Bridezilla best friend

[Poshpaddington]

My best friend of 25 years is getting married in the new year. She’s always been “protective” of me, constantly texting & checking up on me, turning up at my door if I haven’t replied so she knows I’m ok etc. (drives me mad but it’s her).
Throughout this wedding planning she’s got worse and been quite mean towards me. My DP & MIL think she’s being controlling.
She asked my dress size, then disagreed that I was that size saying “you aren’t that small, absolutely not” then ordered my dress 2 sizes too bigger. I tried it on last night and it’s hanging off my shoulders, so I look like I’m a child playing dress up in my mums clothes 😂 she refuses to get it altered and won’t allow me to take it to get it done (she’s kept the dress with her).
Shes told me my hair is too short so expects me to buy extensions for her wedding - I have shoulder length hair.
She got mad at me as I didn’t buy the £200 shoes she’s wants me to wear but instead o found similar & in the exact same colour, just cheaper.
She made me pay £400 for my room at the venue as she wants me to stay the night before & wedding night. The venue is a 3 hour drive away.
she just text me saying that her fiancé will now be sleeping in my paid for room the night before & I need to sleep in her bed with her & her baby (wtf!?) and won’t pay for the sheets to be cleaned & changed as she doesn’t see an issue with it.
my DP of 10 years has only been invited to the evening part as she doesn’t want me distracted throughout the daytime (wtf!).
all the other bridesmaids have their partners attending the whole day, as I found out at the hen weekend.
she’s just told me she has a sash for me to wear at the wedding that says “no alcohol” so that the bar tenders only serve me soft drinks as she doesn’t want me to drink, at all, so I can help her all day.
i have allergies to food, which she knows about, but decided not to include that when booking the wedding food and just told me to “leave it on my plate” but I won’t physically be able to eat anything that has touched the food due to cross-contamination or I’ll be covered in hives 😣 & possible using my Epi pen.
The hen weekend was horrible - they all snubbed me the whole time. Nobody engaged in a conversation with me and every time I sat near any of them they moved away - my best friend told me it’s “because you aren’t a mum or married yet so it’s hard to relate to you” 🤔

would I be unfair to just leave this friendship after the wedding is over?

my MIL & DP don’t want me to even go to the wedding but I can’t let her down. It’s not fair. I really don’t want to go under all these circumstances but we do have a long friendship that I am honouring.

Why the ever loving fuck are you letting her treat you like this @Poshpaddington ?

Drop her like a ton of bricks now, she's treating you absolutely horribly. You're not her friend, you're her toy to play with, to take her frustrations out on.

How can she be protective of you but also:
feed you food that will potentially make you very ill
make you pay out money for her partner
try to make you feel like shit about your (perfect;y normal) relationship/life status

She isn't protective of you at all - neither physically, financially or emotionally. Do you really want to protect her feelings?

For it to have reached this stage of madness you probably have been allowing it for years.
Just come to your senses and abandon the wedding, and shut off contact with her asap.

I agree. This can't be real.

This lady is a really horrible person- I really have no idea what her motives are - but ditch her now and leave her to her horrible gang , who sound like some kind of identikit stepford wives - she doesn't deserve you lovely , who does she think she is!!

She’s not a friend and you’re letting YOURSELF down going. It must be hurtful for your DH and MIL (people who actually care about you) to see you get treated this way.

This sounds made up.
Someone like this surely wouldn't still be your friend.

jump ship before the wedding

I only read half of that post and voted YABU. Yes bridezilla is being massively unreasonable however when people don’t say NO or say what they want eg the dress, she’s refusing to let you alter it….. did you then tell her you refuse to wear it unless it’s a smaller size or altered? Yeh she’s being totally crazy but so are you for allowing her to treat you the way she does without standing up for yourself

I'd leave before the wedding personally. Fuck spending loads of money on somebody you are going to ditch the moment the wedding is over -get it over with and tell her you won't be participating any more. You are her punch bag. She likes picking on you as it gives her a sense of control and power. I had a "best friend" who was like this and my life improved immeasurably when I decided not to see her anymore. Never one day of regret.

Leave now.

Wtf. Don't go!!! She must've been slagging you off big time, which is why none of her friends will speak to you.

Your Christmas gift to yourself this year should be cutting her off.

She’s always been “protective” of me, constantly texting & checking up on me, turning up at my door if I haven’t replied so she knows I’m ok etc. (drives me mad but it’s her).

Did this not alert you to the fact that she's completely fucking insane?

This 'friendship' is literally an abusive relationship. If a partner was behaving like this, they would be guilty of coercive control.

Don't wait until after the wedding, ffs. Walk away from her now.

Have you amalgamated all the previous Bridezilla posts into one for this? It's quite incredible that one person would do all these mad things.

I put you are unreasonable, cut your losses don't be her bridesmaid she's using you. Don't put up with this treatment. Cancel the hotel room

Good grief! Pull out now. Tell her to find someone else who will fit in the dress, with hair long enough, happy to (not) sleep in bed with her and baby despite paying an exorbitant amount of money and is willing to be humiliated continually for months then poisoned.
Give her the dress and ask for a refund for the room.

Please don't hesitate to leave this friendship behind. Like others say get refunds on what you can, and don't attend. What an awful way she has treated you and your partner. Her behaviour is unlikely to improve, unfortunately.

Yabu to call this woman a friend, she isn’t, @Poshpaddington

stand up for yourself, tell her that you’re not her bridesmaid

cancel your room and tell her you can’t be there anymore

She is not your friend. Get as much of your money back as you can (cancel the room, sell the shoes etc.) Then send her this "Unfortunately I am now unable to attend your wedding event due to reasons beyond my control. May I wish you the very best and do enjoy your day". Mic drop. Don't bother with someone like that again! She doesn't value you, and sounds like a bully (sash that says no alcohol?!! Buggar that!!) xx

This can't be real, surely. No-one puts up with this kind of treatment to massage someone's ego.

If it is real you need to leave this "friendship" now @Poshpaddington. Put your big girl pants on and tell her you aren't going, then block.

I wouldn't even go to the wedding
return the shoes, get a refund on the room if you can. send her her dress back

With friends like that you don't need enemy's

You need to put this 'friend' in the bin.

Absolutely do not go to her wedding.

Cut her off, ghost her, move to Yemen, whatever you have to do to end this friendship.

I can't believe what I've just read.