Love, darling, sweetheart etc.

[monsteraa]

I hear these words regularly from men, day in, day out - bus drivers, tradesmen, shopkeepers, etc.

I don't like it when men I don't know call me these things, I find it patronising.

Sometimes I want to say 'I'm not your sweetheart' (but of course I don't, I'm too polite).

AIBU?

FFS, yet another thing to be offended by!

I'm on the fence really. I don't mind when people call me these things. However, it's never happened in a work context and I am in a professional role where I'm respected. I can see if I felt I was not generally respected it would bother me more.

My colleague calls everyone babe. I hate it!!!

I love the regional variations. I get ‘darling’ from the man who gives me coffee from his kiosk each morning near my office in London, and ‘pet’ or ‘flower’ when I go to Newcastle. Gives me a fuzzy feeling, knowing I’m back home.

I say it all the time. I lived on the north for decades and it's very common there. Men and women ...I am originally from Wales also common place

I think it's warm and friendly.
Never heard it in the South tbf

Its better than Cock.which is quite common where's I live ,you all right Cock ,thanks Cock.etc.

I'm only called these things by other women.

FYI- it is possible not to like something and think it shouldn't happen but not be offended.
It's also possible to think that small things are important at the same time as thinking about big things.

Incidentally, I don't think anyone would think it acceptable for a a manager to refer to a middle aged man as "the boy from accounts." Or refer to his team as his boys. Or say "good boy" when handed a completed project.

I'd be buzzing for DAYS if someone around here (bus driver, shop worker, receptionist....anyone) called me babe or duck, or love. 😆Its a purely friendly, warm thing.

It's supremely patronising and over-familiar, whether it's said by a man or a woman. Endearments are fine from friends, but just bizarre coming from a complete stranger. Hate it.

Yes, I’m in London and hear “mate” more than anything else. With the odd awkward “bruh” or “fam” from the DC’s Uni crowd. 😜

There is no verbal homogeneity across all of London though! (Or whatever “language sameness” is called)

I don’t mind this. Once a a woman at Edinburgh airport security called me “my pet”.

They're terms of endearment. You've likely been called those things by loved ones, but not by strangers. The fact that men have called you those things is immaterial. I think it's nice and should be continued and encouraged. This world has too many awful people in it and the more pleasantries and endearment, the better.

I agree that it’s often a regional thing. I quite like it when I go up north as it comes across as natural and sincere.

It’s more unusual where I live and I don’t generally mind it, but on the odd occasion I’ve had it used at me by men in response to a polite request or challenge, and I’ve felt it was intended to ‘put me in my place’. A couple of times of times I’ve then added a ‘sweetheart’ or ‘darlin’ onto the end of my response, as I think it prompts them to reflect on the impact of their own words without us getting into a row.

I bloody hate it. Not least as it’s only happened since I got old and is usually uttered in a patronising tone with accompanying condescending simper. Just so fucking rude.

I don’t mind that so much, but when a 19 year old chugged called me “Luv”, I saw red.

In London "here y'are darlin" or "fanks darlin" all the time. Or "all right mate?"
I like it 😁

Long May these terms of endearment rein.
The thought of only speaking in sterile and politically correct terms is too cold and makes me sad.

I really like it. My local favourite is "duck" and it isn't just men that use it. If anything, I think I hear it from older women more than anything, and it's said to men too.

Oh yes! That’s what I hear. I couldn’t even think of it.

I am always awkward when someone says “all right mate?” as I actually say “yes, fine thank you”. Which apparently is a hilarious reply because they are only saying hello not actually asking how I am. Fucks sake.

It's just dialect / regional custom and I hear it as frequently from women as men. Believe it or not in some parts of the country human beings are friendly to each other even strangers. I'd say the same myself in certain circumstances.

We need to be able to tell the difference between creeps, patronising and common or garden everyday speech. It depends on the context rather than whether the person calls you sweetheart.

We haven't had this topic for at least a month...

It's a term of endearment and I don't mind it at all, in fact I like it. Men are often called 'mate' 'buddy' etc as well, it's just a friendly greeting.

Makes my day is someone calls me darling.

I really like it!
My mum was from Liverpool so I grew up hearing names...my grandmother called people 'queen', or say 'ee arr girl'..my mum used to call dubious people 'fandango' as in 'oh what's fandango doin now'

Is there anything left that people don't manage to be offended by? What a ridiculous thread.