DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

He's told you it isn't something he'll ever do, so there's your answer. Don't give it any more thought.

Are you 12??!! He did lovely things for you and all you can worry about is whether he said Happy Birthday to you on FB 🙄 Get a grip.

I bet you’re one of those annoying people who take pictures of literally everything just to prove that you were there having fun.

Word to the wise, no-one cares.

A social media post about your birthday would be performative nonsense. You say yourself he made the day special. You just want to show off on SM.

No, it's not a normal expectation, much less minimum.

Sheesh.🙄

Seriously?

I think you're going to have to accept that some people just aren't that into SM

It probably never entered his head to post on SM. Good on him for not bowing down to your command to do this.

I can’t say a partner has ever done this for me, nor me for them, and I certainly would not consider it any kind of requirement.

Gushing social media posts are so cringey. Seriously, you’re an adult.

Sorry, why does he need to say ‘Happy Birthday’ to you on social media when he can literally turn round & say it to you in person??!! That’s crazy priorities!!!

Why do you need his validation on SM so desperately?? You can't coerce or force him to be something he isn't.

He maybe learned his lesson there then, once bitten twice shy, accept it and move forward with your relationship. Real life is so much more important than social media, actions speak louder than words as they say.
Put it behind you, it really doesn't matter what your friends are doing.

"I bet you’re one of those annoying people who take pictures of literally everything just to prove that you were there having fun."

This has gotten so common where I live. You can't be out and about or sitting having a coffee with friends without people taking pictures. I really dislike it.

Is this the real issue? your friends posting about their partners birthdays and their partners having their arms twisted to post on their birthday. Do you see it as a scent marking territory act to have an over the top hearts and google eyes post on your birthday.

Poor man, he not only has to win your approval but to REALLY show his love he has to prove himself as a worthy suitor in front of your friends as well.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Oh god!!! Mental.

^ This! 😂

The fact you know he posted for an ex a few years ago but it was deleted when you met just shows that you have an unhealthy relationship of social media.

Maybe he posted as they were apart on the day?

My DH did this for me year after year. He still left me so it's meaningless.

No wonder he made his excuses and left!

Yeah.... erm, its quite childish really to want to show off

So you ruined a lovely day that he put loads of effort into, because you wanted a cringe-fest of a social media post? Why?

They're painful to read. Also not even a sign of anything..I know one woman who gushes away in hers, and in reality she and her husband are at each other's throats. It's embarrassing. You're an adult. Why is it so important to you? Why do you need other people to see him making an effort/saying nice things? Why did you scroll so far back that you saw he'd posted for an ex? Did you make him delete it?

Whole thing reeks of pettiness and immaturity. I'd run a mile in his shoes.

I actually guffawed at that 😂😂😂

This

your not listening

Are you 12?

So he went to a lot of effort to give you a lovely birthday and you're frosty and upset with him?? If I was him, I'd be rethinking the relationship.
Honestly I always cringe when people put romantic messages on Facebook for their partners. It's so embarrassing, attention seeking and public. Just tell them to their face!