To wonder if obesity is unattractive to most men?

[FlippertyFlopperty]

Since I've put on weight I barely get any attention from men. It's so unattractive isn't it? I'm feeling like I'll be single forever.

Does anyone have any experience of successfully meeting a significant other and being overweight?

I know lots of women who are overweight who are in great relationships, so clearly yes, men can find all sizes of women attractive.

I'm a size 16-18 and my hubby loves
Me exactly as I am and not just that but he finds me super attractive. There are many that like all shapes and sizes.
I know how hard it can be to feel confident.

Depends what you mean by obese. You dont actually have to be that much overweight on some heights to be in the obese category. So at around 1.5 stone overweight I would fall into that category. Clearly that is not a huge amount or grotesque in any way or extreme.

No, everybody in the world who is over a small size 6 is either a virgin or divorced.

I have to agree. I always got attention and then as I gained weight it all stopped. I mean I wasn't bothered as I didn't want the attention. The minute I've lost the weight again I've seen a change in how people see me.

yes men find it u attractive and ever since i’ve gained weight i’ve been ignored by men

massive difference between being obese and being a under a size 6 🙄

I met my partner at around a size 14 and I'm short so highish BMI I would think. I'm a 16 now. He's also bigger in a "ex rugby player" kind of way. We are very very happy and have a lot of really great sex. My mum is obsessed with looking good = thin and it makes me crazy.

If a man was that shallow I wouldn't be interested irrespective of my size!

What a stupid comment.

It's not about being shallow, it's about whether you do or don't find something in someone attractive.

I think you know the answer to your own question.

It depends what you mean by overweight or obese? If you are a few lbs overweight then I don't think many men would object to that but if you are obese as in may need medical intervention to save your life soon obese, then yeah, I doubt many people find that attractive.

There are lots of people who rule out everyone, male or female who isn’t a perfect slim weight, certain height, looks, hair etc, but those shallow assholes can all date each other. You will see for example the threads on men’s height, lots of women say they won’t date anyone under 6 foot. There are probably lots of men who wouldn’t date a larger woman, but that leaves all us mortals to find each other and date both for personality and those little things we find attractive about each other. Someone’s voice, their eyes, their laugh, their unruly curly hair or their lack of, we just fall in love or are attracted to something, the shallow ones can miss out with matches based on beauty standards that fade.

Some people will find you attractive. Some people won’t. That’s just dating. People are allowed preferences. Some women won’t date short men, or bald men, or men with small cocks. That’s fine. It’s also fine for some men not to want to date fat women, or women with small boobs, or women taller than them.

I don't. That's why I'm asking, doh! Tell me what you think.

Oh god, idk, pre-internet dating men used to just be grateful if anyone threw them the glad eye.

In my experience men don't find it to be "so unattractive" - I am definitely obese, a size 22/24 due to PCOS and Endo - and I have never been short of male attention.

What is unattractive is a woman who is down on herself and lacks confidence.

I'm certain that my confidence and character have a bigger part to play in how attractive I am than the size of my belly.

What a ridiculous thing to say!!!

I'd say that quite a lot of people (not all) tend to go for people a similar size to them. Not necessarily purely based on physical looks, sometimes it's more of a similar lifestyles vibe e.g. someone going to the gym everyday might not have a lifestyle compatible with someone who eats takeaway every night (not suggesting that's what all obese people do, but just to illustrate extremes).

OP, do you find obese men attractive?

Everyone has their preferences but sometimes it is to do with confidence. If you have put on a bit of weight it may have knocked your confidence to the point where you don’t think you’re attractive. Have a sit with yourself and ask if that is really what the issue is.

The thing is, weight is al relative. The size and weight you are now might be what someone larger dreams of being. You just don’t know. The most important thing is to try and love yourself and you will attract the right kind of people. Shallow men exist as do shallow women. That does not mean that there is a size cut off for finding love.

Well a lot of women don’t like obese men too! Some like short, some like tall, some like clever, some like funny, some like beards, some like skinny, some like muscly, some curvy - people are individuals and have individual tastes.

I agree with a PP that confidence is an attractive trait to a lot of people, I don’t think many people would be attracted to someone who constantly puts themself down.

I’ve been between a size 14 (aged 19) to a size 22 (age 38) with my partner with three pregnancies in between and honestly he stills finds me just as attractive. I still get (unwanted) attention on a night out etc, so some men do fancy bigger girls and some don’t - it seems to be more about the ‘connection’ which may be harder if you’re online dating etc

I don’t find obese men attractive. It doesn’t make me shallow I just don’t find it attractive.

Yes I do.