Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

I also don't believe they are objectively perfect, but just that a majority (some) men think they are nowadays.

This is also compounded by the fact that they significantly eat their photos/videos.

I accept that changing your looks doesn't bring life contentment, but I still want to look beautiful anyway just because I want to.

Oh I get this, it isn't just about what they think of me, but also what I think of them.

My point was that I want them to find me sexy. I don't mean that I shouldn't also be happy with them.

Ah ok that makes an awful lot of sense - please do seek some again as BDD and anorexia are similar and can have crossover and really do think this is another way it has appeared

I wouldn’t take much notice of these surveys. Most men, and evidently some women, don’t realise that a bra cup size isn’t a fixed size. An FF cup on a slim woman can be smaller than an A cup on a bigger woman

Very true, loads of women don't understand bra sizes let alone men. My bra size isn't even in that survey.

Darling, curve isn't straight up and down with boobs. That is a slim/thin person with big boobs.
Curves are shape. Hourglass, pear shaped. Athletic could be curve I guess (imo, not really) but it's like Burlesque.... I've seen so many thin girls with big boobs as 'voluptuous'. That's not voluptuous.
Some hips, some thighs, a lot of breast and maybe...... Even a bit of belly 😳🫨

I've been a curvy girl all my life and have never been short on attention.

Are you aware of the scientific research into breast size preference (ie not lads mags/bored journalist surveys) that show a correlation between breast size preference and resource scarcity, the lower down the socioeconomic scale I mean is the more likely he is to prefer larger breasts, with the people at the top of the scale liking the smallest breasts. There's also research that suggests a correlation between willingness to commit and breast size, again with men most willing to commit preferring the smallest breasts.

This "I can't shake off the belief" thing, along with the fact you've had an unhealthy relationship with your body before, is what screams that the best course of action for you would be some therapy.

If you do have surgery, the chances that your physical insecurities would pop up again like whack-a-mole are really high. It might be about belly pooch, or eye wrinkles, or nose shape.

OP you are ENOUGH! Get some professional help to boost your own view of yourself & to really start believing that!!!

I would also say that a survey about detached body parts on a theoretical woman is not really realistic.

Either of sexual partners or for relationships.

A man could say he prefers ABC, then meet a woman whose overall look and overall vibe knocks him off his feet; it's unlikely he would then be rejecting her over a cup size difference. Especially given cup sizes could look different on different women/different frames etc.

My h would prefer ( he's usually very tactful but let it slip in a roundabout way ) a larger bust than I have ....but the overall picture was what he's attracted to and he liked my personality/vibe.

(As I said, while I find him handsome & attractive, he's also not my physical ideal in some ways. That's relationships, that's reality).

If you asked women what dick size they prefer, I'd be interested in the results . .. but I'd also imagine that when it came down to actual men re. their overall looks, their vibe, compatability, personality etc.; those size preferences would be pretty flexible for most women.

My point was that I want them to find me sexy.

I have small boobs (though bigger in certain circumstances - pill, hormone changes, weight etc.) and plenty of men have found me sexy.

You sound like you need to get some real life experience with some decent men, instead of listening to a pile of dysfunctional, malicious, mal adjusted keyboard warrior wankers online.

I also agree with other posters that, with a background of an ED, you need to be very careful about moving on to another disorder.

Op, John Cena didn't settle with Nikki Bella (real name Garcia) after 6 years and their engagement ended up broken; but settled with his now wife (significantly smaller bust than NB's) within 2 years.

He's famous, has a net worth of 80 million dollars and would be attractive to many women.

Jason Statham didn't settle with Kelly Brook but later settled with Rosie Huntingdon Whiteley - who has a very different body type and significantly smaller bust than KB.

He's famous, has a net worth of 140 million dollars and many women consider him attractive.

If men always prefer & choose C and D busts over B etc. - how come wealthy, attractive, high status men with endless options aren't doing that?

Well this is just fucking depressing!

Looking back as well the amount of times slim and slender was mentioned as well is in the context of a previous ED quite frightening

@ThisChic please please seek some professional help for this I really do think it is needed.

100% agree with this… after being together a long time I discovered that me and my (now) DH were not each other’s “ideals” physically! And yet we had amazing connection 🥰 After discovering his preference for larger bust sizes I did get a (small) enlargement a few years ago, but I had thought about it on and off over the years anyway, particularly post-kids! I am happy with results (DH delighted…) - I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to look your best for someone you love

@Tiswa has said exactly what I was thinking, @ThisChic. Before you undergo surgery, I really think you need to have therapy, to explore your feelings and make sure that this isn't another manifestation of anorexia or body dismorphic disorder. Maybe now you are maintaining a healthy weight, the unhealthy thoughts/feelings have latched onto your breast size instead of your weight.

Maybe, if you have therapy, you will find out that your thought patterns are healthy and not affected by BDD, and you will go ahead with the surgery - but if there is a possibility that your thoughts and feelings are NOT healthy, you should explore that before going under the knife.

No no no no.
Incels do not speak what all men think at all.
This mindset is very unhealthy darling.
May I suggest you have some therapy darling? It will help your self esteem and get rid of the negative thoughts

Your right Mr, will find you sexy and not just hmm ok whether you have big boobs or not

You’re right cup sizes aren’t static.

In the psychology study I mentioned the men rated computer simulated images of torsos, so the researchers used cup sizes to describe the image sizes.

I think you need to give serious consideration to the concerns that this is a mental health issue for you, OP. Your thought processes about this as being expressed here are not rational.

Oh I completely agree. But lots of men don’t even know what ´curvy’ is. It’s a shape not a size - you could have a curvy shape (in at waist, out at hips) at a size or at size 14. It’s just the in and out shape.

However some men who say they like ‘curvy’ and they are thinking of women like Kate Upton, Sydney Sweeney, Emily Ratakowski, who all have big boobs but a straight body, no hip flare at all. But these men think this is ‘curvy’ when it’s rectangle with large breasts. (I’m not body shaming that shape by the way, I’m just saying it isn’t really ´curvy’).

Basically I agree with you!

True

Unfortunately for me, this is largely true. As another big boobed friend of mine said, ' nice, professional men don't want to marry large breasted girls'

@ThisChic - given your history of anorexia, it does seem possible - maybe probable - that your feelings about your boobs/figure are being dictated by a disordered body image, so therapy to explore that, before undergoing surgery, would be a sensible idea.

@StrawberryDream24 What sort of bust size does your h prefer, purely out of interest? Did he mention a celebrity crush with larger boobs or something?

I know that obviously personality and vibes are important for relationships, and that people don’t reject others for one feature they might see as ‘less than ideal’.

Yet despite that, I’d still rather look hot, stunning all over to the men I date than having any kind of obvious flaw/physical shortcoming´. I don’t believe perfection exists, but some features are more important to men physically than others… like bust size is a bigger part of beauty of them than, say, nose size and shape. Men don’t scrutinise women’s’ nose shapes.