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Original poster

DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

1000 replies

BrightLJ · 19/03/2025 16:26

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

OP posts:
Tangerinenets · 19/03/2025 16:31

Oh dear 😂

LavenderFields7 · 19/03/2025 16:32

Cringe. Boastbook is for teens who need validation.

DingDingRound3 · 19/03/2025 16:32

Really? You need a needy girlfriend if you’re after that kinda shite.

Tatemoderndrawyourown · 19/03/2025 16:32

This post is so sad. For your birthday I wish you a lifetime of real values.

Matsukaze · 19/03/2025 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WednesdaysChild25 · 19/03/2025 16:33

Are you serious 😂😂😂

madnessitellyou · 19/03/2025 16:34

Bless.

How old are you op? Even if you are 13, which is how old you sound, this is a non-issue.

Sounds like he gave you a nice birthday so get back to your homework and stay off instagram.

luckylavender · 19/03/2025 16:34

You seem a bit needy.

Ooral · 19/03/2025 16:34

Sorry OP, but you are bonkers, seems as though the grand show on social media is worth more than a day spent together at a venue that you wanted to visit....
If he has any sense, he would LTB.

chattyness · 19/03/2025 16:34

You had a lovely day together, like he said unless you were apart there was no need for all that.
Has he done any kind of loving special occasion post before ... like Christmas, Valentine etc If not then it's just the way he is - happily private!
If you're still together when his next birthday comes around do the same, just enjoy the day and leave social media out if it.

Original poster
BrightLJ · 19/03/2025 16:34

We’re both late 20’s and all my friends would post on their partners’ birthdays and vice versa.

He doesn’t post much but I thought given how much I said it would mean to me, he’d have done this as a one off..

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 19/03/2025 16:34

I think it says a lot about you that you care more about a social media post than you do about the real life effort he put in. You need to do some serious reflection and apologise to him.

TapeMyEyes · 19/03/2025 16:35

I think it may feel to OP that she isn't mentioned on his social media at all and this may be an issue if he posts about other things but she is not on there. Some men do hide their relationships like this.

On the other hand what he did for you in person was lovely. This again is about expectation. You expected him to do a post and he didn't. You need to talk to him about it.

Samesame47 · 19/03/2025 16:35

Strangest thing I have read all day. I have been with my husband 18 years and not once have either of us even contemplated posting a birthday message on social media. Sounds like he made an effort in real life. I’d see your behaviour as a serious red flag

FortyElephants · 19/03/2025 16:35

So childish I'm cringing for you

Alconleigh · 19/03/2025 16:35

Holy shit mate

StarStay · 19/03/2025 16:35

OP I feel the same as your partner about making social media posts about a partner, and even just making social media posts in general.

If a partner posted a big social media post about me on my birthday, I would inside cringe but outside try to be grateful and not bring it up to them.

If a partner insisted I did a big social media post for their birthday and get frosty with me because I hadn't, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to do it on social media, because that's not what I view social media for, and posts like that come across as massively fake to me.

Your partner spent your whole birthday doing loving things for you irl and you are hung up on this? I honestly think it's such a shame. They obviously really like you if they were willing to put a lot of thought into the gifts and the day's activities.

Your partner not making a social media post does not mean they don't actually genuinely care for you/like you. Do you feel like it does?

TapeMyEyes · 19/03/2025 16:36

Cross posted with your update. He is not a SM poster so you need to move on from it because he sounds lovely.

Original poster
BrightLJ · 19/03/2025 16:36

chattyness · 19/03/2025 16:34

You had a lovely day together, like he said unless you were apart there was no need for all that.
Has he done any kind of loving special occasion post before ... like Christmas, Valentine etc If not then it's just the way he is - happily private!
If you're still together when his next birthday comes around do the same, just enjoy the day and leave social media out if it.

He posted for an ex once a few years ago, it’s deleted since we met, which is probably why I thought he would have done similar for me.

OP posts:
PopGoesTheProsecco · 19/03/2025 16:36

he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

This unless you're 12.

Stressfordays · 19/03/2025 16:37

How cringe. He made your birthday special in person for goodness sake. That's all that matters.

OnlyHerefortheBiscuits · 19/03/2025 16:37

BrightLJ · 19/03/2025 16:34

We’re both late 20’s and all my friends would post on their partners’ birthdays and vice versa.

He doesn’t post much but I thought given how much I said it would mean to me, he’d have done this as a one off..

So you don't care that he wishes you happy birthday.

You care that other people see him wishing you happy birthday.

Got it. 😵‍💫

Dollshousedolly · 19/03/2025 16:37

If your boyfriend has any sense, he'll now run a mile. He planned a nice day for you, gave you gifts and you're sulking because he didn't make a big post on SM. You must be very insecure and needy that you need this validation.

And it's not actually a "minimum requirement in this day and age". It's not a requirement at all.

MotherJessAndKittens · 19/03/2025 16:38

DH doesnt do social media and I’m happy with that. I don’t think it’s worth falling out!

ThejoyofNC · 19/03/2025 16:38

BrightLJ · 19/03/2025 16:36

He posted for an ex once a few years ago, it’s deleted since we met, which is probably why I thought he would have done similar for me.

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You're just going to ignore everyone aren't you.

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