To be shocked not to be told trans student sharing bedroom on school trips

[rosesrredviolets]

DD aged 15 shared a bedroom with a trans girl (born a boy) on a school trip. Dd only found out the sleeping arrangements whilst on the trip and we only found out later. I presumed that trans students would have their own bedrooms at this age. Am shocked not to have at least been asked by school in advance. However it would appear that the policy given to schools is that sharing is fine.

Abso bloody lutely. I would be RAGING.

Can we please stop speaking about CIS boys and girls/men amd women.

We have girls and boys and transgirls and transboys

Stop feeding this shite

Yeah, there's no such thing as a gender identity which matches any kind of genitalia, therefore no such thing as cis.

There are just male people and female people, a small number of whom have gender dysphoria.

No, I think what people are saying is that this boy should have been put in a room with other boys.

He isn't a girl, he isn't a trans-girl, he isn't a cis-boy, he isn't none binary. He's a boy. And always will be.

This wouldn't be allowed in our school. The trans student would be offered a single room if they felt uncomfortable being placed with their sex. This seems a fair compromise

"Absolutely" is too strong. Genitals become a concern in certain circumstances. Sharing bedrooms is one of those circumstances.

Such concern used to be taken care of very simply: girls shared with girls, boys with boys. No need to mention 'genitals', just taken care of simply by that segregation. Now, some fools like you want this not to work. You want 'girl' to apply to some boys. In this new circumstance, in which some neo-'girls' have boys' genitals, it becomes important to consider the matter of genitals explicitly.

I think we should go back to girls-with-girls and boys-with-boys. You? You want genitals to be explicitly considered. And, at the same time, not. Idiot.

This has been Stonewall school guidance for years and all the other insane organisations like the Proud Trust and Allsorts. You need to ask your school for the literature they use in PSHE lessons and object if anything deviates from latest govt guidelines - if there is any (I'm not keeping up with it)

Are you saying the school should have outed this child to you? The genitalia of another child is absolutely none of your concern. YABU.

The school shouldn't be outing anyone, and the genitalia of a child isn't the concern of anyone else - while the rights of the other pupils aren't being eroded.

There are lots of things about people that are none of my damned business at all, until I am in the position of being negatively impacted by those things.

I have a trans kid (adult now actually) so I've been there, I've lived it, and it's absolutely possible to respect all people in this scenario. I always have, and my child does now as an adult too.

We have girls and we have boys,the rest is absolute bilge.

This.

If we go back to agreeing that a boy is a child with male genitals and a girl is a child with female genitals, we can have boys sharing with boys and girls sharing with girls and no one needs to talk about genitals.

She very reasonably does not want her daughter sharing a room with a boy. If she had prior knowledge of the schools intention to room her with a boy, she could have made alternative arrangements. That's ok isn't it? For a parent to care about the safety of their own child .

Exactly. I cannot see how it happened. I've also been an EVC for a lot of years. It would never get passed.

And what kind of stigma do you think that might create for the trans student? Do you think that might be outing for them? Do you think it’s safe to out trans children ? Do you have any concerns at all for this child? Or do all your concerns about safeguarding only extend to those children who conform to your expectations about gender and sex?

No child is a human shield for another child.

Children may have private rooms for different reasons. The solution is not to give lower safeguarding to one child to create a shield for another. You don’t create a risky situation for one child to keep another child’s secret either. That your only priority is to a child who has declared a gender identity is inexcusable and it is harmful.

And what kind of stigma do you think that might create for the trans student? Do you think that might be outing for them? Do you think it’s safe to out trans children ? Do you have any concerns at all for this child? Or do all your concerns about safeguarding only extend to those children who conform to your expectations about gender and sex?

They would already be out if wanting to share with the girls. Why does the trans kid's feelings trump the girls right to feeling comfortable and safe?

@Tandora A trans student can be accommodated in a single room without being 'outed'. E.g say 'medical need'.
Though that trans student shoul be using non female toilets and changing rooms at school already, and not doing PE with the girls unless PE is mixed sex.

The desires of a trans students do not trump the rights and safety of other students.

It really isn't so hard to understand.

@Tandora

So, what do you suggest? That the female child has to have her space impeded on by a child who is not female? Why is it ALWAYS the female that has to move, change, accept, cope, manage? Why can't that male child go into a room with other males? Or, if he really wants to go on the trip but doesn't want to sleep in a room with other boys his own age, go in a room on his own? Stop making it the girl's responsibility. It isn't.

@Tandora girls are not support humans for confused males.

Just jog on with your creepy, boundary breaking nonsense.

The trans kid should have their own room. It's really simple.

OPs DD should not have her boundaries eroded for male performance of femininity.

And what kind of stigma do you think that might create for the trans student? Do you think that might be outing for them? Do you think it’s safe to out trans children ? Do you have any concerns at all for this child? Or do all your concerns about safeguarding only extend to those children who conform to your expectations about gender and sex?

Don't be ridiculous - all the students will already know that the student is trans-identifying. And, as has been previously said, they could give another reason why the student had a room to themselves.

People know who are trans students in school.. no one is outing anyone by not allowing trans students into girls sleeping areas

Do you think that might be outing for them? Do you think it’s safe to out trans children ?

Given that we are talking about children who have been in the same school the last 4 years - I think they kinda know who’s what.

Being trans is always all bout showing off - attention seeking.

Some moms of trans kids have been in here - How do you feel about these kids using trans as an attention seeking behaviour? These kids are taking away from your child’s real pain and suffering - it’s an appalling waste of HS resources and the MH services are over whelmed.

None of that should be on the shoulders of the OPs daughter, who is a person with her own needs - not a support human for others.

Do you ever consider anyone's needs beyond those who are trans-identifying? I've certainly never seen any evidence across the multiple threads you've posted on.

Do you ever consider anyone's needs beyond those who are trans-identifying? I've certainly never seen any evidence across the multiple threads you've posted on.

Yep, it's militant.

girls are not support humans for confused males.

Exactly. Why should they be?

Why do adults dismiss girls?

Considering the latest ones have been to assert that puberty blockers are ‘safe’ and then post disinformation from influencers about the Cass review, don’t be expecting any evidence. There never is.