I know his secret… thread 2

[Waffletots]

Hi everyone

I’ve been told to create a second thread as the first one is full https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5226374-i-know-his-secret-but-how-do-i-play-this?page=1

I am off to see my parents this morning and will update later.
Thank you so much for all of your support, looks like I’m going to need it!

Quite.

He’s shown no remorse, no emotion, no concern for you at all? He’s as old hearted as you can get! And he pretends to be thinking about the children!

Then report it, you tit, don't troll hunt.

Another one coming to comment on his lack of apology. Galling that he is expecting you to just move forwards immediately 'for the sake of the kids' with absolutely no apology, no questions about your welfare and no indication of how he was thinking of his children when he was having a relationship with another woman. He must of known that potential for upset to the children should it come out.
Complete lack of effort on his part which almost indicates that he's not really interested in patching up but feels like he should say something.
I'm furious for you.

Can we move on?

You what! He is beyond a cunt.

I'm so sorry for the fact that he was such a sly bastard for being able to let you think he was such a good husband.

He is going to pay dearly for the fact he thought he had you believe it. You are crashing his world by being the wonderful woman you are! He's now eating the shit he dished out.

Keep focused and don't let him bs you when you eventually have to speak.

You are amazing OP.

Oh @Waffletots how dare he? He KNOWS you won’t agree to that; no way does he think you will. But he can tell everyone else ‘he was willing to try for the sake of the kids but she wasn’t’ blooming hypocrite. You can always say something like ‘the trust is gone for me because of his betrayal and pretending everything is ok would be impossible to keep up and the kids would know and be less secure as a result’.

Excellent, somebody got to it before I did! Well done that poster!

If you do intend on replying, I would wait 24 hours.

and i know one other poster mentioned it, baby may now come before baby is due - because babies do these things and you have had a shock / are in shock / stressed / upset.

Your parents are brilliant as is your brother and sister in law.

I think MN actually needs to look into your troll hunting.

You could reply "trust me, I will be putting you behind me for the sake of the children".

He didn't even have the decency to say sorry. He absolutely does not deserve you all, I have no advice it sounds like you have it covered 💐

I'm stunned that he had nothing else to say other than can we get past this for the children. No sorry, nothing of any use.

Report it if you feel like that, but what a shit thing to put on this thread. You are deeply unpleasant. For the record, when this happened to me, one of the first things I did was start a thread here because I was desperate for help. Some of those women have become my tribe and we have been close friends for 11 years. Go and read another thread if you don't like it. We are here to support OP.

My reply would be along the lines of 'I am thinking of the children, they don't deserve to be treated like that'

This.

Where is the concern for you and your soon to be born baby?

"Can we get past this?!"

Well at least he's not denying it I guess....

Im not really sure what delusional world are you living in trying to say a cheating husband might be innocent with the proof the OW has sent but
I hope life rips you a new arse hole soon enough for gaslighting a pregnant woman that's about to birth a child and found out her husband had full on affair, not even one off, right before christmas.

@Waffletots if you want to, you can ask @MNHQ to move your thread over to the relationships board.

Ignore the posters who are spouting a load of old tosh - you'll hear enough of that from your husband!

I’ve read both threads - this is the most scumbag thing I have ever read. A poster up-thread questioned the authenticity of the post as it is so terrible. I hope you lean on everyone around you for the support you need. I am honestly lost for words, you have been completely wronged. So sorry

Well done, you are being so composed. As you say staying calm for the children is the best thing. So glad you have such excellent support from your family. There will be a time to mourn what you had hoped for with him I suppose, but sure you know you deserve so much better than this utter low life.

This.

No apology, no explanation, no concern for your welfare or your unborn baby's welfare, or your child @Waffletots.

It's shocking. You must be just devastated. My heart goes out to you, it really does.

Maybe him turning out to be such a totally cold-hearted cunt will in the end make this a tiny bit easier for you x

He's a twat. Save that last message to send to his mistress if he moves in with her - I assume however he's been speaking with her today and she's also well put off him which is why he's asking.

He was expecting a pick me dance. Don't give it to him.

"Getting past what? The fact that you're incapable of keeping your dick out of other women? Or the fact that by fucking other women you risked getting an STI you would have passed to me and the damage that would have caused to our unborn baby? The baby you wanted and planned.

You can fuck off as hard as you apparently fucked her and then some."

You deserve so so much more. Sending strength and love OP. Your children will be proud of you 🩷

I know right. He sounds like a textbook narcissist. He is pathetic.

OP you come across as so brave and stoic. You are handling this flawlessly and your kids are so lucky to have such a strong and resilient Mum.
I am thinking of you and wishing you all the best x

Wow! Get past it for the children. So basically let's brush this nonsense under the carpet and carry on like nothings happened until I cheat again - and he will trust me. He's shown you absolutely no compassion whatsoever which speaks volumes!! He should have thought about the children and his wife before he stuck his dick in someone else.. 🤨 hold on tight to that support network around you, he deserves nothing from you right now. Be prepared for the nasty streak to start when it doesn't quite go as planned .. hugs xx

Good Lord, what a total idiot he is - that question is all he can muster! This tells you everything and I admire your fortitude in such difficult circumstances, how dare your husband even consider that you would forego your values (and self respect) ‘for the children’. The best thing you can do for your children is to be the strong and wonderful woman you are, setting a stellar example of dignity and moral compass. Your children will be so proud of you one day. All these strangers on the internet are proud of you now.

You are an absolute warrior OP, you’ve got this. He will rue the day he lost you, and the thousands of decisions he made to choose OW over his precious family. I just know you will thrive without him. He is not worth the dirt on your shoes.