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Original poster

I know his secret but how do I play this?

1000 replies

Waffletots · 08/12/2024 14:53

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

OP posts:
Jagoda · 08/12/2024 20:07

Why has OP had a recent post deleted on this thread?

BeatsAntique · 08/12/2024 20:07

@Jagoda It wasn’t. It was someone that had added a 1 to her username. Pretty low.

Rowen32 · 08/12/2024 20:08

I'm so sorry OP, have been thinking of you all evening xx

OVienna · 08/12/2024 20:08

So sorry OP. Glad your brother and SiL will be with you. Hugs to you.

MsDogLady · 08/12/2024 20:09

I meant to add:

Do not allow him to shift the blame for his year-long adultery onto you, @Waffletots. He was responsible for his choice to cheat and lead a double life. He clearly has deep character deficiencies — selfishness, entitlement, and a lack of integrity and empathy. His capacity for deception is massive.

Whatever her true intentions are, OW has brought you out of the dark. However, she is indeed ‘that person’ who helped him betray and harm you and your little ones.

Thinking of you during this crisis.

AdviceNeeded2024 · 08/12/2024 20:09

I’m so sorry OP. I’ve been where you are, it’s so hard. I’m sending hugs, you will get through this xx 💐

Gymnopedie · 08/12/2024 20:10

Americano75 · 08/12/2024 19:32

No there's no good time, but blowing the OP's life apart so late in her pregnancy is especially wicked. I genuinely worry about the possible effect of so much stress on her and the baby.

Show quote history

Of course it's a shit time for it to happen. But if I were in the OP's shoes I'd rather know now than later.

I'd hate to look back on the birth - with him there - and the joy of bringing the baby home, and know that it was all a sham.

Now the truth has come out OP can go through the last weeks and the birth with people who love her and will support her. It sounds like her parents would do that given the way they helped her today.

AdviceNeeded2024 · 08/12/2024 20:10

MsDogLady · 08/12/2024 20:09

I meant to add:

Do not allow him to shift the blame for his year-long adultery onto you, @Waffletots. He was responsible for his choice to cheat and lead a double life. He clearly has deep character deficiencies — selfishness, entitlement, and a lack of integrity and empathy. His capacity for deception is massive.

Whatever her true intentions are, OW has brought you out of the dark. However, she is indeed ‘that person’ who helped him betray and harm you and your little ones.

Thinking of you during this crisis.

Yes this too. Prepare for the rewriting of your relationship now he’s been caught out, to make it seem like he was driven to it.

Weefox · 08/12/2024 20:13

Don't give this woman the satisfaction of seeing you're worried. She could just be a pot stirrer.

When you see your husband tell him, in a measured way, that you've received a strange text from her. His reaction will give you an indication of what's being going on, if anything.

If he confesses to an affair tell him to move out for a couple of weeks to give you space to rethink your next move. Try to stay calm.

Victoriancat · 08/12/2024 20:14

Oh bless your heart, what a horrible barsteward

ZekeZeke · 08/12/2024 20:14

Sending you strength OP

Scottishskifun · 08/12/2024 20:14

I'm so sorry OP and very glad you have RL support there with you. Also well done for being strong although it probably doesn't feel like it right now.
Have a think who you would want as a birth partner too be it your mum, friend etc.
When you feel up to it read into the script but also then what comes next in the phases and protect yourself.

OneAquaFatball · 08/12/2024 20:17

How lucky your kids are to have a woman of your calibre as their mum OP.
I'm so sorry for what he's put you through.
Wishing you all the best for the rest of your life, not that you need it, you're amazing.

YellowAsteroid · 08/12/2024 20:17

Good luck @Waffletots I hope you're as OK as it's possible to be in such a situation. It will feel awful for some time, but you are doing the right things.

You're brave & courageous Flowers

Tiredofallthis101 · 08/12/2024 20:18

I'm so sorry what an absolute bastard. He should definitely be the one to leave not you. Sound like you have some good family around you who can hopefully support you. ❤

PrawnofthePatriarchy · 08/12/2024 20:19

You've dealt with this so well, with so much courage and good sense. I have great admiration for you in this ghastly situation.

Very glad you have such supportive family. To be given such earth shattering news when you're 38 weeks is a lot to deal with but you have support and your DC (both born and unborn). They will bring joy and distraction.

Sending a big hug and a cup of hot sweet tea. Flowers

fairydust11 · 08/12/2024 20:19

Op, i’m so, so sorry to read this 💐 your strength shown at such an horrendous time is amazing. Take care of yourself. x

Spendysis · 08/12/2024 20:20

I am so sorry op

Weefox · 08/12/2024 20:22

blueshoes · 08/12/2024 15:43

I am so sorry this has come out of the blue and you are still absorbing the shockwaves. You need time to take it in and decide next steps. Glad your parents can help with your little one and give you some space.

Show quote history

Please, don't jump to conclusions.

Itsacoldcoldwinter · 08/12/2024 20:23

@Ilikeadrink14
Enjoy the thread????
OP's life has just imploded and you see it as something to " enjoy" reading about.?
That is an absolutely insensitive horrible thing to say.

DowntonNabby · 08/12/2024 20:23

Weefox · 08/12/2024 20:13

Don't give this woman the satisfaction of seeing you're worried. She could just be a pot stirrer.

When you see your husband tell him, in a measured way, that you've received a strange text from her. His reaction will give you an indication of what's being going on, if anything.

If he confesses to an affair tell him to move out for a couple of weeks to give you space to rethink your next move. Try to stay calm.

The OW has sent OP incontrovertible proof. Playing mind games with him when her baby is due in two weeks won't help her.

DowntonNabby · 08/12/2024 20:24

Weefox · 08/12/2024 20:22

Please, don't jump to conclusions.

Show quote history

Please, read all of OP's comments – she's not jumping to anything, she has proof!

CompletelyALoan · 08/12/2024 20:25

What a bastard🤬

toucheee · 08/12/2024 20:26

Itsacoldcoldwinter · 08/12/2024 20:23

@Ilikeadrink14
Enjoy the thread????
OP's life has just imploded and you see it as something to " enjoy" reading about.?
That is an absolutely insensitive horrible thing to say.

Edited

I thought that poster simply meant enjoy the solidarity of women coming together to help another woman in a time of crisis. The thread has nearly 800 posts, almost all supportive.

Why do people need to look for the worst possible interpretation? That poster is right, lighten up. We’re all here for OP, not to fight.

Beach11 · 08/12/2024 20:26

❤️

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