To wonder if obesity is unattractive to most men?

[FlippertyFlopperty]

Since I've put on weight I barely get any attention from men. It's so unattractive isn't it? I'm feeling like I'll be single forever.

Does anyone have any experience of successfully meeting a significant other and being overweight?

Yes I do
Are you saying that obese men found you unattractive?

It happens that thin people are attracted by obese people but it's much common that slim attracts slim and obese attracts obese.

If you attract no one at all, maybe it's not your size that you need to focus on.

Of course some men find larger women attractive

and men will still find their partner’s attractive if they become overweight

but is being obese as attractive as being slim, very rarely

and I am overweight

I’ve gone from a size 22 to an 8. An example I could use is socialising with my husband, previously his friends/colleagues wouldn’t say anything and rarely acknowledge me. Now when we meet people as a couple they will ask him how he’s managed to pull a woman like me, tell him “he’s punching” and often don’t even believe I’m his wife. They have wandering hands and try to pull me away for conversations. I find this incredibly disrespectful to my husband who has loved me regardless and I don’t appreciate it at all.

I was a size 18 when I met my partner, it doesn't bother him at all ( I'm now a 20 and he still finds me attractive.
He is 6' tall and 15 stone though so not skinny either.

It’s obviously not what you want to hear but around age 18 I ballooned from a 8-10 to a 14-16 and remained like that till I was 22. I had very little interest from men. I thought I was enormous. I really wasn’t but I lost the weight and have remained a 10 ever since and the difference in attention is very noticeable.

I also think it’s unfair that there is much more expectation of women to be slim than men to be attractive. Men do generally “punch”

I would like an obese man unattractive, but also it would signify to me that we wouldn’t be compatible. I’m pretty active and go to the gym, am careful what I eat etc and have a lot of get up and go. My dear friend is very obese and she just cannot keep up on holidays etc. I don’t think I’m shallow but I just don’t find obese men attractive. A bit of a belly or a few pounds over, that’s different, but full on seat belt extension on planes obese, it just does not do it for me.

Yes I believe a woman who is visibly overweight is unattractive to most men. I think you can get away with a bit of overweightness especially if you still have a feminine shape ie visible waist.

If you are obese then I think only a small percentage of men will be attracted to you.

I once dated a guy who had a huge belly (yes it was a turn off) and he exclaimed his disgust that some of the woman he had met up with (off a dating site where he met me also) had in his words 'rolls of fat on their back'. So unfortunately even the fat men seem to find overweight woman unattractive too.

When we meet he was attracted to me for sure (slim) and very much fell in love with me (I was not so keen). Anyway a year down the track I put on weight because where previous partners who were slim would encourage me to eat healthy because they did, this one wanted to eat out alot/takeways and so I put weight on. I asked him if he was still attracted to me (I was a size 16 probably by this time, from a 12-14 at start and he said 'I love you now' in other words not really but I love you so it matters less. No doubt had I met him at that weight he would not have wanted to date me.

So in terms of meeting men I think your weight is a really big factor. If you are in a long term relationship I think the bloke will accept it but not necessarily be happy about it. He probably won't say it out loud but will be less attracted to you and less wanting to take you out and about and show you off. That was my experience anyway.

Most men would shag any woman given half the chance.

P.S. For men a slim beautiful woman is a status symbol almost or something other men envy them for. I believe if they date a fat person they get a really hard time from the mates and are a bit embarrased to be seen with them. Thus why men might sleep with a fat women but not date her.

I’m a size 16 and if I’m feeling confident I tend to attract male attention…. If I’m feeling down on myself then a lot less so. I think age Doesn’t help as well.

I think its all about you and at what weight you feel the most confident and comfortable at. If you're heavier than you'd like, that's what others are picking up. But if you are loving yourself, loving life and don't have hang-ups, people will be drawn to you. So self-love first and foremost ❤️

I did notice when I dropped from a 16 (obese for my height) down to a 14 I started getting getting more male attention. Im still overweight but curvy hourglass rather than a really big tummy. Perhaps it’s a confidence thing too though as my clothes fit better, I gave up booze so skin looks much healthier. I feel better in my own skin so maybe I just have a shaggable vibe. Not actually interested in dating but want to be fabulous for me!

I think many men don't mind their wife gaining a bit of weight, and they still love them/fancy them as much as they did before.

But most men won't specifically go for women who are obese if they're on the hunt for a new woman. When men are looking on OLD, (or in real life,) for a partner, they are not looking for a woman who is obese.

The vast majority of women are less attractive obese, than they are when they're slimmer, for a number of different reasons. (And men too of course, but we're not about men here, we're talking about if obese women are attractive to men. And on the whole, I would say no.)

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I’ve been various different sizes. When I lost weight I remember noticing that at a certain size and below, men would notice me more - looking twice etc. That just seems to be a biological fact.

But a relationship is about so much more than that, and a connection can happen at any size I think

Yep this. ^ I have been between 9 stone and 15 stone in the 40 years of my adult life - currently somewhere in the middle - and I can categorically say that I draw much more attention and looks from men when I'm slimmer than when I'm obese.

Like you, I ooze more confidence when I am slimmer, and wear nicer clothes, spend time on my hair, and wear nice make up and jewellery - as I know I look better slimmer and feel better and more attractive. Confidence is very attractive to many people!

I think the confidence thing is a big part of it.

I do, however, know women who say their husbands are nicer and more respectful to them when their weight is down. They’ve gone up, then down again, so it’s not just a general decline in the relationship. Makes me feel a bit 🤮 when I look at their DH now tbh as they seem such superficial pigs.

I genuinely find people often look more attractive a little heavier as they age, but I’ve never been one for a gaunt, wrinkly kind of face, but I try not to think it as that’s me being superficial too …

i think you are asking the wrong questions

you don't need a significant other

you do need to do something about your health

I think it was a joke?

I think most men don’t find overweight women as attractive as slim women.

It does make me laugh sometimes when people say it’s shallow to not find certain aspects of physical appearances attractive. We are all allowed to find various physical traits more or less attractive than others. It’s a pretty intimate situation you’re going to find yourself in with another person, I think it’s totally reasonable that you can pick and choose your preferences.

I think general attractiveness has a bearing. The prettier you are, the less important your weight; and vice versa - you can have a great figure but if you're facially ugly, it only draws unwelcome attention to your ugliness (bitter youthful experience).

My obesity is my armour to keep attraction away. I am so fucked up! All due to a sexual assault at 18.

I also know ladies who are incredibly thin and frail looking who men avoid, I think it’s a balance but more a case of self confidence that they pick up on

It might not be how they look, it may also be that if someone is obese, they are quite possibly very unhealthy. Obesity causes all sorts of health issues and not everyone wants to be in a relationship with that.