Sister stole my baby name

[JessMathews8]

I'm really struggling to deal with this, my sister is 10 years older than me and has three children aged between 18 and 15. She was done witn having kids, has said this for years and years. But her new partner wanted a baby.I have a 6 year old boy, and currently pregnant with a girl. When I was pregnant with my son, before we knew he was a boy I had a girls name set and was after my Nana, always said that the next baby if its a girl I will name her after Nana, it took us 4 years of trying to get pregnant again.My sister got pregnant one month before I did and said that I'd she has a girl she will be using my Nanas name and it's her name, she's due first so she has first dibs.She didn't find out what she was having, but she gave birth yesterday, to a girl and has named her after my Nana.I'm due in 3 weeks, and feel so angry and upset she has used a name for the last 6 years I have said I would use if I have a girl, I found out its a girl at 16 weeks when she told me I could use the name as I know its a girl but shes literally just named her daughter it. Am I an asshole for being upset and mad?
My mum has told me I'm being unreasonable and she has always liked the name. Which she may of done but she always said she was done having kids, and everyone knew that it was the name I would use if I was to ever have a girl. I feel so hurt

No-one is taking anything out on a child FFS. Calm down!

As I and many others have said, MANY families have multiple people with the same name. I know MANY families including mine who have cousins with the same name. Taking it out on the child. LMFAO. Get a grip. 🙄

Good grief. The OP's child is not going to give a shiny SHITE that she has the same name as her cousin. 🙄

What ludicrous overreactions there are on this thread. Get a grip people. I do wonder how some people manage to make it through a day, let alone through their life!

I am calm. You're the one getting stroppy with multiple exclamation marks.

This isn't even about you and you are throwing your toys around in your hissy fit and acting as if you know those people. Very odd behaviour.

I couldn't give a flying fuck what you think and I am perfectly permitted to give an opinion. It's just that I am rational while you seen to be hot and bothered. Weirdo. 🙄

Just use the name. If she kicks off remind her that you told her that would be the name before she decided on the name for her daughter.

HNRTFT but I really get it. Can understand why you are feeling so hurt. I suggest you do what @WitchWithoutChips has suggested!

No one has said OP can't.

OP and PP are the ones pissed off at what someone else did with THEIR baby not the other way round.

Any normal caring sister would have had a heads up chat, explained they really want to call their DD also after the shared nana (understandable), said the cousins having the same name would be fine because xyz (don't see each other often, can have variation family nicknames, whatever etc etc).
Instead she's gone about it in a mean way, no acknowledgement of the potential way it could affect op's own choice, just blanked the whole thing, which is weird.
Ok, so technically there is no reason why she can't have the name obvs, but even those who are arguing that point... surely, most of you would use a bit more diplomacy in how you went about it wouldn't you?
Not just trample on someone (who you are close to) else's intentions thoughtlessly!?

How rooode!

Also the whole ttc background makes it mean as well.

No.

I never discussed my baby names with anyone except DH, its OUR baby and no one else got a say. Other people thoughts on our parenting choices literally do not matter.

The sister does not need to ask permission, come up with a solution for OP emotions or explain shit... she choose a name for HER child, end of.

but that doesn't even apply because for the record:

My sister got pregnant one month before I did and said that I'd she has a girl she will be using my Nanas name and it's her name. She didn't find out what she was having, but she gave birth yesterday, to a girl and has named her after my Nana.

My mum has told me I'm being unreasonable and she has always liked the name. Which she may of done but she always said she was done having kids.

^ I mean the 9 months she was pregnant was not a suprise, OP KNEW she was having another kid.

so OP did know she was planning this name for a girl because they DID talk and OP even acknowledged she had been told by her sister thats the name she was using and by family that her sister has also has always liked and planned to use the name... it wasn't a surprise at all.

Not wrong, though. Sorry.

@housethatbuiltme thanks, I had misread that part of the op.
I can still understand how that might be hard for op given all the background, but it's a family name and given the sister hasn't sprung it on her unexpectedly (the bit I'd missed) I don't think she's really done anything wrong.

I do think they're is a case for some consideration around other people's sensibilities even when they don't get a say, but sister was clear from the beginning as you say.

🤣 I meant from the point of view of having to always explain it wasn't Jacqueline but a made up version of the name and continually having to spell it out

I'd like you to call your baby your nana's name and to tell us your sister's reaction when she finds out. I think her behaviour is disgusting- yes, nobody owns a name, but you're sisters and have had lengthy conversations about this name, and no wonder you feel hurt and deceived with the lack of honesty.

No one stole anything. There’s no copyright on names. Use it or don’t.

I have the same name as my cousin and she's 6 months older than me. We are both named after our Nan.

Neither of us cared growing up, we did have different surnames though.

I think I would feel really odd giving my child the same name as my sister’s child. I am afraid I would have to relinquish ownership of the name and find something else.

@Spirallingdownwards
No, I’m Jacqueline, I’m in Surrey, my cousin Jackline is a geordie so it’s spelt how it sounds

You've conveniently missed out the part where at the OP's 16week scan and she knew she was having a girl and that the 2 sisters talked and the sister said that the OP should use the girl's name. So they literally had a conversation and agreed upon it months ago.

The sister then just did a group text to everyone to do a baby name announcement. She didn't do the decent thing and have another chat with OP about it. That is super super bitchy and, of course, will have been a shock to the OP.

So sister said OP should still use it... it never said anywhere that sister also wasn't using it. Sister clearly said it was her daughters name.

Sister just isn't petty enough to think she owns it and was confirming OP can name her kid whatever she wants... OP is the one thats trying to stop another mother naming her child when no one had tried to stop OP doing anything.

OP is the one acting entitled.

I'm 'Geordie' we don't pronounce it as Jackline or spell it like that... its nothing to do with location/accent.

My nanas name was Jacqueline.

Use the name. You chose it first.

I would use the name. It doesn't matter if cousins share a name, especially when a family connection is the reason for it.

@housethatbuiltme · Today 13:42
60sbird · Today 00:49

@Spirallingdownwards
No, I’m Jacqueline, I’m in Surrey, my cousin Jackline is a geordie so it’s spelt how it sounds

I'm 'Geordie' we don't pronounce it as Jackline or spell it like that... its nothing to do with location/accent.

My nanas name was Jacqueline.

Maybe you don’t, my family members in South Shields, all pronounced it Jackline

I would be just really blunt and say, I will be using the name as well as this is what we have referred baby to since we found out it’s a girl.