Wanting to look good and be a 10/10 girl? Men specifically?

[ThisChic]

People always criticise others for caring about their looks, but let's face it, we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best.

I feel as though most women can be seen as '10/10' if they have good hygiene and skin/make up, i.e the whitened teeth, hair extensions, glowy fake tan, slim and big breasts.

I feel like I have a few obvious flaws; small boobs is the main one, but also teeth and hair that could be 'glowed up'.

I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs. All different facial features, but heavily made up, thin and big boobs.

Am I being unreasonable to want to make myself look hotter by fixing my flaws?

I would make any decision for surgery for myself anyway, but I just wonder what peoples' thoughts are!

You're on a hiding to nothing thinking you'll be happy if you looked perfect. Those apparently perfect looking women on Instagram have problems too.

To look attractive to men? They’ll fuck anything, so don’t bother with too much effort 🤷🏻‍♀️

How old are you? I’m probably going to sound ancient, but honestly this kind of preoccupation with how you look does tend to fade with age. I’m not trying to be patronising. It’s genuinely freeing. I used to desperately want a rhinoplasty years ago and now I’m so glad I didn’t go ahead with it.

There’s a risk that one surgery can lead to another if the true issue with self worth hasn’t been resolved.

would some time off TikTok maybe help? I don’t think seeing other women, or yourself, as a score out of ten is healthy. That’s for immature men. You’re truly so much more than what you look like.

and I think so-called “flaws” make people look interesting! Everyone looks the bloody same now. It’s creepy.

having said that, it’s not “unreasonable” to get cosmetic surgery. I’d just be sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.

My thoughts would probably get me banned to be honest.

Are you new to Mumsnet or just at a loose end tonight?

Get off social media. It's making you unhappy.

Perhaps start by fixing your personality and then consider your looks.

And yes. Agreed. This is a very good point. Male validation is not a prize. They’ll fuck a hole in the wall. Or a couch, if you happen to be a certain vice president.

honestly we’re socialised to compete for male attention, but it’s really not worth it.

I’m a firm believer in if you’re not happy with something, change it.
I have had my breasts enlarged over a decade ago and used to get my lips filled (I’ve stopped lip filler now though due to pregnancy and breastfeeding, and tbh I don’t think I’ll go back to getting it done). I want invisible braces next to straighten my teeth

I don’t know why people get looked down on for making themselves feel more confident in their own skin. I don’t regret my breast augmentation at all!

I absolutely do not strive to look my best.

On occasion, I like to make an effort, but in day to day life I’ve got neither the time nor the inclination.

I also give precisely zero thought to what the menfolk think of that. The one who lives in my house can either deal with me in my comfies and hair up, or can get out. The rest, I care even less.

I look how I look, either like it or go away. Either way, not bothered!

Mmmm.. I’ve no hair ( thanks to chemo) one natural breast and one reconstructed breast. Both are wonky. How do I score OP??

Men will say whatever you want them to say. You have a vagina, you are already attractive to straight men depending on what else turns them on blonde/brunette/big/small etc. 10/10 is subjective. My wife doesn't wear make up and it wouldn't suit her. She's gorgeous, definitely 10/10. (I'm a woman, not a man). Anyone who feels they need to change their body to please someone else is never going to be happy with themselves. Only make an effort for yourself not for a man. Confidence is a turn on in itself. By turning yourself into a barbie doll you risk sending the message that your body and whether someone feels sexually attracted to you is more important than your personality. This makes you a target for being user then discarded.

Instagram has a lot to answer for.

If you think the most beautiful women are the ones with fake boobs, fake tan and hair extensions then you have an aesthetic taste alien to me and to many men. There are men who like this look. If that’s the kind of men you like then yeah. Do that stuff.

No it's not about thinking it will make me life perfect - I'm happy with other areas of my life. It's just about wanting to look good just because...if I can, with a bit of help, why not?

I didn't say necessarily fake boobs - some women are slim with naturally big ones. But I don't have those so I need some (natural looking) implants to look really beautiful, if that's how I want to look, and I do.

Are you single, OP?

@bettydavieseyes It's true that some men will use women, but those men will use women whatever they look like. Some men use women who they just think are 'ok' looking for an easy sh@g.

“I need some implants to look really beautiful” is quite a sad statement OP. Many women with small boobs are extremely beautiful.

As a woman with v large natural boobs, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be! I’ve had large boobs since puberty and it can be a killer on the back. Also finding clothes that fit and look good can be a nightmare. Fashion brands don’t tend to make clothes that lie well on a bigger chest.

I'm not the one who wants to rate women, some men are.

And I don't think you can 'rate' someone who has undergone physical changes due to cancer. Most women have somewhat wonky breasts after childbirth too.

I'm sure you are beautiful and I hope your recovery is going well. x

@ThisChic "I see that 95% of the women on TikTok on Instagram with 100 - 500k followers are just slim, tanned women with big boobs"

is this about your income?

do you spend much time offline?

“we all appreciate beauty and strive to look our best”

And then you go on to list a whole load of attributes - big tits, Turkey teeth, fake tan, hair extensions - that for many are the antithesis of beauty, an identikit blow-up doll version of female ‘perfection’ that’s defined by the male gaze, drag, porn and reality TV.

Considering small breasts a ‘flaw’ is so sad. By all means do whatever you need to do to feel happy, confident and like the best version of yourself, but checking off your face and body against a shopping list of plastic, man-pleasing modifications is more likely to empty your bank account than deliver the boost you’re after. As has already been said, if being attractive to men is the end goal, you’re already in possession of the only thing they really care about anyway.

@Fancycheese Annoying about fashion, but fashion is something women do for other women. Men don't care. Men care about who has a 'nice' body.

Bloody Nora OP!

I’ve got a long term autoimmune disease.

I feel absolutely shite most of the time. I’d just like to feel 10/10.

Don’t give a flying fuck about looking it!

I do however, have top class hygiene and not bad nashers. Will that do?

OP, try some therapy to work on your self-esteem.This is one of the most tragically self-loathing things I’ve read on here recently.

Because as you've proved with your post, there's always something else to "improve"! You're far better off learning to love yourself as you are, becoming comfortable in your own skin. Instead of wasting money surgically mutilating yourself and injecting shite into your body.