I know his secret but how do I play this?

[Waffletots]

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

Don’t beat yourself up for being a decent, trusting person none of this is your fault.

What sort of lowlife does this to a woman who is 38 weeks pregnant and says "she feels bad". I'm so sorry OP, my ex husband left for his affair partner when our son was 2. It's a horrific shock. I agree that you should send your child to grandparents for the night and then you will have to ask him. I wouldn't be engaging with her at all. She's vile.

Thank you, I’m trying to remind myself to keep breathing to stay calm as I can, I feel so bad knowing the baby can feel this stress the poor thing! My little one is thankfully going to my parents tonight, they don’t live far so will he here soon

If he has a tablet or computer at home something may be synced there

I agree with this. If she’s willing to risk texting you she may also have told him that she has.

@Waffletots before you do anything drastic, have you confirmed that this woman both exists and is an employee of the company your husband works for. These are very basic facts to check.

First thing when he comes home ask him for his phone immediately. If he refuses to hand it over you have your answer.

If there's nothing incriminating on the phone ring the OW on loudspeaker and ask her to explain the affair and send proof.

Then tell him to F Off!

Don’t feel bad. The only one responsible for baby feeling this is DH.

Obviously the DH and OW are lowlife, but from the OP I think OW had no idea OP was pregnant. How could she be when she “doesn’t understand “ her DH and “we never have sex any more…”

She found out OP is pregnant and has gone for the nuclear option.

I’m so sorry you are going through this OP. It’s not your fault for not realising, it’s his for being a dick. Hope you get the answers you need and more fool him for ruining his life for a bit on the side.

I think you should see it as to be true. Why on earth would she admit this otherwise?? I actually think she did this to force his hand so he would leave you**
Get your ducks in a row, as you will be stronger once your baby is here and will really know what to do (and what YOU really want) to the lying cheating bastard. You will get your anger once baby is here, but you ,may want the support now

**I have been in your situation, so I know.

If you ask him, and he admits it/you can tell it's true, I would literally tell him to go get his things and walk out the door.
There is never any clarity as to why/how could he, not matter how many questions you ask. He'll beg and apologise, and you don't need that stress.

You cannot proceed with only a text to go on, which anyone could have sent. Text back and insist on a phone call. Best wishes.

Sorry, my post was meant to quote a previous poster who questioned whether he may already know that you’ve been told.

Sorry I meant mine too, as in we own it jointly.

I've told this story on here many times due to the proliferation of men who do this. I was once unwittingly the OW op: I won't go into loads of detail but I will say it usually follows a textbook pattern and he will probably do the following:

Outright deny and call her a nutter, slag, nympho who's obsessed with him
Lie, omit and minimise
Eventually (depending on how hard you push/whether you confront him with evidence) admit to "kissing" her but nothing more, if forced to ad it to sleeping with her but "just the once"
Tell you it meant nothing, that's she's nothing to him
Blame you and your lack of I Teresa in sex/preoccupation with the dc's etc.

All the while hell have been telling the ow his marriage was over, that you haven't slept together for years, that you're cold and have MH problem. Hell have been lovebombing the Ow and promising the world her, possibly showering her with compliments and attention and future faking.

My affair partner told me his marriage was over and they were living as roommates until she found somewhere else to live. He even took me to his house and introduced me to his colleagues/friends. When his wife found out (someone informed her and she went through his phone) he did all the above despite texting me on the day she found out telling me he loved me etc. I later found out he'd complete,y throw. Me under the bus and told nothing but lies about what actually happened. I was gobsmacked.

Dhances are hell want to stay with you, hell not want divorce and the financial implications of that but you'll have to ask yourself - do you still want him?

Sorry OP :( given your 38 weeks I would be telling your mum, askimg him to leave, and focusing on the next few weeks. What a scumbag.

How utterly awful. I'd be tempted to message him and say no point in coming home tonight or ever.

Is there a laptop or tablet at home that could have evidence? Eg Google maps, accounts, emails.

It's a worry he doesn't leave his phone around. If he won't let you see his WhatsApp immediately, you have the answer.

Sorry you're going through this (and at 38 weeks pregnant)

So sorry OP.

Put yourself, your child and unborn baby first now. Lean on your family and friends.

He’ll be the one who loses everything and ends up sad and lonely.

Be prepared for The Script.

You sound like a strong woman. You will get through this and he will be the loser. 💐

Yes I’ve done as a previous poster suggested and checked linked in and the company website. I had heard my husband mention her a few times.

Gather all the evidence first, if I was you

All of this. It's called "The Script" and happens to every single one of us who find ourselves with an adulterous husband.

He has a laptop and a tablet but I can’t see either of them at home, assume he’s taken them both with him although I don’t know why he would need to take an iPad to work and a laptop!