DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

It sounds like you care more about what other people think about your relationship than your actual relationship. Which is why I tend to think people who post things like this are those who are least content in their relationship in real life.

How sad that the lack of a performative, shallow, public ‘statement’ to a load of people he could care less about, is deemed to be more important that the actual relationship, of time spent together, of gifts bought, of love shown in person. I worry for our young if this is how you navigate intimacy and meaningful connection. Most women of my age are grateful for birthday gifts, loyalty, fidelity and our partners being there for our kids and ourselves in times of real crisis.

I could, frankly, give a flying fuck if my DH ever told another soul that it was my birthday let alone posted on Linked-In or social media. I care about the fact he is present in our relationship, our family life and that he loves me enough to still be with me after 33 years.

Am astounded by this thread…

Personally, I think those who do this are trying WAY too hard for the "public approval" of their relationship.

I cringe every time I see something like this.

What is important here is what has happened in real life. You have shown by your frosty attitude that what he did for you was not enough. You are very ungrateful and I'm not surprised he went home. Your life should not be led by what is shown on social media.

Why would your (old enough to know better) colleague be trawling through your boyfriend’s social media account from. 3 years ago. Sorry but this story gets more and more controlling and off the more I read.

Christ alive, poor bloke. The lovely thoughtful day he planned for you isn't good enough because he didn't put a cringeworthy Insta post up so you feel validated. So shallow. I hope he's reconsidering things....

Child.

Even one of my best friends messaged me last night to ask if everything was okay as DP hadnt acknowledged my birthday, and that’s really embarrassing.

Yeah it is really embarrassing that your friends are so addicted to social media they're trawling through posts to bring this kind of asinine, childish shit up.

This sort of needy nonsense would be a red flag if I were him.
Grow up!

He did acknowledge your birthday ,,, where it mattered . You wouldn’t be happy if he had posted and do nothing else .
He into social media. Either be happy with what you have or find a different guy that will post you everywhere.

Why is the post he put up for his ex deleted.

This is just the sort of thing that started the decline of Egypt.

Ramses III failed to get any decent hieroglyphics from his political advisors on his birthday, which led to increased fractions between them and ... well, we all know what happened next. 😳

It was my husbands 50th last week I failed to do the social media for other people fawning too. Obviously don't care about him either.

Is this really how younger people live their lives? Nothing better to worry about in this difficult world we live in........jeez

What’s the link here to tattle?

What can you say 🤷‍♀️ Living your life through social media is never going to end well.
I think there’s every possibility you’re going to be the ex girlfriend if you don’t grow up.

You are being very unreasonable. He made a huge effort for your birthday and you are still expecting more. You sound very young and entitled.

I think your analogy will be lost on the OP.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles 😂

I've been with DH going on 16 years...very happy marriage, with a scattering of problems and issues along the way as typical; we make huge effort to celebrate birthdays (some haven't allowed huge effort due to finances!) for each other: token gifts, lay ins bla bla bla

Bar a couple "thought you'd like it" in the early days, he nor I have posted nor seen emotional importance posting online. Now if he refused to acknowledge me on my birthday or HID the fact he celebrated with me or put more emphasis on a friend/family members birthday, then we might have issues 😆

You're being unreasonable (unless a background of other issues) and just ride the rosey-waves for a bit longer.

My DH won't even be friends with me on FB. He says there's no need as we live in the same house and actually talk to each other. He has a point 😂

You did 'a big post on Insta Grid' etc 😂

Surely, in person is more special, or is it about everybody else seeing it, rather than in person genuine.

Gosh he made the day really special and all you’re worried about is posting it?

Grow up

Social media is not 'social.' It's a way of mining our personal data. Look up 'social media addiction'. The OP's original and subsequent posts tick may of the boxes that indicate the OP has a problem. And quite a few others, judging by their subsequent posts.

You sound very immature! I can't believe for one minute, your boyfriend is happy about you sulking like a toddler because you didn't get your own way.
Do you really need validation in the form of likes etc on social media? Your boyfriend planned things for you in the 'real' world and you're complaining because he didn't acknowledge your birthday on social media? Wow!
I hope, if you ever marry, or go on to have children, that you learn that there is more to life than marking occasions online. Life is for living - enjoy the moment, stop worrying about what a few people on your social media think.

Half the people who post soppy updates online are only trying to mask that their life isn't that great, to be honest. Those people who go on about their happy marriages/relationships and their wonderful lives are really just trying to make out their life is perfect when, in reality, it's not at all.

I don’t think people who are into their “socials” realise quite how horrific the whole concept is for those of us who aren’t.

I find the whole concept of these public displays stomach-churning and I absolutely cannot bear it when anyone posts a picture or mention or anything to do with me online.