DP refuses to acknowledge my birthday on social media

[BrightLJ]

It was my birthday yesterday - me and my DP officially got together around this time last year so this was the first birthday he was properly ‘with’ me for for.

He made the day really special, thoughtful presents, a nice day out with a lunch somewhere I have always wanted to go to.

For DP’s birthday a few months ago I did a big post on my insta grid, with photos of us and a loving caption.

I thought DP would have done the same for
me yesterday. It got to early evening and I still
hadn’t been tagged by him or noticed anything on his profile so I asked him if he was planning on doing this.

He said no, that he has wished me happy birthday in person and that he didn’t see the point in posting something publicly when he’d spent all day with me. I said it would mean a lot to me if he did but he again said no and that he isn’t really a social media type of person and always felt these sort of posts were unnecessary unless the two people were apart.

I was admittedly a bit frosty with him after this and the evening didn’t really go as planned, he was meant to stay over at mine but said he wasn’t feeling great and went home.

I’ve messaged him today to say I was a bit hurt by him not posting and that it felt as though he wasn’t proud of us. He’s basically replied to say again he’s not that type of man and it isn’t something he will ever do.

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

Am I unreasonable to ask for this, it’s a minimum expectation in this day and age surely?

No. No, it is not. I couldn’t/wouldn’t be with anyone who held that expectation. Seems very childish if you are over the age of 16yo.

I think I’m going to just tell him to delete insta then it will avoid the hassle next year

Thought it couldn’t get more batshit. It’s not normal for people of your age at all, you’ve just surrounded yourself with likeminded folk, or just want to hear opinions from likeminded folk. I’ve got kids your age, thankfully not normal for them in general although one has fallen prey to this claptrap. If they winged about a partner like this though, I’d be hoping the partner ran for the hills, rather than giving in and indulging in something so batshit. If they did I wouldn’t have a high opinion of them in the future as I looked at them across the dinner occasion at times they are there.

Pmsl. That is all 🤣🤣🤣🤣

If my partner sulked about me not posting on social media for his birthday after I’d gone to lengths to make the actual (not virtual) day special, assuming I stayed with him (which tbh is doubtful) next year I’d do fuck all for him apart from acknowledge his birthday on social media.

Personally acknowledging partners’ birthdays on social media is cringe as fuck. But hey if it saved me a fortune in presents and meals and so on the person didn’t want then what the hell 😂

Wow, someone's got a high opinion of themself!!

Have you got some kind of split personality disorder? You're immature enough to be bothered about social media but will be mollified by gifts for aged aunts?

You sound like a narcissist who craves attention. Your DP did a lovely thing for you for your birthday yet all you can focus on is how he didn't splash it all on social media for everyone to see. You need to take a long look at yourself.

Whether he's punching or not, your insecurities about a social media post will become quite ugly.

But...if he did it for his ex then I can see why you are a bit pissed off about it. Maybe you think he doesn't want his ex to see him with you as he may still have feelings for her or her for him. It obviously didn't make any difference to the relationship though did it as they split up. So maybe he just can't be arsed with it all.

My ex husband used to do nothing at all about my birthdays - no gift, nothing.

I get that social media has a stranglehold on us, but it is controlling and unkind to sulk with someone because they don’t want to put performative posts on SM. The fact that they don’t is a great sign to be honest!

I hope he comes to his senses soon and dumps your ass. You sound like a spoilt child. Fact is he will only be doing it to keep you happy so all your friends can see how much he loves and values you. Read the message safe in the knowledge he is only doing it to stop your childish sulking. Hopefully by next year he’s either deleted social media or deleted you from his life. Spoilt little madam springs to mine.

I really hope this thread (if real) goes in the mail and he sees it. Or one of your "friends" shows him it. Cos they seem that nice.

I think this must be fake. Either that or the OP has watched too much TOWIE.

This relationship sounds so superficial. I felt sorry for the guy until he replied, apologising, although that shows he’s decent enough to give a shit that his gf is upset by his awful, awful behaviour of not caring about social media.

From the posts you’ve made it’s clear you believe you should be on a pedestal. Why are you with him? Bc you genuinely love him or does that love depend entirely on how he measures up against your mates’ bf’s and the amount of effort he puts in to keeping you happy? Just bc you have a vulva it doesn’t make you the most important person in your relationship.

Would you tolerate him speaking about you the same way you are on here? Joking you’ll tell him to delete his SM bc he’s not using it appropriately, even tho you said he puts stuff about him going to football, so he clearly does want to use it, and talking about your ‘demands’ of men, like being treated like a princess is a woman’s god-given right.

You’re so disrespectful, entitled and ungrateful. It’s great that you have a strong self-image but you’re taking it to the extreme and putting your needs before his, expecting him to apologise for not providing you with a ‘perfect birthday’ and asking whether to keep him dangling on the hook despite him giving you the apology you wanted - in spite of all the actual effort he put in. It sounds like he was trying to take a stand against your bullying and has had a change of heart due to your guilt-tripping. I’m sure he will regret it.

Make the most of your youth and looks now. There are a lot of women in the same boat as you. Botox and fillers are easy to get hold of if you choose to when the time comes but their effects don’t last forever before you’re left looking bloated and freakish from over-use, and recent evidence shows they do actually stay in your body and can migrate. Look at the increasing number of celebs who regret getting it done.

You need to look at what’s important in life and value it, and recognise decent men when they come along or they will drop you if the only reason they’re with you is the way you look and not how you treat them.

Personally, I don't see the point in him doing a post if he's with you in person. If you were spending the day apart then maybe. My DH is also someone who wouldn't bother posting a picture collage on social media, you get used to it it's not that much of a big deal.

OP is definitely pulling our leg.

I feel sad for your boyfriend. He made a special effort and all you can do is moan about not posting on social media. You also mentioned he is punching. He sounds like a decent person who is trying their best. You seem controlling and disrespectful.

100%

OP Im 26 and I really don't understand this mentality. And flowers and chocolates to "make up" for not posting you? Any of his future posts about you may likely be "shut up posts" so you don't moan about it

Been with mine 15 years, he has never made a fuss out of me on social media.

Why? Because he doesn’t use it, nothing would make my fanny close faster than a grown man using social media 🤢

Yabu and very immature.

Is this yet another post that’s not real?

Honestly OP, I get that social media plays a part in people’s lives, but if I suggested to my husband that despite all he’d done for me on the day, that I was upset because he’d not posted on social media he’d think I was batshit (& a bit selfish). Do you really need Instagram to validate your relationship?, he may have posted a previous GF 2/3 years ago, but 2/3 years ago is a long time, he’s (hopefully) grown up a bit since then and realised what you do in person is way more important. I wish a few more people were like him.

How old are you? I think it’s really cringe when grown adults post stuff like this on social media. Especially if they have been with each other all day, it’s like whoever writes the post is trying to show off. Isn’t Facebook mainly used by the older generation nowadays? I’d get off social media, why are you so concerned about what your ‘followers’ see? Sounds like you are very different people.

You sound incredibly insecure, and really bitter and controlling.

I feel sorry for the pair of you.

Please listen to people on here. This isn’t a healthy way to view a relationship. You actually sound too emotionally immature to be in an adult relationship and could probably do with some therapy and deleting all your social media accounts.

It’s really concerning behaviour from you. Please seek help and try and start living in the real world. Your brain will rot if you stay this obsessed with social media.

I fear for the future of children who will think this behaviour is normal.

Wow. Just wow.

OP, send him a note folded so it can be flipped. Inside, write "Do you love me?" Please circle Yes or No, and have him slip it back to you at lunch after he fills it out.
This is what all cool middle school kids do. 🙄

He’s a lucky man eh? 👀

If this is real, ‘main character syndrome’ springs to mind. A wonderful side effect of too much time spent on SM, too early on. I’m starting to feel really sad about the potential futures of people like the OP (and their partners and anyone else who’s expected to bow and scrape for them).

He’s just not that in to you. He probably said he will in future because he knows he probably won’t be with you this time next year. Ok I know my post seems mean but you are being controlling and childish. Please seriously give some thought as to how you’re looking at this or you will lose him. Was asking him to delete his Instagram a joke?