To be shocked not to be told trans student sharing bedroom on school trips

[rosesrredviolets]

DD aged 15 shared a bedroom with a trans girl (born a boy) on a school trip. Dd only found out the sleeping arrangements whilst on the trip and we only found out later. I presumed that trans students would have their own bedrooms at this age. Am shocked not to have at least been asked by school in advance. However it would appear that the policy given to schools is that sharing is fine.

My late husband trained children in karate.

Both sexes trained together, but girls did not spar with boys and there were separate competitions for boys, girls, men, women. There were also age categories and separate categories for seniors.

My DH got his black belt in his 60s and did compete until his health took a turn for the worse. (He was a retired teacher- one of the reasons he was asked to train the juniors - and he had to take various safeguarding qualifications specific to sport.)

If he’d sparred with a woman, he could have caused damage.

Even when the competition was kata - forms only- the separate categories were used. Had to be…you actually got points for ‘aggression’.

Truly pathetic.

We are way, way past the point at which this accusation is going to make any of us feel at all bad or even question ourselves. It’s just background noise at this point- especially if you offer absolutely nothing in the way of evidence or arguments.

Yes - that's exactly the sort of set-up I has in mind when I mentioned sportification - awarding points and so on, rather than adjusting your attack/response to the respective partner. In contrast, a friend practices classical rather than Olympic judo in addition to several koryu. All fully co-ed, and no "sparring". Same in aikijujutsu/aikido. Its usually 1/3 women.. and yes there are issues because many women have had any form of aggression or physicality trained out of them so much its difficult for them to throw a punch or "grab my wrist." Hence separate women's beginner classes. After that stage, though, it's all about responding with equivalent energy to what the attacker supplies. If that's low-energy it's low-energy. There's one version of aikido (Tomiki) that does practice sparring but I don't think they've gone so far as to segregate.)