To wonder if obesity is unattractive to most men?

[FlippertyFlopperty]

Since I've put on weight I barely get any attention from men. It's so unattractive isn't it? I'm feeling like I'll be single forever.

Does anyone have any experience of successfully meeting a significant other and being overweight?

Yes but surely most women aspire to be more than some rutting post.

Was it a joke? Or just a sarcastic response to OP’s question that most men find obese women unattractive. Anyway, I don’t want to derail the thread, we have interpreted it in different ways!

Yes some of us do. DW was size 20 when we were married and size 18 now.

I would not for all the world use the term "obese" however - medically accurate as it might be.

Sarcastic or a joke, my original response stands. It was a really stupid comment.

I've always been petite/thin and never got attention from men...in fact I don't think I've ever been approached by a man that I can remember...and am in my 40s

When I was single in my thirties none of the men I dated would be considered an over weight woman. Depressing.

A great amount find it unattractive - probably. Not sure I'd say most.

I'm fat (obese, and short, so aye I look obese), and get enough attention I'd say. To the point it can be annoying/unwanted. Not every day or anything, though (which I'm glad about, that'd drive me mental).

Would you believe it, it's mostly not fat men that take interest, either.

I'd actually say I get more attention when on the larger scale versus smaller scale of fatness, for me personally. I'm not sure why, though I have some ideas. Nah it's not fetishes, either. Though I'd imagine the amount of attention I get must be because they think that because I'm fat, I must be easy/desperate.

It also depends how you define attention. Throughout my life, fat or slimmer, the amount of men whom have outright asked for my number/social media is not very high. Everything up to, and before that, though, I've gotten semi frequently, I'd say. Most of the men I seem to have interested in me these days is men I've met in person for one reason or another, and already have my contact details - again, not sure why this would be. Maybe the others aren't arsed enough to ask for me details?

Either way, I'd not like any more attention than I get - I'm being most genuine when I say this. How slim and very beautiful women cope I'll never know, hats off to them, it must drive them to despair.

It was a sarcastic response to OPs question, not sure it can be read any other way and therefore a ridiculous thing to say.

Rutting post! 😂

I’ve recently gained a lot of weight ( size 18, 5”7 ) the biggest I’ve been, and still get eye balled surprisingly. (In my 40s) when I get stared at I just think they are probably not getting any . I dress modestly so can’t work it out. Maybe I get stared at for being big idk?

i must add, I got far more attention when in shape though

Im 4foot 11 size 10 to a small 12 (not toned up so lumpy) and i couldent care less what others think.
And i have alot of fun being single and no strings attached always one nighters.
I think its how you feel with being you be your self care less what others think and you really start to shine.
Im having more fun now than i did in my 20s all started around 32 i just thought fuck it dont care gonna start having some fun.
Almost 40 not stopping yet.

What's wrong with using the term obese if they're obese?

I forgot to add my partner met me when I was size 8 and looking back, was most attracted to me as a fit size 12 - and this was when I got the most attention from men and women who told me I looked good at that size

It’s impossible for someone else to tell when a woman of average height is obese only. We’re designed to look good up to a bmi of 30-32 during our childbearing years. It’s only when women are morbidly obese that you can tell and at that point weight loss should be about health not getting a man.

Assuming you’re at the lower end of obese I suspect it’s more your confidence issues putting men off. Get yourself to a hairdresser, refresh your make up (get lessons if needed), refresh your wardrobe and be honest about your weight when online dating and you’ll be fine.

I don't know old @FelixtheAardvark is - but if he is near my age (late 50s) he very likely remembers the time when OBESE meant HUGE. Like massively fat - like 10 stone overweight.

3-5 stone over weight was fat. 6-10 stone overweight was very fat, then 10 stone plus overweight was OBESE.

Obese is just a description for someone who is 2-3 stone overweight or more now!

Do you feel comfortable in styling your new shape? Is it your clothes letting you down?

Depends on the context of the conversation I suppose?

It's not a 'nice' term, and I'd venture that many people use it more as a pejorative than in the clinical sense.

Some men like larger ladies, some don't. Larger men tend to be with larger ladies, there's someone for everyone- yes I am aware some slim men still like larger ladies too. However, you ask about the majority, not the possibility, so yes realistically, most slim men probably prefer a non-obese lady. Pretty much in the way I'd find an obese man a turn-off, not being obese myself, I think that's fair. It's not just about looks though, it's about leading a healthier lifestyle is more attractive, and as you age, that gets more important as maintaining mobility and physical ability for as long as possible is important. It shows care and respect for yourself.

Bit of puppy fat is OK. Being actually big fat is not attractive to most men imo.

It's the same with me. A man with a few extra pounds is fine. A man with a big belly is not attractive for most women.

I’m overweight, and was when I met my partner. He uses the term “curvy,” I’m definitely just fat and fine with it!

He is historically into “bigger women,” so his attraction does make sense in the context of his other relationships, and who am I to argue 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I think most men have an “upper limit,” and you’re either at/above it or you’re not.

I have to say I’d be unimpressed if he started calling me obese!

I suppose thinking about it...

Perhaps some people don't like the term 'obese' being used even though they are obese, and may prefer the term 'overweight' because it sounds 'lesser' to them?

Either way, it makes no difference to their weight though.

I have been both. I was around a size 14 but when I got down to a size 8, I realised I got much less attention.
In general, I think most men like a curvier/normal body.

I think pretty face is more important than a conventional figure. I met a lot of bigger girls with pretty faces who who had a lot of guys after them. Never noticed them being size 16+ a turn off.

I’m obese and a size 12. 24 inch waist, 26 jean size as I’m hippy and have a bum. I don’t look it as black women rarely have subcutaneous fat unless morbidly obese but yes I probably have visceral fat coming out of my ears.

I'm a 16-18 OP - when I was younger and lacked confidence in myself I felt unattractive but I wasn't I was a beautiful young woman. Now I'm a beautiful older woman but I know it and I see the way respond to me. They see confidence, personality and they are attracted to me. It makes me stand out.