DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

Honestly OP you’ve got the wrong audience. Most people on MN are old enough that we grew up without social media and don’t subscribe to the idea that everything must be posted or it didn’t happen. (IMO we are all happier and mentally healthier as a result.)

A lovely thoughtful day and gifts sounds absolutely perfect. Don’t ruin it and make him feel like his efforts aren’t appreciated by whinging about the lack of an insta board.

You actually care about superficial crap like that? Give your head a shake

I'm actually astounded at how UR you are.
Christ Almighty!! He should have done nothing nice for you and just posted some shite on Instagram, then you'd be happy 🙄

christ on a bike what fecking age are you!

My sons are a similar age to the OP and would not give a shiny shit about their partner not posting on SM. Neither would my nieces

You definitely need to stop being so ridiculous. Your boyfriend gave you a lovely day in person and you ruined it over a stupid social media post. Whose benefit is that even for? You are being massively unreasonable and are acting like a 13 year old.

Oh, God, this is one of the most cringey things I’ve read on here. YABVU. I don’t know anyone who would care about this. Most people would actively not want it.

I’ll go against the grain & say if it’s important to you, then it wouldn’t have killed him to type a happy birthday post & tagged you in it.

Ask yourself WHY it’s important that he posts on his ‘insta grid.’ Why is THIS the validation you want? I am more than a decade older than you and DH doesn’t have any social media. I do, but would never ever post happy birthday to DH on it. I live with the man- why do I need to announce it to friends that I did something for him?

My kids are 28 & 30. They don’t do social media posts for their partners’ birthdays. What is the point of it when you’re sitting in the same room? It makes no sense, at all. I don’t do one for DH either. It’s a waste of time and effort imo and if he got arsey about it he’d get a telling off like a child because that’s how he’d be behaving.

Just grow up. SM isn’t the be all and end all.

I hope he sees the ginormous red flags waving in front of his eyes.

I’m embarrassed for you

I am really grateful for the day I had, and I know not everyone is big on socials. But my point is surely that if you know something is important to your partner, you can compromise sometimes?

Even one of my best friends messaged me last night to ask if everything was okay as DP hadnt acknowledged my birthday, and that’s really embarrassing.

Awful behaviour on your part - you'll need to work hard to claw this back - I'd be so embarrassed if I was you.

Is there something in the water today, what with this and the housekeeping post it's like the crazies have moved in

You are the one who should be embarrassed. Try leaving social media and live in the real world.

If he got you a present and planned something like dinner surely that's enough.

Or did you want him to make a big fuss for you to show your wee pals?

Grow up

You sound like a five year old you need to grow up.

But he DID acknowledge your birthday! In person, with nice things.
FFS 🙄

You are being ridiculous.

To which, of course, you replied ‘Of course he acknowledged my birthday - he planned a really special day for me and bought me these lovely presents.’ Why would you be embarrassed? He deserves someone who appreciates him for who he is and who will appreciate being spoiled on their birthday. Go find yourself someone who posts all day on ‘the socials’ (though I expect you’ll find that they’ll also spend more time worrying about their own image rather than your happiness…)

Why do you need it acknowledged on social media? It sounds like you had a lovely day. Who is it really for when it's posted online. You say it was important to you, but I would be thinking about why you feel like this. Is it that you want your friends to know what a catch he is? How much he adores you? If so, why is it not enough for him to show you this?
You sound v unreasonable.

This has to be a reverse.

Im late 20s, im into social media and I find these posts really cringe, sorry. If my partner who I absolutely adore and have been with for 5 years took issue with this I’d be reconsidering the relationship.