I’ve started throwing out whatever DH leaves on the floor

[Lollibert]

I’m at my wits end I don’t know how else to get through to My DH he leaves dirty socks on the floor, his dirty clothes, his leaves dirty dishes on the table leaves empty packets of his snacks everywhere now in the beginning I didn’t mind my DH works and I keep the home, I cook and clean and that was fine until I became a mum, and found out very quickly that cooking and cleaning childless vs cooking and cleaning when u have a child are too very different things, this all I ask of him,
one: put your dirty dishes in the sink you don’t have to wash it just please put it in the sink and pour a little water over the top until I can get to it (as I hate when he leaves it out and the food on the plate drys and becomes hard to get off)

two: put your dirty laundry in the washing basket

three: put your empty packets in the bin

four: take off your shoes at the door (he tracks mud in)

is that seriously too hard of a thing? We’ve had arguments where he said he works all day and I know he does he has a very physically demanding job and we ended up having so many arguments about it that he said fine he will do what I ask to save the arguments, that’s great except he still doesn’t do it says he forgot, if I remind him before he gets the chance to forget he says I nag him, so I think I had a mental break down tonight and threw out the dishes he left out on the table threw out the clothes he left on the floor threw out his muddy shoes that he was kind enough to take off IN THE LIVING ROOM after getting a trail of mud on the living room carpet which left me cleaning up a trail of mud and I swore to him from now on this is how it’s going to be I will throw out whatever he leaves out and I really don’t want to but I’m serious I can’t be the one in the wrong for this am I living in an alternate universe I don’t know how to get through to this man and he is so good in every other way except this I just can’t understand it

Yep - get a bin bag and throw EVERYTHING that this man-child leaves lying around. I hate men like this: their lives are either work or leisure and nothing else. Pisses me off.

I’ve done this aswell 🤦🏻‍♀️ I went absolutely mental because it was driving me crazy with OH and son leaving stuff at there arse I now need to buy a new dinner set

My husband is the same. I have to remind him to put his plate in the dishwasher. He rarely puts things in the laundry basket. He feds our cat and then doesn't put the box of cat food away. He never puts the book or magazine he is reading away . I could go on. We have been married for nearly 36 years, so I don't think he is going to change.

It honestly surprises me that any man acts like this.
my husband has always put his laundry in the basket, clears the table after I have cooked, takes his shoes off at the door, puts his own stuff away where it belongs…
I also do the same.
Together we have a naturally tidy environment.
our teenage daughter still needs a little reminder now and then but nothing gross! She wouldn’t track mud through the house or leave laundry on the floor. She isn’t great at loading the dishwasher and seems to not understand how to unload it… but she puts dirty things where they belong.
I genuinely don’t understand how any woman could cope with a man that leaves his shit everywhere! Where do these men even come from?!

I would just not wash/clean anything that wasn't in the right place.I did this with my ex husband and daughter and they soon realised that I meant it.

This is interesting; there was a thread that was reanimated I believe earlier this week about a husband that hid his wife's makeup bag because she kept leaving it out on the counter instead of putting it away. The response is she got were much different than these although the situation seems largely the same.

Teens I once walked into their bedrooms, couldn't see the floor, etc for clothes etc. I calmly opened the windows, threw everything out. Then I changed the sheets, hoovered, dusted and left two lovely clean rooms.

@Lollibert I'm with you

1. don’t move or wash his plate. Keep a clean plate for you and baby. Leave his to pile up where he leaves them until he has nothing to eat off. If you can’t cope with the mess, get a box and put it by his chair
2. Do not wash anything that isn’t found inside the wash basket. Leave it where he leaves it. If he wants clean clothes, he will have to move them to the wash basket. I’f you can’t cope with his mess, get a cardboard box and put all his s**t inside this.
3. Put empty packets in his car. If they are packets of things only he eats, stop buying these items altogether.
4. there’s no excuse for this as you have a baby and it’s extremely unhygienic. Do not clean up after him though. I would go on sex strike every time he does this until HE cleans it up.

Stop cleaning up his s**t. Move it out of your way but let him deal with it. He needs consequences or he won’t learn. I understand that he works outside of the home but he is fully capable of looking after himself and his things.

@steff13 one makeup bag is hardly the same as a house full of mud and mess, is it?

People are all put together differently that’s all. On top of that, they get brought up with different attitudes and expectations. Often very intelligent people can be quite messy because they tend not to focus so much on that more mundane level of functioning. Sometimes people have adhd issues which can make them struggle more with organisational tasks. Sometimes people just aren’t taught to do it. People just aren’t the same. Some people might struggle with aspects of your DH that don’t even register with you.

Wow, surely a book that is in the middle of being read can be left out. Sounds like you just look for things to be annoyed about.

Where did OP indicate that she hasn’t got enough laundry baskets? She’s not short of a laundry basket, she’s short of a decent DH.

Put everything into a black .Don't throw out

Sounds like my husband, he just refuses to take his shoes off at the door, I even leave slippers there, no doesn’t like slippers, got him house shoes, no, wears them outside. Leaves a trail of sweet wrappers all over the house. It’s like he just opens them and drops the wrapper on the floor. I can’t keep up with it all, it’s constant

He reads non fiction books, so doesn't complete one, before getting another one out. Result a pile of books plus mags not put away.

Jesus wept for the 7% 🤦🏽

I wouldn’t throw it out… BUT I would put it all on the back seat of his car!!

THIS. DEFINITELY

THIS. DEFINITELY

I'd throw him out he's so disrespectful in fact in the same position I did He's an abuser

😂😂😂😂😂

More likely he'll just leave it until the place is in complete squalor!

So many of these MN posts about stuff like this assume it’s normal for a woman to tidy up after her man. What a depressing means to an end. I never tidy up my DH’s stuff or do his laundry. There’s enough to do for me and the children.

If you want him to be tidier, have a proper conversation about why he needs to tidy up after himself and why you are too busy to do it now you have kids. You’ll end up bitter and resentful otherwise.

It sounds like some neurodivergence going on if he doesn’t mean it? Has he been tested for adhd or anything?
i agree with you on the face of it I would go absolutely mental as it really isn’t much you’re asking and it is basic manners (I’d be asking way more esp if you had more kids), but it sounds like there’s more to it

No offence @Silverfoxette but he sounds like a chauvinistic pig. You need to sort that out, it is completely unacceptable. And not your job! I couldn’t be with a man like that

@Mumof3confused you’re absolutely right, agree with all of this! In fact I had to do this with a uni housemate once cos she was disgusting