If a man can't afford to keep me

[sunshinesparklestar]

I'm not sure how well this post will go down but AIBU to find it unattractive if a man can't financially support his wife and family? I mean to the point where the wife doesn't have to work if she doesn't want to.

I am a SAHM to my child who is now in school. I have been a SAHM since my maternity leave ended and I have no plans on going back to work. My DH runs a business and earns enough to comfortably support us all. I have things in place which mean I would be financially secure if he was to leave me/pass away and for later in life.

The main AIBU is to find a man who couldn't financially support his wife unattractive? There's a couple who live down my street and she has to work full time and I feel sorry for her leaving so early every morning and coming home way after her children have finished school.

I totally agree with women working if they want/need to but I can't help but feel sorry for them.

Nice humble brag! What you are saying is the most attractive thing in a partner is his wallet.

If you think working is empowering then why did you say you feel sorry for women that work? You are very judgmental of women that can do something you say you can’t? Don’t feel sorry for me, thanks but I can do what I like it’s not the 1940’s anymore

This isn’t even a boast. It’s massively unattractive that anyone would expect their partner to financially look after them.

You literally said you felt sorry for working women…

In case its not been said, it's the school hols in Scotland.

😂🤣

You sound like a lazy woman child.

I actually think some of the comments on here are bordering being really offensive to women that do choose to stay at home - so not really coming across much better than the OP.

I feel sorry for the women who don't want to work and miss their children but have NO choice but to work. I don't feel sorry for the women who want to work and love their career and not being financially dependent on a man.

The phrase gold digger springs to mind.

It's more that men should be the ones worrying about security for the family not the woman. My life is completely different to that though

So glad to hear you’ve found the secret of neither you nor your husband ever getting old, facing illness or disability, or any other unexpected event impacting your husband’s business or earning potential, such as a global pandemic as a top of mind example.
How lucky you must be to have found that magic crystal ball that tells you your future so clearly….

…Bit confused why you are here making OTT posts obviously meant to inflame people rather than being out enjoying the carefree life you’ve portrayed.

😂😂😂 nice try

I mean, I find blond men unattractive - we all have our sticking points. Some men probably find freeloaders unattractive.

We were also teenagers when we met, so neither of us were in the position to support each other in any way apart from be together as teenagers.

You definitely did put women down. I have ADHD, have a successful job and keep my house and family in check. I battle a bit harder than some might, but I'm not a quitter.

What a weird pointless and it feels disingenuous post. Maybe you need a job to fill your time a bit more.

I feel sorry for incels. All the things they could do and find on the Internet and they wind up with Andrew Tate.

Why does it matter that you don’t find this random men who aren’t your husband attractive though? Literally, who cares? I’m sure they don’t, as they’re not looking for you to find them attractive are they?

We work as a team we both made those children and we both live in the house we both equally work together. He also wishes to parent his children and be there for the school plays and other such events.

We both work, we both share responsibilities (sick days etc) He cooks and knows how to Hoover & use the washing machine!

I wouldn’t find someone attractive who expected me just because I was a female to do all the heavy lifting. I want a partner who wants to parent equally which means I’m able to work and be independent. He also though when we had our first did say that he wanted me to have the option to be at SAHP if it’s what I wished but he would support me with whatever choice I made.

Maybe if you had a job you wouldn't have enough time left to write crap like this on the internet!

Lets hope your DH doesnt find it unattractive in the future that his wife cant support herself.

What happens OP if your DH becomes ill and can no longer run his business? Will you step up and work?

I’m not kept,because I’m not a possession or housewife bauble. I’m a high earner and self sufficient . I’m not financially dependent on my partner and don’t share finances

I could not be with a man who wanted me to be kept
i couldn’t not put my self in precarious position of being financially dependent

I’m very skilled at a job in I love. I’m fortunate to be in a career I love

I mean everyone can feel how they want to feel 🤷🏻‍♀️

I work and make £££ and I feel “sorry” for you…
does that help?

as long as it works for you and you have a watertight commitment to things like discretionary spending, pensions, time away from work etc etc.

On the other hand every couple should make mature informed decisions about how to live their lives and spend their money.

My personal view? any woman that leaves herself financially dependent on anyone is daft.