DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

We don't message about each others birthdays on SM either . It's all BS.

He obviously doesn't live his life through social media. He values spending time with you and making your day special in real life, in person.

Maybe you're just not compatible if you can't see and appreciate this.

Live Your life irl, not on sm. Also, as this guy seems nice, let him go. He’s likely to find someone less vacuous who will appreciate him.

This is fairly cringe. I think that after a certain age, the people that post excessively on social media about their level of love for one another generally are using social media as a front to make themselves feel better about things that aren't right in their relationships.

OP 'in this day and age' there are way too many mental health issues caused by this unnecessary (and unhealthy) 'need' to be constantly on social media. When you are as old as me (late 50s) you will realise that the important stuff is how you are treated in person, on your birthday and every day. Your boyfriend is probably rethinking this relationship as you appear incredibly shallow...

I’m delighted to hear there are people of your generation like your DP. Social media means nothing. To care that much about it is pretty pathetic.

This exactly?

Yeah this. On the rare occasions I see someone I know doing a gushing post about their partner online I usually wonder who their trying to convince, me or themselves!

Maybe he has grown up since then?

So he was thoughtful, generous and made your day special yet you decided to go in a huff because he didn't post on social media about it? Yeah good luck he's probably thinking he won't bother again for your reaction

Gushing social media posts scream of desperation and hiding a failing relationship.

Seriously who else even cares about seeing a bunch of photos of you, just because it’s your birthday? Those who are family/friends surely already know it’s your birthday. Why does anyone need to see your other half saying it publicly? Get a life.

Its naff as fuck when people put crappy birthday tributes on social media. I just cannot get on board with it. I feel embarrassed for them. What would it be for, so all your mates can see how much he loves you?!
Nah, it really is a duff act.

This

Does he know you stalk his social media past?

You sound like a young teen. SM isn't real. Poor guy, if that's how you show gratitude, it would be the last birthday I'd spend with you. Grow up and learn which things are actually important.

It’s right up there with wishing Aunty Pat a happy heavenly 117th birthday

I’d run from the hills from anyone who wanted me to post happy birthday on social media and went in a huff after I said no.

Happy 14th birthday 🎂

It’s shallow and performative. Sorry.

I think this is a sign you’ve found a good quality bloke but you’re going to have to shape up if you want to keep him!

Time to reflect and decide what you actually value. Real life or social media fakeness.

He does not want to 'advertise' you. This is clear as day. Which means at the moment he is not that into you. However you are mad to cause fuss - maybe he will grow into you and you will have the most fabulous life together - don't scare him off. Give him time.

This. You are being wildly unreasonable and childish.

It all sounds very immature. Also, he’s your boyfriend not partner

When it's my birthday or wedding anniversary, DH writes me a lovely card with a romantic message about how much I mean to him. It's so heartfelt. This is what I love, a private message from my husband to me. He would never, ever put it on Facebook. He'd be far too embarrassed and so would I!! And why would he? The message is for me his wife, not hundreds of people on the Internet.

@BrightLJ I would dump him 🤭😜. Only playing. I think this is really not a thing. Don’t live through social media - it’s dangerous and sets unrealistic expectations. My husband hasn’t once posted about me on social media and we have been together for a long time. Don’t let what other people do affect your relationship. Does he treat you well? That’s all that matters