To be shocked not to be told trans student sharing bedroom on school trips

[rosesrredviolets]

DD aged 15 shared a bedroom with a trans girl (born a boy) on a school trip. Dd only found out the sleeping arrangements whilst on the trip and we only found out later. I presumed that trans students would have their own bedrooms at this age. Am shocked not to have at least been asked by school in advance. However it would appear that the policy given to schools is that sharing is fine.

For all those who criticise Scotland this wouldn't be OK under their guidance but is fine under old English guidance. I haven't read the new one.

It’s decidedly odd that they only told you all the arrangements after the start of the trip which implies to me that they knew they’d get backlash.

Has the trans girl been trans for long? Have they been on puberty blockers throughout puberty? These things make a difference - or are we talking about a male person who has and is going through puberty and is stronger and bigger than the girls in the room with the requisite urges that come with it? It’s hard to say anything but if it makes you uncomfortable then you have every right to say it. Your DDs comfort and safety are as important as the transgirl‘s safety. And if they aren’t ok in a room with males then there is no reason why the girls should also be accepting of it either.

They shouldn't have allowed a boy to share with a girl. The boy should have been with buys or on his own.

YABU to think they should all get their own rooms though.

Crazy. Essentially your dd is sharing room with a boy, which would not normally be accepted. I would have thought that current change in attitudes would have made that unacceptable.

I would get furious, op. Have they risk assessed this? Regardless of how he identifies, he has the capability to get your dd pregnant.

Maybe I am wrong but at 15, I would
assume they had been through any kind of gender reassignment surgery either?? As in, all male
genitals still in tact?
How did your DD feel about it?

I would be raising merry hell.

I dunno, schools don't generally share eriom lists until they're on the trip, otherwise you get endless phone calls and emails "Sophie doesn't want to share with Samantha and Sarah, she wants to share with Sarah and Sally. Can you switch around rooms?". ..... "Oh, Sally won't share with Sarah, but she will share with Sophie. Can you switch around rooms?"

I wouldn’t have been happy and would want a meeting with the school. My dd would have been very uncomfortable in that situation.

Trans girl should have had a room to themselves.

Of course not, you have to be an adult to have gender affirming surgery in the UK, and even the number of teenagers on puberty blockers is very small.

There will be no physical difference between this trans girl and any of the boys.

The chances of them being on puberty blockers is vanishingly small. More like he has been listening to Dylan mulvaney and /or has a parent who is encouraging it.

im sick of the lot of it

Less than 5% of men identifying as women have any sort of surgery.

OP, I’d be going FUCKING MENTAL. How dare they put your daughter at risk like this.

look up Sex Mstters and their guidance on schools. this is surely a major safeguarding issue

New dfe gender guidance prohibits this.

I really would not be happy about this either for safeguarding reasons. Trans girl should have had own room in my opinion.

No they aren’t

I would not be at all happy about that. I'm not normally one to complain to the school, but I would be asking to speak to someone about that.

I have no idea about puberty blockers or anything else related. Only by chance that I even know they are trans as I dont know many of the students. I dint think they would all have their own bedrooms just the trans student. I presumed there was only one but of course there could be lots I guess but then they could share with other trans of the same gender.

I’m surprised. My DD went in a trip aged 18 and a transgender boy (with female body, no hormones or surgery) shared a room with her and a friend, but this was agreed in advance.

When my DC have been on trips the rooms may have been allocated before they set off on the trip, but the young people are only told after they have departed to avoid complications. I think this is very standard.

This would absolutely not be allowed in any school I have worked in. And the risk assessment for the Lev form would be very interesting to read.

I find it very hard to believe, to be honest. The school has left themselves absolutely wide open to legal proceedings against them if this is genuine.

Are you saying the school should have outed this child to you? The genitalia of another child is absolutely none of your concern. YABU.

silverbranch - school didnt tell me afterwards. I asked DD who she was allocated to share with and then she told me. She didnt volunteer the information. I just asked to make conversation as it never occurred to me it would someone born a boy