Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

By slim I mean healthy, NOT underweight or anorexic.
i am and have been a healthy weight, no bones jutting out, for years. I have regular periods and thick hair. I am healthy.

You got implants because of his preference for larger breasts? How did you find out he preferred that?

No, not because of his preference… I had wanted them for myself and maybe I held back because I thought it was vain, or self-indulgent…. but after speaking about it to my DH he was encouraging (I hasten to add he had NEVER made me feel inadequate).

I'm finding you increasingly frustrating. Big breasts are more attractive to some men. We've all given countless examples of beautiful and sexy women with small breasts. We've all given examples of rich and famous men who could have ĺany women, who've chosen small breasted beauties. The study that looked at breast size preferences showed that more men preferred a b cup to a d cup. Men have come on to say they're not interested in big breasts. Still you think that the only way to be desirable is to have a boob job.
The fact that page 3 existed doesn't prove anything. We know some men like big breasts and some like small breasts and some like medium breasts - and many don't care. Seeing the attention page 3 models got from sleazy old men who saw them as a pair of tits, makes me wonder why you want the same type of attention.
OP, you're either sexy and attractive to men or you're not.
I think you have absolutely zero understanding of male sexuality.

OP, your fixation with a physical match without mentioning anything whatsoever about liking each other, having interests in common, finding someone's mind sexy etc. does make me worry a lot that your insecurity & lack of self-confidence oozes out of you in a room of people.

The main reason that worries me is that exactly the kind of man you DON'T want in your life is a pro a spotting this in women and manoeuvring on it. Then 3 months in he'll say something small like 'ooh, you'd be hotter if you were 5 lbs less' or 'well I usually go for girls with bigger boobs' etc...and then you're off. The cycle of negging & undermining your self-esteem begins.

It sounds like you've had more than your fair share of these kind of men in your life already - whether as partners or just "friends".

I think you'd really be doing yourself a favour if you look up a CBT counsellor or someone specialising in physical self-image in your area. And have a look at some scripts for 'loving kindness meditation' - they might be really helpful to help you build up your love for your already really quite enviable (based on the numbers you gave) figure!

Above all, it sounds like your dickhead filter is well & truly broken & you need to spend some time away from social media & these people in real life, so you can recalibrate your idea of what a healthy relationship looks like & where might be the best environments to spend time to meet a man who will look at you as more than a pair of breasts (hanging off a skeleton with a brain in, that he doesn't give a toss about one way or the other).

I hope you'll absorb some of the worldly & kind advice you've been given in this thread to help turn down the volume on the one message about breast size that keeps playing over & over on loop in your head. Believing in yourself & your inherent self-worth is a really, really important part of not attracting blokes who will only damage you further. Best of luck with it all!

It' s true, she doesn't! She really has no clue!

especially men as they are more visual overall

This is a cliche that I've never found to be true; I've never seen a good looking man single (unless he chose to be) regardless of his character or financial circumstances.

like bust size is a bigger part of beauty of them than, say, nose size and shape. Men don’t scrutinise women’s’ nose shapes

I actually don't agree.

I think men (and women) have things they notice/pay attention to etc and they vary quite a lot.

Ime I find a pretty face goes a long way with a lot of men, for example.

What sort of bust size does your h prefer, purely out of interest? Did he mention a celebrity crush with larger boobs or something?

None of the women he has crushed on/crushes on have significantly larger busts than me, only marginally perhaps.

He just said - in response to me mentioning I have a relatively small bust - "well, that's the trade off" (referring to the fact that I'm slim). I took from that that he would prefer a slightly larger bust but that he prioritises his prospective partner being slim and athletic over that.

I might have thought about that and other things when young, I don't now.
I have different priorities and perspectives.

Also, as I said, while he's a good looking guy - he's not my ideal physically so ....

(Anyway - to my surprise, when younger I had several boyfriends say very positive things about them - which proves the point everyone is making in this thread; men are all different.

One of the guys who said very positive things went on to marry an Asian American lady - who tend to have slim builds and not big boobs - so it's clear that's his taste.
They all have different tastes. He's a wall street trader by the way so yet another example of someone incels think is an "alpha").

With respect this whole thread shows that mentally and emotionally no your arent in a good place and accessing therapy will help.

Do you really think having a boob job is going to make it all better because as you said you aren’t able to be in a place for long term relationship anyway.

I also think that casual sex/hook ups favour only the minority of women.

The risks (we have more chance of contracting STDs from them than vice versa) , the pregnancy risks, the downsides of contraceptives, the fact we get more oxytocin from hook ups than men etc etc ....they all converge to make casual sex more advantageous to men, then to us imho.

We also still get judged much harder for it than men.

And I've lost count of the number of women of my acquaintance who've gotten upset by casual situations.

I wouldn't advise any young woman to do it ..... But especially not one who's vulnerable in a way.

Did he mention a celebrity crush with larger boobs or something?

I should add that when you're in a long relationship and the person acts decently (doesn't cheat etc) your attitude to not having their "ideal" body changes a lot.

I would playfully rib my h about being prompted with an Evangeline Lily search in Google on his pc.

He would playfully put a David Gandy for M&S box (for UW he bought) in my bed against the pillow.

If the person is faithful and decent, you put all this nonsense in perspective.

My point was that I want them to find me sexy

Hetero men find women sexy.

Men who are attracted to women with smaller busts (and that includes men who are capable of being very attracted to women with varied size of bust, there are plenty of them too, see the Jason Statham example) . find women with smaller busts sexy.

End of.

How the relationship goes (even it's only hooking up) after that fact is down to many other factors.

I'm sure all of Halle Berry's partners or Jennifer Lopez's partners found them sexy - they're both beautiful, sexy women.

(And J Lo doesn't seem inhibited in that department given her comments on doing "everything physically possible it is to do" with one of her ex husbands).

Nonetheless they're both divorced numerous times.

They've both been mistreated, especially Halle Berry.

They've both had numerous relationships fail.
They've both been cheated on.

Kate Hudson waxed lyrical about keeping her sex life good with her h by wearing short skirts with no knickers .....I'm sure he appreciated the knickerless short skirt wearing ... ... but still they're divorced now.

Being sexy to your partner is nice but it's not really important and doesn't really have that much impact in the face of other things.

I’m sure you are right, that your body weight is healthy, @ThisChic, but I am not so sure your relationship with your body - the mental health side of that relationship - is healthy. Is it possible your focus has moved on (in an unhealthy way) from your weight to your figure/boobs?

Honestly this. Please talk to a therapist about these thoughts.

To me you sound very unhealthy and not in a good place to decide on plastic surgery.

Not a problem. It happens, we all do it 😂 you didn't need to answer, it is appreciated though. Take care 😁

I think it’s clear OP doesn’t have an issue with her boobs but a body dysmorphia disorder which is coming out as fixation on being sexy to men, even the awful ones, because it will validate her.

We all know that it won’t, and another obsession will pop up after that and another and another. Like I said earlier in the thread - take Katie Price as the example.

@ThisChic you do not need a boob job, you do not need every man who sets on you to desire you, you aren’t healthy or content in your life.

You need therapy to address your obsession with male validation. Nothing you do to yourself will ever make you attractive to all men, or even most of them, especially not if you model yourself on what incels say a woman should be - and don’t forget, incels also think women are ‘used up’ by 21 so you are already well past their desirable age - because the majority of men have different tastes and preferences in the same way women do.

You will never find any level of contentment in life whilst your validation relies on what ‘men’ think of you, or how attractive they find you.
If you are honest when you say you want to look beautiful for you, what do you think will change in your life? What will be better? What will happen when that beauty fades?

I think you have absolutely zero understanding of male sexuality.

This is absolutely clear. I think the OP has extremely limited knowledge of real men and is getting her (incorrect) information from tiktok, incels and dubious surveys.

Whatever anyone says to her to the contrary she just keeps on with her fixation about how she imagines all men want women with large breasts.

I don't think she wants any advice, she really came on here to try to get confirmation of her ridiculous thought processes so that she could justify to herself getting surgery, but it hasn't worked. If she actually wanted to find out genuine opinions she would have taken the comments on board but she hasn't.

More importantly it's clear she has body image issues which would be helped by therapy, as suggested by numerous people, but again it's clear she has absolutely no intention of getting that help. She does appear to be demonstrating that rigidity of thinking and refusal to acknowledge the true situation which is often a feature of those who suffer from anorexia, and is yet another reason for her to have therapy.

I can almost guarantee that when she leaves this thread after hundreds of responses she will still think all men want women with large tits, she'll have no therapy and will have a breast augmentation. Then she'll be in even more of a mess because despite what she thinks, she won't suddenly appear to be incredibly sexy and have queues of men wanting to date her.

I meant how did you find out he prefered bigger ones though? Or did he just never tell you and hid it really well intolérable you mentioned implants 😂

@Hortus No I don’t believe that all men prefer large breasts and I believe the women on here who have given examples of real life anecdotes and of rich men.

It just runs deeper for me. I just hate my breasts and if I did date a man who said he liked them, I just couldn’t truly believe him. I’m just being honest.

I’m not averse to having therapy before booking any surgery, but it’s long NHS waiting times and private is ridiculously expensive.

The thing is, once you get your breast surgery, you'll start fixating on something else that you hate about your body.

Learn how to accept your body how it is. You are lovable no matter what size tits you have.

@wrongthinker Thank you, and yes everyone is loveable…. I wasn’t really talking about loveable though just looking nice.

But then as lots of posters on here have sais you don’t need big boobs to ‘look nice’.

I’ve never wanted multiple surgeries as they end up looking scary. I don’t believe in a physical perfection really. I just wanted a tasteful boob job… but thank you x

I really do think it will be worth it OP because I am not sure actually getting your breasts done is going to solve this - I think it runs far deeper than that and if you want to be happy get the private therapy.

hating a part of your body isn’t normal and your posts indicate how bad your anorexia was in your teens as well

Starting to think attractive men don’t find OP attractive ”sexy” is because she is so self absorbed and bores them to impotence with her endless need to explain her carefully researched hypotheses regarding her teeth, breasts, influencers’ boobs and attractiveness.

You are ignoring everyone who is concerned about your mental health, @ThisChic.