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To be shocked not to be told trans student sharing bedroom on school trips

404 replies

rosesrredviolets · 20/04/2024 19:10

DD aged 15 shared a bedroom with a trans girl (born a boy) on a school trip. Dd only found out the sleeping arrangements whilst on the trip and we only found out later. I presumed that trans students would have their own bedrooms at this age. Am shocked not to have at least been asked by school in advance. However it would appear that the policy given to schools is that sharing is fine.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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caringcarer · 21/04/2024 18:30

I'd complain in writing to headteacher, governors and Ofsted. How dare they make you DD share a room with a boy. Did she tell you at the time? I'd have gone and collected if at all possible in the UK.

BedBugs5 · 21/04/2024 18:31

The key point for me is that there is no evidence that cis female students are at any more risk from sharing accommodation with a trans female student than a cis student of the same gender.

Trans students are some of the most marginalised and discriminated against in the country. Clearly they cannot sleep with cis male students and I don’t see why they should be ostracised by having to have an individual room.

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised. In most cases, that will mean being accommodated alongside cis female students. In some cases, it may be appropriate for a trans student to sleep separately, but this should be done following discussions with the individual and their parents.

Schools certainly shouldn’t be broadcasting intimate personal information regarding trans status to other parents.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 21/04/2024 18:32

BedBugs5 · 21/04/2024 18:31

The key point for me is that there is no evidence that cis female students are at any more risk from sharing accommodation with a trans female student than a cis student of the same gender.

Trans students are some of the most marginalised and discriminated against in the country. Clearly they cannot sleep with cis male students and I don’t see why they should be ostracised by having to have an individual room.

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised. In most cases, that will mean being accommodated alongside cis female students. In some cases, it may be appropriate for a trans student to sleep separately, but this should be done following discussions with the individual and their parents.

Schools certainly shouldn’t be broadcasting intimate personal information regarding trans status to other parents.

This has got to be a wind up?

lotsofpeoplenametheirswords · 21/04/2024 18:38

BedBugs5 · 21/04/2024 18:31

The key point for me is that there is no evidence that cis female students are at any more risk from sharing accommodation with a trans female student than a cis student of the same gender.

Trans students are some of the most marginalised and discriminated against in the country. Clearly they cannot sleep with cis male students and I don’t see why they should be ostracised by having to have an individual room.

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised. In most cases, that will mean being accommodated alongside cis female students. In some cases, it may be appropriate for a trans student to sleep separately, but this should be done following discussions with the individual and their parents.

Schools certainly shouldn’t be broadcasting intimate personal information regarding trans status to other parents.

I have never read so much absolute crap in all my life. Cis???? No love - just girl. They are a girl. Stop re-modelling what a female/girl/woman is. How dare you attached a pre-fix to me? I am not cis anything.

The child you are talking about is a boy. He will have a penis and testicles. There is NOTHING about him that makes him even remotely female. He is not and will never be a girl or a woman.

What needs prioritising here is the rights of women and girls not to have their spaces invaded by males whether that is changing rooms, toilets, sports and even their bedrooms.

It is on the school to make arrangements for this boy that do not impact the rights of the other children. He is not a priority.

MovedByFanciesThatAreCurled · 21/04/2024 18:40

Tandora · 21/04/2024 17:39

And what kind of stigma do you think that might create for the trans student? Do you think that might be outing for them? Do you think it’s safe to out trans children ? Do you have any concerns at all for this child? Or do all your concerns about safeguarding only extend to those children who conform to your expectations about gender and sex?

These aren’t ‘expectations’ they are FACTS. Sex is a FACT. No one really believe anything else.

Waitingfordoggo · 21/04/2024 18:47

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised

Why?

The needs of the trans-identifying student are of course important- but no more or less important than the needs of the other students.

What about the female students? What about those from other religious faiths? If there were a Muslim girl in the group, are you honestly saying that the needs of the male trans identifying child must take priority over the needs of a female Muslim child?

Why?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 21/04/2024 18:48

BedBugs5 · 21/04/2024 18:31

The key point for me is that there is no evidence that cis female students are at any more risk from sharing accommodation with a trans female student than a cis student of the same gender.

Trans students are some of the most marginalised and discriminated against in the country. Clearly they cannot sleep with cis male students and I don’t see why they should be ostracised by having to have an individual room.

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised. In most cases, that will mean being accommodated alongside cis female students. In some cases, it may be appropriate for a trans student to sleep separately, but this should be done following discussions with the individual and their parents.

Schools certainly shouldn’t be broadcasting intimate personal information regarding trans status to other parents.

So the needs of male children with gender identities should be prioritised over the needs of female children then.

You actually said the quiet part out loud.

To be shocked not to be told trans student sharing bedroom on school trips
MrsOvertonsWindow · 21/04/2024 18:49

BedBugs5 · 21/04/2024 18:31

The key point for me is that there is no evidence that cis female students are at any more risk from sharing accommodation with a trans female student than a cis student of the same gender.

Trans students are some of the most marginalised and discriminated against in the country. Clearly they cannot sleep with cis male students and I don’t see why they should be ostracised by having to have an individual room.

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised. In most cases, that will mean being accommodated alongside cis female students. In some cases, it may be appropriate for a trans student to sleep separately, but this should be done following discussions with the individual and their parents.

Schools certainly shouldn’t be broadcasting intimate personal information regarding trans status to other parents.

And that's why we're in such a mess. The expectation that a child who thinks they're the opposite sex must be prioritised over the rights of boys and girls.

Girls should never be told that they have no right to privacy or safety from males of any age. Girls are not support humans for sad boys or men.
All our children deserve better than this nonsense.

Waitingfordoggo · 21/04/2024 18:50

@Tandora- no one has said that any of these children have to conform to gender expectations at all. There will be girls on the trip who choose to wear trousers and enjoy football, I imagine. There might be boys with long hair who love dance. You really are clutching at straws in your desperation to do away with safeguarding.

TheKeatingFive · 21/04/2024 18:57

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised

Absolutely not. This is appalling. These girls are not less important than a boy.

dapsnotplimsolls · 21/04/2024 19:09

Safeguarding trumps 'feelz'.

lifeturnsonadime · 21/04/2024 19:15

Operation let them speak in full force.

Note how the gender ideologists completely disregard normal safeguarding for female children.

The feelings, dignity and safeguarding of female children are less important than the demands of the male child.

The same gender ideologists would say that puberty blockers, which we know from recent evidence, if not from common sense, are the right approach for children.

Now consider why society is allowing the wishes of any man who identifies as trans into women's single sex spaces? Who benefits, who looses.

This is men's rights activism. Women must bow down to the demands of males, that is the point.

OP you must complain. Women and girls are too important.

nothingcomestonothing · 21/04/2024 19:26

BedBugs5 · 21/04/2024 18:31

The key point for me is that there is no evidence that cis female students are at any more risk from sharing accommodation with a trans female student than a cis student of the same gender.

Trans students are some of the most marginalised and discriminated against in the country. Clearly they cannot sleep with cis male students and I don’t see why they should be ostracised by having to have an individual room.

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised. In most cases, that will mean being accommodated alongside cis female students. In some cases, it may be appropriate for a trans student to sleep separately, but this should be done following discussions with the individual and their parents.

Schools certainly shouldn’t be broadcasting intimate personal information regarding trans status to other parents.

Firstly, piss off with your 'cis'. You don't get to define me as a subset of my own sex.

Secondly, 'most marginalised and vulnerableâ„¢ was debunked ages ago. Trans people are not more marginalised and discriminated against, they're the fucking sacred caste.

Thirdly, the fact that you're willing to say that a male should be prioritised over the females, tells the whole story. You're a men's rights activist, just own it

https://thecritic.co.uk/neither-marginalised-abused-nor-vulnerable/

Neither marginalised, abused nor vulnerable | Madison Smith | The Critic Magazine

Ask almost any politician any question about gender identity — even if it’s specifically about women’s bodies or women’s rights — and you will inevitably hear the following sentence with minimal…

https://thecritic.co.uk/neither-marginalised-abused-nor-vulnerable

Otter2 · 21/04/2024 19:31

BedBugs5 · 21/04/2024 18:31

The key point for me is that there is no evidence that cis female students are at any more risk from sharing accommodation with a trans female student than a cis student of the same gender.

Trans students are some of the most marginalised and discriminated against in the country. Clearly they cannot sleep with cis male students and I don’t see why they should be ostracised by having to have an individual room.

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised. In most cases, that will mean being accommodated alongside cis female students. In some cases, it may be appropriate for a trans student to sleep separately, but this should be done following discussions with the individual and their parents.

Schools certainly shouldn’t be broadcasting intimate personal information regarding trans status to other parents.

Piss take.

BluntPoet · 21/04/2024 19:42

rosesrredviolets · 20/04/2024 19:10

DD aged 15 shared a bedroom with a trans girl (born a boy) on a school trip. Dd only found out the sleeping arrangements whilst on the trip and we only found out later. I presumed that trans students would have their own bedrooms at this age. Am shocked not to have at least been asked by school in advance. However it would appear that the policy given to schools is that sharing is fine.

I think we can say that a girls’ bedroom is a single sex space.

In which case the school is in breach of the new guidance.

Also, the fact that a 15-year-old ‚identifies’ as a girl has no bearing on his testosterone levels, genitalia and sexual preference.

I’d ask the school if they would expect or allow a pupil identifying as a cat to pee into a litter tray and eat Whiskas. I think not.

GrumpyPanda · 21/04/2024 19:43

Interesting that @BedBugs5 thinks girls have to submit to trans identifying boys but doesnt even touch on the opposite scenario. Go figure.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 21/04/2024 19:57

GrumpyPanda · 21/04/2024 19:43

Interesting that @BedBugs5 thinks girls have to submit to trans identifying boys but doesnt even touch on the opposite scenario. Go figure.

It's misogyny on steroids.

rosesrredviolets · 21/04/2024 20:22

The more I look into this the more I think DD will have to leave the school if I complain as the young people dont understand any concerns and genuinely think it is transphobic to have a concern and will blame DD for reporting it or having a transphobic mother.

Those saying 15 year olds should not be doing PE together either - is this correct? It is standard for trans girls in DDs school to do all PE with the girls and be in the girls school sports teams. The girls all seem to think that is fine despite the potential injuries that parents might have a concern about. I have no idea what other schools think or if they know but I guess as we always lose it may be less of a concern to them. I presumed all schools were the same as ours - it is just reading previous posts on here that make me query it now.

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 21/04/2024 20:31

@rosesrredviolets Why would your daughter have to leave the school? Your complaint would be between you and the school. I don't see why the other children would even need to know about it.

Helleofabore · 21/04/2024 20:33

BedBugs5 · 21/04/2024 18:31

The key point for me is that there is no evidence that cis female students are at any more risk from sharing accommodation with a trans female student than a cis student of the same gender.

Trans students are some of the most marginalised and discriminated against in the country. Clearly they cannot sleep with cis male students and I don’t see why they should be ostracised by having to have an individual room.

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised. In most cases, that will mean being accommodated alongside cis female students. In some cases, it may be appropriate for a trans student to sleep separately, but this should be done following discussions with the individual and their parents.

Schools certainly shouldn’t be broadcasting intimate personal information regarding trans status to other parents.

Your 'key' point' is one that is built on falsity and, since you are plainly unwilling to commit yourself to the number of children you will accept being harmed by your own advocacy, dishonest.

Some students with trans identities may be discriminated against, however, they are by no means the ONLY students. Yet, your solution is negligent towards the other groups of students that may also be discriminated against.

Not that we are saying that the only solution is that a male is to sleep with male students, but your 'clearly they cannot sleep with male students' is ignorant. I happen to know of male students with trans identities who DO sleep in with other male students. And I believe we have had parents on this thread who have countered your points directly with their own children who have trans identities. It is a valid solution whether you like it or note. And your posts seems to indicate that you are out of touch with the reality of how to find an equitable solution, you are ideologically driven by total compliance instead.

No. The student with a trans identity should not be 'prioritised'.

For a start, that female student may have undisclosed and very valid reasons to be in a strictly female only space. To use your and other ideologically driven activist's emotionally manipulative language, that female student may not have 'outed' her own situation and you and others are requiring that student's privacy to be 'violated' to provide a male student a personal shield.

Did you even think about the needs of the female student in your drive to provide a male student everything they demanded? Even once?

Clearly not.

Again, you state there is 'no evidence' that a 'trans girl' is a risk. There is plenty of evidence that MALE children are a risk to female children for a wide range of different issues, only some are even sexual. Please provide the evidence that a male child with a trans identity is no longer a male child? Please provide the evidence that they have changed sex in any materially measurable way.

Did you come back with a list of the significant changes that that group of male children go through that in any way removes them from the male child population? Or have I missed this too?

If you cannot provide any material and objective changes to a male child who declares a trans identity that removes them from the male child population of the UK, they are STILL male children. And need to be treated as such for safeguarding. They can be treated as a vulnerable male child, but they are a male child.

Please then tell us what other male people should get special exemptions from being treated as male people for safeguarding? Because, I think that history has taught us that no male people should be treated as exempt.

You don't seem to have even the basic grasp on safeguarding principles.

rosesrredviolets · 21/04/2024 20:40

I have no confidence it would be kept secret. I am certain they would speak to DD and all her friends would then know especially if it results in changes for PE or sports teams.

OP posts:
WickedSerious · 21/04/2024 20:44

Tandora · 20/04/2024 19:25

Are you saying the school should have outed this child to you? The genitalia of another child is absolutely none of your concern. YABU.

He's outed himself if he's pretending to be a girl.

It's a bit of a giveaway.

Helleofabore · 21/04/2024 20:45

rosesrredviolets · 21/04/2024 20:40

I have no confidence it would be kept secret. I am certain they would speak to DD and all her friends would then know especially if it results in changes for PE or sports teams.

This would mean that the school has not safeguarded your daughter.

clearmoon · 21/04/2024 20:47

BedBugs5 · 21/04/2024 18:31

The key point for me is that there is no evidence that cis female students are at any more risk from sharing accommodation with a trans female student than a cis student of the same gender.

Trans students are some of the most marginalised and discriminated against in the country. Clearly they cannot sleep with cis male students and I don’t see why they should be ostracised by having to have an individual room.

The needs of the trans individual should be prioritised. In most cases, that will mean being accommodated alongside cis female students. In some cases, it may be appropriate for a trans student to sleep separately, but this should be done following discussions with the individual and their parents.

Schools certainly shouldn’t be broadcasting intimate personal information regarding trans status to other parents.

"cis" is a highly offensive term.

There is a lot wrong in here, but that is appalling language, and disgusting

Lex345 · 21/04/2024 20:49

I for one am getting very, very angry that I am constantly having the label "cis" impose upon me. I am not "cis" anything.

I am a woman.

Respect of labels and preferred pronouns works BOTH WAYS.

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