Page 34 | I know his secret but how do I play this?

Waffletots · 2024-12-08T14:53:59+00:00

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way. Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But **** has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time. Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it. What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

haje · 08/12/2024 20:39

@Waffletots1

There is not a great deal i can add here other than a handhold.

What I will say is bloody well done you. And I mean that.

I'm coming out the other end of supporting my wonderful sister in this. And one year on she is at this stage. Everyone is different and I respect that but watching her break and put him before those beautiful children has been extremely traumatic.

You take that family support and you do this with people who love, adore and respect you.

Cactusprick · 08/12/2024 20:40

Waffletots · 08/12/2024 17:17

Thanks everyone for all of your input, a few minutes after she sent the last message she did indeed send (a lot) of screenshots including messages from an app I don’t recognise, emails, many selfies of them in various places and a few of them they look like they’re lying down in bed looking very pleased with themselves.
I’m heartbroken, I don’t know how he could do this to our family. I’ve been such a fool for toddling along like life was perfect when all this time he’s been sticking his penis is another woman and not thinking about us! I hate him for this, truly. I’ve called my brother and sister in law to stay with me tonight, they will be here before he arrives home, I didn’t tell them much but it was clear I was upset.
I plan to have a bag packed for him and forward him all the messages when I hear him pull up outside. For me, the trust is gone and it’s over for good, I could never go back now after such a betrayal.

Oh lovely, I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. What a piece of shit he is. You sound like a lovely partner and mummy. I really hope you manage to enjoy Christmas with your babies, sending you huge hugs xxx

RareMaker · 08/12/2024 20:41

I am SO sorry you are dealing with this. 2 weeks before my daughter was born in 2013 I went through similar.

I will say it's best to have no man at your birth than a lying one. Of course you can do it without him! I went to the hospital on my own!

You deserve so much more than this. You need to tell people how you feel and if and when you need support because it may be tough BUT you will come out of this so much stronger and it won't always feel this raw.

Bertielong3 · 08/12/2024 20:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 08/12/2024 20:42

blueshoes · 08/12/2024 15:23

What pondlife scumbag tells this to another woman when she is 38 weeks pregnant. She is throwing a grenade into the marriage and she knows it. She could not have chosen a 'better' time. She is deliberately spoiling a happy family moment with the birth of a child. No one held a gun to her head to have an affair.

Do not engage with this lowlife.

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The husband threw the grenade into the marriage.

SexAndCakes · 08/12/2024 20:43

OP, you are doing so well here. What a shock and what a bastard your husband is. I'm glad you have family to support you - you will get through this and there are lots of people here who have your back as well.

Sending love and strength to you tonight.

adriftinadenofvipers · 08/12/2024 20:43

BeatsAntique · 08/12/2024 20:07

@Jagoda It wasn’t. It was someone that had added a 1 to her username. Pretty low.

That's sick.

Twilight7777 · 08/12/2024 20:44

blueshoes · 08/12/2024 15:32

Don't need your head tilt. My parents' marriage is none of your business and I learn from others' mistakes.

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Then why mention your parents marriage if you don’t want someone to reach out and empathise with you?

Hocuspoc · 08/12/2024 20:44

Waffletots · 08/12/2024 15:19

I just feel really vulnerable right now, I’m 38 weeks pregnant sat at home with our 3 year old. Life was perfect, I had absolutely no idea this would happen, it’s come out of nowhere! I really hope I haven’t been missing things out or contentment or stupidness? I just don’t know!

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Sorry, haven't read the whole thread, but just got to this. You said your life was perfect. I read that as - you had a great relationship with your husband, he was attentive, loving, supportive etc... why let a message from a random person ruin this. Honestly, pretend she never texted you. If you need him now, being pregnant and with a toddler, if he is actually there for you day in day out - take that. Take it while you need it and when you are in a better place talk about this and decide what you want to do.
Don't feel you need to react NOW and turn your life upside down just because it is what society expects...No. This thing between them may last another year and she could have texted you in a year instead now - what's the difference, really? Just ignore it. Know it, be aware, but just take what YOU need out of the situation - don't get manipulated into actions.

WearyAuldWumman · 08/12/2024 20:45

BeatsAntique · 08/12/2024 20:07

@Jagoda It wasn’t. It was someone that had added a 1 to her username. Pretty low.

Oh good grief. I hadn't spotted that. Thank you.

Readytoevolve · 08/12/2024 20:46

What a bastard. Good luck OP.

WandsOut · 08/12/2024 20:46

stripeyshutters · 08/12/2024 15:59

Why are you arsing about on here when you should be getting down to the truth of this?

What a shitbag post.

adriftinadenofvipers · 08/12/2024 20:47

Hocuspoc · 08/12/2024 20:44

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread, but just got to this. You said your life was perfect. I read that as - you had a great relationship with your husband, he was attentive, loving, supportive etc... why let a message from a random person ruin this. Honestly, pretend she never texted you. If you need him now, being pregnant and with a toddler, if he is actually there for you day in day out - take that. Take it while you need it and when you are in a better place talk about this and decide what you want to do.
Don't feel you need to react NOW and turn your life upside down just because it is what society expects...No. This thing between them may last another year and she could have texted you in a year instead now - what's the difference, really? Just ignore it. Know it, be aware, but just take what YOU need out of the situation - don't get manipulated into actions.

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Maybe there is a reason why people RTFT...

DowntonNabby · 08/12/2024 20:47

Hocuspoc · 08/12/2024 20:44

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread, but just got to this. You said your life was perfect. I read that as - you had a great relationship with your husband, he was attentive, loving, supportive etc... why let a message from a random person ruin this. Honestly, pretend she never texted you. If you need him now, being pregnant and with a toddler, if he is actually there for you day in day out - take that. Take it while you need it and when you are in a better place talk about this and decide what you want to do.
Don't feel you need to react NOW and turn your life upside down just because it is what society expects...No. This thing between them may last another year and she could have texted you in a year instead now - what's the difference, really? Just ignore it. Know it, be aware, but just take what YOU need out of the situation - don't get manipulated into actions.

Show quote history

Advocating that she should stick with him and let him continue cheating on her is awful advice. The damage that would do to her mental health! Not to mention the fact the OW has now provided evidence of the affair. She can hardly ignore that.

TastelessMiserySand · 08/12/2024 20:48

OP so many of us are thinking of you tonight. Please let us know you're OK. Xx

Supergirl1958 · 08/12/2024 20:48

Waffletots · 08/12/2024 17:17

Thanks everyone for all of your input, a few minutes after she sent the last message she did indeed send (a lot) of screenshots including messages from an app I don’t recognise, emails, many selfies of them in various places and a few of them they look like they’re lying down in bed looking very pleased with themselves.
I’m heartbroken, I don’t know how he could do this to our family. I’ve been such a fool for toddling along like life was perfect when all this time he’s been sticking his penis is another woman and not thinking about us! I hate him for this, truly. I’ve called my brother and sister in law to stay with me tonight, they will be here before he arrives home, I didn’t tell them much but it was clear I was upset.
I plan to have a bag packed for him and forward him all the messages when I hear him pull up outside. For me, the trust is gone and it’s over for good, I could never go back now after such a betrayal.

@Waffletots what an absolute t**t! And other stronger words!!
Hope you’re ok, hope he wasn’t too difficult this evening?

BubblestarUK · 08/12/2024 20:50

Thinking of you OP, what a horrid thing to happen

StressedEric · 08/12/2024 20:52

I am in awe OP. You’ve got this . So sorry it’s necessary though , what a bastard .

Reveny · 08/12/2024 20:52

What job does he do that he needs to be working on a Sunday until 6 pm? Are these his usual working hours?

RisingSunn · 08/12/2024 20:54

I’m glad your family are coming over for support.
Also, pls keep an eye on your health for next few days. You have just had a massive shock to the system when in a really vulnerable state.

So sorry you are going through this.

SlightlyJaded · 08/12/2024 20:54

THE THREAD IS ALMOST FULL

LET'S STOP POSTING AND LEAVE SPACE FOR THE OP IF SHE WANTS TO COME BACK

AND NO, I AM NOT THE TREAD POLICE, BUT SHE MAY WISH TO COME BACK TO US AND NOT FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT STARTING A SECOND THREAD.

Skyrainlight · 08/12/2024 20:54

I'm so sorry OP, that is truly awful! xx

Cattenberg · 08/12/2024 20:57

I'm so sorry. This news would be awful at any time, but this women's timing is shocking. I think you're doing the right thing, however. As you say, the trust is gone. I think that in the long run, it's better to know the truth rather than having to spend months playing detective while your husband lies, minimises and tries to blame you for his own behaviour.

LittleMousewithcloggson · 08/12/2024 20:57

Hope you’re ok

haje · 08/12/2024 20:57

Apologies I also had not noticed the "1" and had replied to that person. However when I do @ then op name it doesn't come up, only the version with the 1 does