Sister stole my baby name

[JessMathews8]

I'm really struggling to deal with this, my sister is 10 years older than me and has three children aged between 18 and 15. She was done witn having kids, has said this for years and years. But her new partner wanted a baby.I have a 6 year old boy, and currently pregnant with a girl. When I was pregnant with my son, before we knew he was a boy I had a girls name set and was after my Nana, always said that the next baby if its a girl I will name her after Nana, it took us 4 years of trying to get pregnant again.My sister got pregnant one month before I did and said that I'd she has a girl she will be using my Nanas name and it's her name, she's due first so she has first dibs.She didn't find out what she was having, but she gave birth yesterday, to a girl and has named her after my Nana.I'm due in 3 weeks, and feel so angry and upset she has used a name for the last 6 years I have said I would use if I have a girl, I found out its a girl at 16 weeks when she told me I could use the name as I know its a girl but shes literally just named her daughter it. Am I an asshole for being upset and mad?
My mum has told me I'm being unreasonable and she has always liked the name. Which she may of done but she always said she was done having kids, and everyone knew that it was the name I would use if I was to ever have a girl. I feel so hurt

Where I live it’s common for cousins to share the same name so use it anyway if the children ask you both liked it

I would still use the name. I have cousins with same name as me. I’ve never found it annoying or even strange. (I know some will) but if it’s something so personal to you I would definitely use it. Yes I get no one has exclusivity to a name but it’s a shady thing to do. It happened to me when I was pregnant with my first child and a cousin used the name I had chosen for a boy. I ended up having a girl anyway but when I had my son I chose the name regardless as it held so much meaning to me.

You are not being unreasonable at all, reading between the lines I feel there is more to your relationship with your sister. You feel betrayed and rightly so. As others have said, no-one owns a name etc, this is true, however it is the principle of how she has gone about it.
Stick to your guns and name your baby after your Nana like you wanted. You never know, depending when she registers her baby's birth, she may change her mind and choose a different name!
Honestly just go with what you have chosen for all these years or you will regret it. Doesn't matter if they have the same name. If family members comment, leave them to it. They know you had your heart set on this for all this time. The fact that you have been calling your bump this name too....hold onto that. Don't back down just because of what your sister has done, this name is obviously important to you.
I'm not saying it doesn't mean something to your sister, but it stands out that she has only chosen the name because you wanted it.
Good luck x

That’s a bitch move from your sister. Nobody owns a name but you had already named your daughter at 16 weeks.

if you get to register before she does, take the name back. Return the favour!

It's very common to have cousins with the same name as they are named after their grandparents. In some cultures the tradition is to name eg the oldest boy after the father's father etc. So if you like the name just use it.

YABU to think you can reserve a name.

If you love the name so much and have already given the bump that name then just go with that name.

Does it actually matter if they both have the same name?!? You did tell your sister that's what you were going to call your girl so your sister can't object to you both using it.

You’re making this a way bigger deal than it needs to be.

Use the name anyway. Doesn’t matter, they are only cousins.

Plenty of people use the same family names and doesn’t cause confusion.

You want your daughter to be unique and special so think your sister has ruined/spoilt this. That’s understandable.

My MiL and her sister had a brother who committed suicide. They both said they'd name their next baby after him and they did - both girls 6 months apart. They even both used the same diminutive. Don't think there were any issues about it.

Use the name if you want. No one owns it. But when she is born your daughter might look like a different name would suit her more. Don’t let this spoil your enjoyment of your new daughter

Just use the name - might piss her off but she clearly didn't care how you felt. In this day and age of blended families...my son's new 'step' cousin (uncle's step son) has the same name as him - it was weird at first but after a while no big deal. We started off big X and little X but now just use X for both.

Have you told her yet OP?

I think you have a right to be annoyed TBH.What has your DM said? how is your RL with DS normally. Maybe she didnt think .It would be a shame to let this upset your time with your baby . I think I would talk to her ,

I think the main issue is your sister being deceptive and you feel hurt and triggered. That is a separate issue. You are not that close I assume and she is showing her true colours. You have to move past that, let it fo and keep your distance. As for the name, use the one you want! You made it clear from early on that you were going to use your nana's name, your sister can use it too but the way she went about it was a bit shit. That's on hwr that the two cousins, same age, ha e the same name and clearly she's fine eith that lol as she didn't surely expect you to use a different name? She's had other babies she could have used that name or similar. If it's any consolation I have two cousins, from different aunts, called Alexandra and one has a brother called Alexander. Lol. It's actually sooo not a problem!

So did they, they said before OP found out that if they have a girl they are using that name.

OP finding out the sex changed nothing, she doesn't get to claim dibs.