Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

they are the posts you are lingering over/engaging with and so the algorithms are feeding you that content

Definitely.

I don't understand why you think case studies of men complimenting women with larger breasts validates your point. It's demonstrable that individual men are attracted to different body types, in the same way that women are.

I don't think you should worry. For me, it's your personality and intelligence that shines through . That's what I love, and the size of your breasts or anything else doesn't matter to me

@ChristmaslightsuptilJanuary thank you :) I’m not super sporty but I do run. Before I deactivated Instagram, I used to follow influencers with the same body type as me - slim pear.
I just used to scroll through TikTok and Instagram and look at busty influencers/accounts with high (59-500k) followers and look at the comments, to see how popular/hyped up they were.

Out of interest, how have men you’ve dated/your husband reacted to your breasts? Were they all really wowed by them, not fussed, or it differed?

I still want to be found desirable and beautiful by some men thorough!

Obviously everyone’s character matters. But I want to make the most of my youth and chance to look good.

But thank you

I'm sure you are desirable and beautiful already in many ways including your breasts and looks, but not one thing is important on its own x

You won’t ’make the most of your youth’ if you spend it focussing on what you perceive to be your bodily flaws, though, @ThisChic. This is why posters have said you need therapy first, to ensure that this isn’t a new manifestation of the body dysmorphia that caused your anorexia in the past.

Do you want to take the risk of having the surgery, and then finding your mind simply finds another ‘flaw’ to obsess about?

Then what is stopping you? The way you describe yourself certainly seems to be something some men would find attractive at least! If not quite a lot

To be honest, I'd find it pretty off putting to be with someone who was preoccupied by a body part

But presumably the men I've been with are generally attracted to larger boobs so yes, they've complimented them but that's sort of self-fulfilling isn't it?

My husband has also seen me feeding our child with them so presumably they've taken on a different 'identity' since we first got together

My male friend is a very keen sportsperson and his wife has very small boobs and is athletic looking. Different men like different body types. I'm a typical apple and have a flat arse. Presumably I would be overlooked by men who like bums (which are also all over the media and sported by many many celebrities etc). Honestly, having small breasts doesn't mean you'll have to 'settle'

Are you on X ?

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I can totally understand the point that plastic surgery/tweakments can become an obsession and an addiction for some people. But not to most.

I know I might have more of a complex/fixation about my breasts than other women who perhaps just don't like theirs, but I don't hate all of my body/appearance and I don't plan on changing everything.

Small breasts might be a 'perceived' flaw, but they're a flaw/undesirable in lot's of mens opinions too. I know that not all men think this, and I know I don't need to change my body to please all men. Yet I still would like to have a body I feel sexy in.

I agree about surgery addiction being a real issue. I don't want to go there. I don't think just getting one procedure - if I do it - will lead me there, personally.

@RaindropsonNoses No, not currently on any social media.

That's kind but I just can't get past my feelings for my breasts, at least not now...

What's stopping me having surgery? Money!

Aww okay. I was going to say I would follow you on there if you were on there

Stopping you going out and finding that person

it isn’t money it isn’t surgery it is you. You are stopping yourself and you know this. You need to try and find a way to get beyond your breasts

because as you say it is just some men not all you need

I think you would be surprised by the number of men who dont see smaller breasts as a bad thing. You learn that as a woman as you go through life. Your still looking in the wrong places for hints on what men find attractive.

Do you really think implants will make a big difference to the number of men who want to sleep with you? And why is it a numbers game anyway. Quality not quantity definitely applies with men!

@Dervel
I’ve been in relationships and here is the unvarnished truth, I’ve dated a variety of women of varying body types..... I thought they were all very attractive and YES capable of being very sexy too.

Finally being sexy is not some quality either men or women sit in perpetually not even the most genetically gifted of us.

Thank you. Out of interest, how old are you?
I'd also add that 'genetically gifted' is subjective, to an extent at least! :)

I'd hope that a future date/boyfriend would feel as you describe, I just can't erase my worry that he'll be secretly be thinking I look physically inferior to (fake) Instagram/Tiktok people and certainly inferior to busty women 😂It's a thing with my generation. I think lots of the men are quite gullible (no offence).

A few years ago, a man, an acquaintance, started talking to me via WhatsApp/Instagram and we'd talk about all sorts. It went on for a few months. He at one point ended up describing the filtered, bodytuned (edited) type of accounts I've described on this thread as "the top 10% of women everyone wants" 🙄I wanted to reply back with something catty like, 'the top 10% of edits everyone wants', but just ignored it.

@Tiswa You know what, to think about it, the reason I don't put myself out there at all - not on dating apps or in real life - is because I have the beliefs I've described in this thread about men, and I don't want to be settled for, physically.

My beliefs might not be all rational or true, in fact I hope they aren't, but they won't just disappear over night.

I know nobody can please every man, but some peoples' looks/bodies are more popular than others.

"Top 10% of women everyone wants"- but remember that was his words-one man's opinion.

I hope that's true, but it's not really what we see in the media/online/in films etc, there seems to be ridicule aimed at smaller breasts.

Will implants make a big difference to the number of men who'd want to sleep with me? To be honest, I think the answer to that is yes, as I still think most men prefer larger breasts. Not all, but most.

I don't want to sleep around, but I still want the men I do sleep with to be really into me.

I have no breasts at all due to cancer. I am completely flat. I was offered reconstruction on the NHS and I turned it down. I still think I’m attractive, even good-looking. I get compliments when I’m out and about and I don’t think people really tend to notice my lack of breasts.

You are right. He's actually an educated person too, but a bit laddish. It was my thinking that lots of men our age would feel similarly to him.

I am sure you are still beautiful! A woman with very small or no still can be beautiful, at least to lots of men. The obsession with breasts is a Western cultural thing.

If I'd been through cancer (and I really salute you, I don't know I'd cope), I don't know how I'd feel because that's a life changing situation.

For me, it's just a cosmetic issue.

Well again you keep referring to numbers. So do you want to meet that one amazing man (after a period of fun if that's what you want) or do you want to go through life trying to impress the masses and potentially never being happy. The wrong men will not make you happy. The right man for you will make you happy.

And I know it feels like society, media etc thinks small breasts arent desirable but I think subconsciously you are seeking out the views "evidence" to validate what you are thinking and ignoring the bigger body of evidence that should tell you it's not important.

That is exactly why you need therapy.

because as I have said there is so many oxymorons in your beliefs.

You both want to be found attractive by everyone (won’t happen simply won’t)
then by a lot of men because you think most want big breasts
or not to be settled by a man - and your statistics even back up that your figure is ideal for some men

so really you just want to be loved by someone - but I don’t think they plastic surgery will help you need all your negative thinking unpicked