags, you talk about a typical lads mags model (implying with big boobs) but in the 90s and early 00s - as I said - lads mags favourites included women without huge boobs regularly (Denise VO, Louise Rednapp, Sophie Anderton).

OP- follow some sportier women on Instagram. Climbers and cyclists. They usually have very athletic bodies with small breasts and look fantastic. I expect that you think Instagram is full of large breasted women because they are the posts you are lingering over/engaging with and so the algorithms are feeding you that content. I don't think I see many/any large breasted women on my socials

Also, your opening post was about Instagram and SM "models"/influencers.... whether they do only fans or not; they are kinda within the sex industry, right?

And while there is some variety, the sex industry tends towards large/prominent when it comes to "sexual" body parts.
Hence the male actors are on average considerably larger dick-wise than men who are not in that industry. (In fact, I would say that from watching porn, my perception of size in that department has been skewed).

Any industry tends to become extreme e.g. fitness, body building, beauty, fashion (many cat walk, fashion magazine & retail models are painfully thin).

If a guy were to take your approach, and focus on Instagram & SM male fitness models (and magazines, and celebs who've gotten ripped for a role) and stayed in that realm all the time ..... He would end up thinking a gym bod and six pack would be the only thing that's acceptable, the only thing women want, that they'd always pick that over a less ripped physique ...... and he'd probably not be v happy with his body - in fact he'd probably be perpetually dissatisfied with it. He might even end up taking enhancers that are not good for your health.

But he wouldn't be right about any of those assumptions, would he?
There are women who find pretty much every body type attractive. There are women who favour things above (or equal to) looks/physique. There are women who can be attracted to all sorts of looks/types.

You're in the equivalent position.

If you want a Towie/Love island contestant bloke, then maybe. But you don't strike me someone who wants a Towie bloke.