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Bridezilla best friend

448 replies

Poshpaddington · 05/12/2023 13:36

My best friend of 25 years is getting married in the new year. She’s always been “protective” of me, constantly texting & checking up on me, turning up at my door if I haven’t replied so she knows I’m ok etc. (drives me mad but it’s her).
Throughout this wedding planning she’s got worse and been quite mean towards me. My DP & MIL think she’s being controlling.
She asked my dress size, then disagreed that I was that size saying “you aren’t that small, absolutely not” then ordered my dress 2 sizes too bigger. I tried it on last night and it’s hanging off my shoulders, so I look like I’m a child playing dress up in my mums clothes 😂 she refuses to get it altered and won’t allow me to take it to get it done (she’s kept the dress with her).
Shes told me my hair is too short so expects me to buy extensions for her wedding - I have shoulder length hair.
She got mad at me as I didn’t buy the £200 shoes she’s wants me to wear but instead o found similar & in the exact same colour, just cheaper.
She made me pay £400 for my room at the venue as she wants me to stay the night before & wedding night. The venue is a 3 hour drive away.
she just text me saying that her fiancé will now be sleeping in my paid for room the night before & I need to sleep in her bed with her & her baby (wtf!?) and won’t pay for the sheets to be cleaned & changed as she doesn’t see an issue with it.
my DP of 10 years has only been invited to the evening part as she doesn’t want me distracted throughout the daytime (wtf!).
all the other bridesmaids have their partners attending the whole day, as I found out at the hen weekend.
she’s just told me she has a sash for me to wear at the wedding that says “no alcohol” so that the bar tenders only serve me soft drinks as she doesn’t want me to drink, at all, so I can help her all day.
i have allergies to food, which she knows about, but decided not to include that when booking the wedding food and just told me to “leave it on my plate” but I won’t physically be able to eat anything that has touched the food due to cross-contamination or I’ll be covered in hives 😣 & possible using my Epi pen.
The hen weekend was horrible - they all snubbed me the whole time. Nobody engaged in a conversation with me and every time I sat near any of them they moved away - my best friend told me it’s “because you aren’t a mum or married yet so it’s hard to relate to you” 🤔

would I be unfair to just leave this friendship after the wedding is over?

my MIL & DP don’t want me to even go to the wedding but I can’t let her down. It’s not fair. I really don’t want to go under all these circumstances but we do have a long friendship that I am honouring.

OP posts:
yomellamoHelly · 07/12/2023 07:26

Make sure you get a refund on the hotel room and shoes

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 07/12/2023 07:29

I feel that she maybe didn't want you to be bridesmaid and is hoping by treating you this way you will 'resign'. Whatever she is horrible. Please leave the friendship now. FWIW my best friend turned into a horrible person in the run up to my wedding (conspiracy theory Covid related) and I still paid for her dress alterations when she refused to come and pick her dress and I paid for her hair and make up etc. We do not speak anymore and I regret having her

Deeks43 · 07/12/2023 13:25

You need to ask yourself, would you treat any friend like this? And if not WHY are you accepting this. Long friendship or not I can not see why you would honour it?
She said that her other friends were nasty because your not married or have children. What kind of excuses is that...in a way she is condoling what they did to you Is that a caring friend. Did she pull them up about it or just carry on.
This is not friendship and I feel you need to leave before the wedding.

MzHz · 07/12/2023 13:45

You’re a Christmas gift to us all @Poshpaddington

well done! Super proud of you and so pleased you have your DP to back you up

KentLife01 · 07/12/2023 18:15

Agree with everyone else. She's bullying you by treating you differently to her other bridesmaids. I would contact her and tell her you won't be attending and list the reasons why. It's almost like she wants you to pull out of the day by humiliating you in a dress too big ad making you wear a sash that makes it look like you're an alcoholic or a nightmare after a few drinks!! She's being irrational and I would not be a part of it regardless of how long ouve known each other.

RampantIvy · 07/12/2023 22:32

The OP has already pulled out @KentLife01

Tilllly · 08/12/2023 15:57

How're you feeling @Poshpaddington ?
You ok?

Goatymum · 08/12/2023 16:02

I think you should leave the friendship now, tbh it’s not an even a friendship.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 08/12/2023 16:52

That ship sailed a couple of days ago, @Goatymum.

toomuchfaff · 08/12/2023 17:10

I'd be leaving this situation BEFORE the wedding. This woman isn't your friend, she isn't looking after you, she isn't caring, she isn't nice.

I'm not sure why she wants you in a dress 2 sizes to big, with hives due to an allergic reaction to the food she didn't cater for, banning you from drinking, making you wear a demeaning sash to highlight you to everyone in the room as an alcoholic(!), I've no idea why she wants to strip you down so badly in public but it's not something I'd let happen to me. Cancel the room, return the shoes and run as far away from this horrible woman very fast.

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/12/2023 17:46

toomuchfaff · 08/12/2023 17:10

I'd be leaving this situation BEFORE the wedding. This woman isn't your friend, she isn't looking after you, she isn't caring, she isn't nice.

I'm not sure why she wants you in a dress 2 sizes to big, with hives due to an allergic reaction to the food she didn't cater for, banning you from drinking, making you wear a demeaning sash to highlight you to everyone in the room as an alcoholic(!), I've no idea why she wants to strip you down so badly in public but it's not something I'd let happen to me. Cancel the room, return the shoes and run as far away from this horrible woman very fast.

OP has pulled out, see update!

ToWhitToWhoo · 08/12/2023 18:19

She's not a friend, unfortunately. You're best out of the 'friendship'. I pity her fiance and baby.

AnonnyMouseDave · 09/12/2023 11:23

If OP had said "I am planning on attending the wedding, setting off stink bombs in the church and early in the reception, then announcing I've been shagging the groom, and throwing the cake on the floor as I storm out" I would vote YANBU.

LoyalMember · 09/04/2024 16:24

To put it succinctly, tell her to fuck the fuck off, and then get on with your life. You'll thank yourself later.

BMW6 · 09/04/2024 16:55

This is the second zombie thread you've resurrected LoyalMember that I've spotted. Any more to be discovered?

Please stop as its really annoying.

OhComeOnFFS · 09/04/2024 17:21

The thing is though that MN puts links to similar threads underneath and most people don't notice they are zombie threads. It's unfair to blame a poster for not noticing the date on every thread when MNHQ could easily show a thread was a zombie thread by using a different colour for the OP.

RockyRogue1001 · 09/04/2024 22:22

LoyalMember didn't even bother reading the thread though @OhComeOnFFS
They replied before even reading the all op's posts

LoyalMember · 11/04/2024 13:20

BMW6 · 09/04/2024 16:55

This is the second zombie thread you've resurrected LoyalMember that I've spotted. Any more to be discovered?

Please stop as its really annoying.

Are you the Mumsnet Police?

BluebellsareBlue · 17/06/2024 21:48

How have things been since the new year OP? Hope you have been left in peace x

Londonrach1 · 17/06/2024 21:53

I wish mnhq would lock posts older than 6 months apart from op updating on them

Demonhunter · 17/06/2024 21:58

She has zero respect for you and sounds quite envious of you. Cut and run beforehand, fuck her. You don't want the friendship anyway. She's a nasty POW.

BluebellsareBlue · 19/06/2024 14:52

Londonrach1 · 17/06/2024 21:53

I wish mnhq would lock posts older than 6 months apart from op updating on them

Edited

Why? I followed this thread from the start and im interested to know how the OP is getting on. Don't be so rude. Just scroll on by

Buryyiirwhat · 19/06/2024 21:32

Can’t believe that people like this exist!

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