I know his secret but how do I play this?

[Waffletots]

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

Ugh. Is there any way you can message her and ask for a phone call while he's at work?

I think he was putting ideas in your head about her being the office flirt, so that when he was found out he could blame her.

Oh OP I’m so sorry how awful, especially while pregnant.

I can’t imagine she’d be lying to be honest, she has no reason to lie, and I’d imagine if they’ve been sleeping together for the last year then she will have some form of proof even if that is texts arranging to meet for example.

It would be time to leave for me.

Pay it no mind. Don’t give her the satisfaction of reacting.

do you believe her.

What do you mean, "pay it no mind"? The OP should take no notice?

Has your husband had the opportunity to see her outside of work time? Do you have shared bank accounts?

I'd try and get a bit more off her if you can. It's very unlikely it's untrue but you need to hear the extent of it. From her side.
Is it a deal breaker for your relationship? I'd imagine it would be for many people, but it's about you. Get more of her side then confront him. He may try and deny it, say she leaped on him etc. but a year is a long time.
I hope you have the means to get out or kick him out if you need to, and plenty of family/ friend support x

lol yeah that’s definitely an option 😂

phone her and get more info if you can then take it from there

@MounjaroUser yea, exactly that until she establishes the facts and what she wants to do. Easy to be reactionary

I'm sorry OP but I think you are clutching at straws if you are trying to convince yourself this isn't true.
Him saying she is the office flirt was obviously him getting a story ready in case anyone talked to you about their behaviour together.
I think you need to assume this is true and you need to talk to him.
If you are pregnant and he has been having sex with this woman and you then he has out your unborn baby at risk.
So horrible for you to have to deal with this.

Any proof, I know someone who felt spurned by a colleague who didn't want an affair with her who did this to his wife. For some reason she thought he'd run to her for comfort 🙄

I don't know how common that is though, I think not much but people do strange things

Honestly I'd be asking her for proof before you confront your husband

The first thing I would do is contact her back "Give me proof" and see what she says

Well, maybe it's true and she does feel bad

Maybe it's true and she wants you to split with him so she can have him

Maybe it's untrue and she is shit stirring

But weirdly... how on earth did she get your number?

We have a joint account for the mortgage and bills but our own accounts for everything else.
Yes there would have been plenty of opportunities, there’s been so many “work trips” and “it’s a work thing….” Oh God have I been really stupid and missed things? I’m doubting myself now, I am truly dreading 6pm!!!

Show him the message and watch his reaction?

As you will have a baby soon, I wouldn’t say anything if it feels like an option emotionally. Extract all that is useful from him in terms of help and break up with him once you can get by on your own.
Obviously if he is useless dump him now.

I have my own business telephone number which I use via whatssap, it’s easily accessible if you know my name (we obviously have the same surname) I can only assume through that? I haven’t messaged back… someone above asked if I could call her for a chat but I just don’t think I could stomach it, I’m being a wimp I know but part of me just doesn’t want to know.

Many years ago I dated a horrible fuckboy who other women deemed attractive.

The amount of texts and Facebook messages I received telling me what he's been up to with them but do you know the funny thing? The messages seemed more centred on upsetting me as his significant other than anything else.

I left him when I caught him in bed with an unremarkable woman

How horrible, I am so sorry you are going through this. I think when he gets in you should wait until you can clearly see his face and then just say 'X text me today' and look to see what his face does. He won't be able to hide it, especially if it is that out of the blue for her to contact you.

Can you give her a call OP? Or text and ask if you can have some proof. I can't see why the woman would lie, and she will have definite proof of it's been going on for a year!

Handhold OP

Maybe ask her for some screenshots

what kind of proof exactly, think she’s recording calls and filming them having sex.

i don’t get it, the advice on here is tell the wife. When someone does, even identifying themselves , it’s apparently she’s lying.

someone even said she’s trying to split you up so she can have him. Has that ever worked in the history of the world. Some random texts the wife. Splits them up and what he runs into the sunset with her.

What proof??

Why would she lie?