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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH called me a pathetic b****

416 replies

Piouspenny · 30/09/2024 19:15

Our neighbours sent some cupcakes with my son when he returned from a play date. . Unfortunately, they weren't particularly nice so I threw them away; DS and DH aren't particularly fond of cakes so wouldn't have eaten them.

I mentioned this to DS in passing when he asked where the cupcakes were. A few days later, when over their house, he told the neighbours that I threw them away.

It's caused some friction with the neighbours and they have made it clear DS is no longer welcome at their house, which has left him feeling very upset.

DH has placed the blame squarely on me, calling me a bitch, amongst other things.

I know I shouldn't have said anything but I think swearing and being abusive isn't acceptable.

OP posts:
forgotmypassagain · 30/09/2024 19:18

Your husband is bang out of order. Do not allow yourself to be spoken to like that.

can I ask though, what age is your son and did you tell him the cakes weren’t nice? Kids will get you hung if you’re too honest with them. I’ve learned my lesson there!

candlewhickgreen · 30/09/2024 19:20

I've no idea why you would tell your son that but no one should be calling you names.

Mrsttcno1 · 30/09/2024 19:21

candlewhickgreen · 30/09/2024 19:20

I've no idea why you would tell your son that but no one should be calling you names.

Agree with this. You shouldn’t have said anything, but still no excuse for name calling.

meganorks · 30/09/2024 19:21

You husband shouldn't be calling you a bitch under any circumstances. But you should have just told your son you ate them. They always grass you up! And the neighbours are obviously going to be upset to find out you think their cupcakes are horrible and you binned them. They have over-reacted somewhat, so hopefully when the dust settles they will let him round again.

comedycentral · 30/09/2024 19:24

You must be mortified about the cake and neighbour situation. I'd smooth things over with them if I could.

Your husband completely overreacted, though. He doesn't have the right to talk to you like that. How are things now?

PinkiOcelot · 30/09/2024 19:24

Why didn’t you just tell your son that you ate them all?

Your H is out of order with the name calling.

Whitfloor · 30/09/2024 19:26

Your relationship doesn't sound healthy.

Can you buy a sorry card and a bunch of flowers for the neighbours?

Screamingabdabz · 30/09/2024 19:26

Has he behaved like this before? What is he like generally?

SquigglePigs · 30/09/2024 19:26

The way your DH has spoken to you is completely unacceptable but also I don't think you handled it particularly well.

I assume your DS is pretty young for him to have told the neighbour what you said so you should have been more evasive with him.

If your DS isn't that young then you need a conversation with him about being kind to people!

Swanbeauty · 30/09/2024 19:27

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

notacooldad · 30/09/2024 19:30

You should have told your son you dropped them on the floor.
Your Dh is nasty and disrespectful.

DontCallMeKidDontCallMeBaby · 30/09/2024 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at OP's request.

Absolutely no justification for the way her husband spoke to op, but I think it was the son who told the neighbours. Presumably he repeated whatever op said about the cakes, and the neighbours threw him out for being rude (also over the top, as I’m presuming the son was pretty young to not realise he shouldn’t have said it directly to the neighbours.).

PepaWepa · 30/09/2024 19:34

Your neighbours are the pathetic ones. Banning your son because you threw away the cupcakes? Mean.

Wheredidileavemycarkeys · 30/09/2024 19:34

Whitfloor · 30/09/2024 19:26

Your relationship doesn't sound healthy.

Can you buy a sorry card and a bunch of flowers for the neighbours?

I can understand why the neighbours are annoyed but personally I wouldn’t grovel over bloody cupcakes.

DH is a wanker and DS should have kept his mouth shut.

LadyKenya · 30/09/2024 19:35

The Husband was wrong to call the OP vile names, but the neighbours are out of order in their treatment of an innocent child. I would not be bothering with them at all.

Getonwitit · 30/09/2024 19:37

Your Husband is vile, i understand he is angry because you have caused such an awful situation but he should never be calling you names.
Why the hell did you tell your son you put them in the bin ? He is now banned from his friends house because of you and as neighbours you will probably never speak again.

Tellysavelas · 30/09/2024 19:38

So why didn’t the dickhead deal with the cupcakes? Why is it your responsibility to dispose of them?

alwaysmovingforwards · 30/09/2024 19:38

Yeah agree with all previous posters .. he is rude and you are daft.

But a better thread title would have been ‘Cupcake saga: I’m on the verge of LTB plus neighbourly tensions at record high’.

Can you image the thread traffic?! Personally I can’t wait to hear more, it’s got the makings of an exciting storyline! 😁

Tiswa · 30/09/2024 19:39

the name calling was wrong and he has crossed a line

your son has learnt the truth isn’t always best but so have you - here a simple you brought them home awhile ago we no longer have them for you to have covers it - not a lie but not the whole truth

HotSource · 30/09/2024 19:40

If your DS was asking about them, he was presumably thinking of eating one?

Did you make them available for him / DH to eat before you decided to throw them away?

Did you thank your neighbours?

Your DH is obviously BU (and worse) to shout / swear / call you names.

Your neighbour seems sensitive

But you were tactless and ungrateful.

Ziplob · 30/09/2024 19:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Josette77 · 30/09/2024 19:43

How do you know they weren't very nice? Did you offer one to ds and dh?

Your DH should never call you names.

How old is ds?

ThatsNotMyTeen · 30/09/2024 19:43

Your husband is a nasty piece of work and your neighbours are pathetic.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 30/09/2024 19:44

Explain you have food intolerances but don’t like to make a big deal and as they looked so delicious you didn’t want to be tempted.
Tell your husband he’s a fucking tosser who needs a lawyer.

tothelefttotheleft · 30/09/2024 19:47

How old is your son?