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Original poster

I know his secret but how do I play this?

1000 replies

Waffletots · 08/12/2024 14:53

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

OP posts:
CauliflowerBalti · 08/12/2024 18:53

I am so sorry you're going through this. Much love to you, and strength. I hope he has the decency to fess up and ship out quietly.

You will be fine, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

Peopleinmyphone · 08/12/2024 18:53

Bonsaitree7 · 08/12/2024 18:32

There is no reason on earth why anybody would go to these lengths and lie when it is someone she actually works with. Particularly as he is her manager, this could put her career in jeopardy. OP she is telling the truth, she must have felt terrible when she found out you are expecting, he clearly fed her a pack of lies and she has decided to do the right thing.

Kick him out and send him back to his parents; definitely let them know what he has done to you whilst you have been carrying their grandchild. You don't need his presence stressing you out while you're about to give birth.

Yes, how noble of her to have an affair with a married man and tell op about it at 38 weeks pregnant. What a lovely woman she must be....

EvenLess · 08/12/2024 18:54

Poor you OP, I have no words of advice but feel for you very much. Good to hear you have a supportive family around you. Thinking of you tonight.

Teacherprebaby · 08/12/2024 18:54

Ablar · 08/12/2024 18:46

Again, didn't know I could

No one knows who you are replying to. We get it, you didn't know.

Startrekobsessed · 08/12/2024 18:55

Just wanted to say I’m so sorry this is happening to you OP. In a way it’s good the OW was able to send you definitive evidence so you can’t be brought into his lies that he would have undoubtedly told if you’d confronted him without evidence. I hope you have a good support network around you this evening and through the coming weeks/ months.

Christwosheds · 08/12/2024 18:55

So sorry to read this Op. What is wrong with men who do this? You are about to have a baby ! I agree with you that this level of disloyalty is totally unforgivable. I hope you have support around you, it sounds as though you have a caring family. Lean on family and friends and take all help offered. This is huge shock to go through.

teatoast8 · 08/12/2024 18:55

Grammarnut · 08/12/2024 16:37

Have the glass of wine. One won't hurt your baby and your agitation is likely to affect him/her.

I agree with this. One won't hurt

FussyPud · 08/12/2024 18:55

There’s never a great time for that sort of news, but this is truly hideous timing.

Thejackrussellsrule · 08/12/2024 18:55

Nothing I can add really, just wanted to send you some virtual love and hugs. You have been treated like absolute shit, you're going to have lots of ups and downs, but you sound like a strong woman and you'll get through.

You've said you've been stupid- you haven't, you been lied to and deceived, he's been very clever about this, you are not the stupid one here.

StormingNorman · 08/12/2024 18:55

Ablar · 08/12/2024 18:45

As I'm not on here daily I didn't know this could be done. Have already said that twice, no need for all the repeat tags and people having a go

People are responding to your posts without seeing that someone has tagged you further along in the thread. Just stop responding now. Everyone is here for the OP’s life-changing situation not your minor irritation at being tagged.

Pippyls67 · 08/12/2024 18:55

Rosscameasdoody · 08/12/2024 18:52

And what ? OP should just forgive him and move on ? Why are you apologising for him ?

Show quote history

I didn’t say that. You’re reading what you want into it.

NovemberMorn · 08/12/2024 18:56

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/12/2024 17:26

Oh love I'm so sorry. I feel every bit of pain in your post. While you have some very tough times ahead, I promise you that one day you will look back in this as a blessing in disguise. Having been through it, you realise that these men don't change and if it hadn't been her it would have been somebody else. Indeed my ex had two on the go so he could hedge his bets with which one would let him move in. They are utter cunts.

So glad you've got people with you and I hope he's on his way home knowing that his life is about to implode in ways he never thought possible. Keep your head together as best you can and legal advice asap. Flowers

This. /\

I can imagine how you feel right now, and it will be hard, but you have a loving family to help, God bless .

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 08/12/2024 18:56

I am very sorry that you are going through this. I can’t believe she chose when you are 38 weeks to tell you

2025willbemytime · 08/12/2024 18:57

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 08/12/2024 18:56

I am very sorry that you are going through this. I can’t believe she chose when you are 38 weeks to tell you

NOT that I'm defending the OW at all but she might not have known how pregnant the OP is.

MJconfessions · 08/12/2024 18:58

You’re a very strong lady op, I don’t know what I would do in your situation. I’m glad you have family there.

justasking111 · 08/12/2024 18:59

I'm so sorry @Waffletots

ivfjourneyandme · 08/12/2024 19:02

It will not feel like it now - it will feel as if the world has ended. But better, brighter and happier days will come. I promise

HallidayJones6779 · 08/12/2024 19:04

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. What a horrid man. Sending hugs xx

OrlandointheWilderness · 08/12/2024 19:06

I'm so so sorry. Xx

Sausagedognamedmash · 08/12/2024 19:07

I'm so so sorry OP. What can absolute cunt he is. You are not a fool and you and your children deserve so much better than a lying, cheating ass. Stay strong, no matter how hard it is, he needs to be gone.

Ablar · 08/12/2024 19:08

So they can have a go at me for not reading but can't read themselves. Make it make sense

Inkyblue123 · 08/12/2024 19:09

Just confront him. Why would you belive a total stranger over your husband? It would be different if he was just a boyfriend you’d been dating g for a while and didn’t know that well. Are you scared to ask in case his says yes ? I don’t see that there is any way around confronting this head on.

Creaturesoflove · 08/12/2024 19:10

OP, you are amazing, I am so glad you have a good supportive family around you.

BeNavyScroller · 08/12/2024 19:10

WickedlyCharmed · 08/12/2024 15:12

Tale as old as time.

Undoubtedly he’s been telling her your marriage is dead, he’s only staying for his child, he’ll leave you but he needs time, you don’t even have sex any more.

Then suddenly m, she finds out you’re pregnant and the scales dropped from her eyes.

I’m sorry your husband turned out to be a cunt.

Having been that person ^ this

EmotionalSupportBiscuit · 08/12/2024 19:11

Ablar · 08/12/2024 19:08

So they can have a go at me for not reading but can't read themselves. Make it make sense

The other handy thing you can do on MN is quote the person you’re replying to. Like this. Makes it much easier to follow the discussion and work out who you’re annoyed with.

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