I know his secret but how do I play this?

[Waffletots]

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

I dunno? Sperm I guess? Seems a weird thing to ask for

When you tell him I would just say that you have found him out.... rather than xxx or yyy told me.
(As by saying the person's name he could respond by saying "but that's Xxx -- the office flirt, I told you all about her. She came on to me a while ago and i turned her down!"

Texts of him arranging to meet her in hotels or outside work, receipts of gifts/lingerie, messages from him saying he fancies/loves her etc. if it's been going on a year there'll be plenty...

God why would she lie?! I hadn’t thought of it like that, I know that sounds stupid. My husband is a manager, I don’t know this woman’s position but I’m guessing unless she’s a manager too or higher, this could hurt her career if she is lying? I’m going to have to message her aren’t I and ask if she has any evidence?! My heart is pounding.

Seriously mate you’ve been watching too much telly. What you think he buys her stuff and gives her the receipt. With his card details on it. Or that he’s absolutely been texting and they’ve kept them. Highly likely no evidence,

the woman even identified herself for goodness sake.

Screen shots ?
Times and dates of their meetings?
Things an affair partner would know.

Ask if you can meet up with her at the work entrance tomorrow...

Yea. Ask for evidence. Times when he wasn’t working but at a work do/had to stay late, something like that,

Screen shots of what’? There maybe texts there may not be. And times and dates od meetings mean nothing,

Send him a link to the sing She Knows

But how does that prove it true or not.

I’m inclined to agree with this. You need to think about what you need to give birth, recover and look after yourself and possibly a massive fallout from an affair isn’t it. Not because you should be nice to him or stay but like the pp says extract what is useful.

Yes ask her for more information but equally I see zero issue with confronting him after work. Confronting isn’t the same as accusing. Someone known to him, who he has mentioned before, has told you she’s been sleeping with him. It’s not irrational for you to subsequently confront him about that. His reaction will tell you everything anyway.

I can’t risk this, people would recognise me, plus I’m the size of a bloody house so not exactly inconspicuous! And what if she really is a woman scorned? I don’t think I’m confident enough to do this face to face, I don’t think I can even with my husband. I’m a wreck right now.

I've been where you are although not pregnant so a bit easier, then again a week after our wedding so not without pain. She was telling the truth, he admitted it as soon as I confronted him. I stupidly stayed with him for nearly 13 years, God only knows why.

I hope she's lying but I think you need to prepare yourself for the worst.

I would imagine she'd have texts, WhatsApp chats and possibly photos of them both.

Awful situation.

This could be malicious. I would be very careful about engaging with her or asking for proof. Don't trust her motives. She is jealous and threatened by your pregnancy. She deserves nothing more than a stony wall of silence.

Focus on your dh instead.

Tale as old as time.

Undoubtedly he’s been telling her your marriage is dead, he’s only staying for his child, he’ll leave you but he needs time, you don’t even have sex any more.

Then suddenly m, she finds out you’re pregnant and the scales dropped from her eyes.

I’m sorry your husband turned out to be a cunt.

They've been having an affair for a year, do you honestly believe that there aren't texts between them?
Times and dates of course mean something, he says he's at a work meeting when he's in the local hotel with this woman.

Oh God, this sounds like what’s happened doesn’t it? I feel sick.

Oh you poor love, what an awful thing to be presented with. Do you it think you need to find out one way or the other? I mean your head isn't going to settle until you know. I feel so bad for you. But honestly I feel there could be some truth in it, no reason for her to make it up. Men (some) are horrible people

Well in my case she knew he was getting married so could hardly think the marriage was dead when she slept with him the night before the wedding in my new bed. People are strange and it can be hard to work out what is going through their minds.

You need proof. For your own sanity, not because you can't talk to him without it. Either you ask her for it, or you get his phone the second he comes through the door.
So sorry you're having to deal with this.

Ask her to send evidence - screenshots of texts, dick pics etc. she WILL have something. He might delete everything but there is no way the other woman won’t have a stack of ammunition.

It’s far more likely that this woman is telling the truth than lying to you. If she didn’t know that you’re having a baby soon, she’s probably furious with him for saying that you don’t sleep together or whatever other rubbish he’s told her.