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Bridezilla best friend

448 replies

Poshpaddington · 05/12/2023 13:36

My best friend of 25 years is getting married in the new year. She’s always been “protective” of me, constantly texting & checking up on me, turning up at my door if I haven’t replied so she knows I’m ok etc. (drives me mad but it’s her).
Throughout this wedding planning she’s got worse and been quite mean towards me. My DP & MIL think she’s being controlling.
She asked my dress size, then disagreed that I was that size saying “you aren’t that small, absolutely not” then ordered my dress 2 sizes too bigger. I tried it on last night and it’s hanging off my shoulders, so I look like I’m a child playing dress up in my mums clothes 😂 she refuses to get it altered and won’t allow me to take it to get it done (she’s kept the dress with her).
Shes told me my hair is too short so expects me to buy extensions for her wedding - I have shoulder length hair.
She got mad at me as I didn’t buy the £200 shoes she’s wants me to wear but instead o found similar & in the exact same colour, just cheaper.
She made me pay £400 for my room at the venue as she wants me to stay the night before & wedding night. The venue is a 3 hour drive away.
she just text me saying that her fiancé will now be sleeping in my paid for room the night before & I need to sleep in her bed with her & her baby (wtf!?) and won’t pay for the sheets to be cleaned & changed as she doesn’t see an issue with it.
my DP of 10 years has only been invited to the evening part as she doesn’t want me distracted throughout the daytime (wtf!).
all the other bridesmaids have their partners attending the whole day, as I found out at the hen weekend.
she’s just told me she has a sash for me to wear at the wedding that says “no alcohol” so that the bar tenders only serve me soft drinks as she doesn’t want me to drink, at all, so I can help her all day.
i have allergies to food, which she knows about, but decided not to include that when booking the wedding food and just told me to “leave it on my plate” but I won’t physically be able to eat anything that has touched the food due to cross-contamination or I’ll be covered in hives 😣 & possible using my Epi pen.
The hen weekend was horrible - they all snubbed me the whole time. Nobody engaged in a conversation with me and every time I sat near any of them they moved away - my best friend told me it’s “because you aren’t a mum or married yet so it’s hard to relate to you” 🤔

would I be unfair to just leave this friendship after the wedding is over?

my MIL & DP don’t want me to even go to the wedding but I can’t let her down. It’s not fair. I really don’t want to go under all these circumstances but we do have a long friendship that I am honouring.

OP posts:
Youcannotbeseriousreally · 05/12/2023 13:39

This person is not your friend OP.

please cancel your hotel room and tell her the dress isn’t needed.

don’t go. Tell her why and then walk away to find people who value and respect you.

BouncesInBetween · 05/12/2023 13:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BoredofBlonde · 05/12/2023 13:42

Read it back as if you were another person.

Then say what 100% of other people will be saying on this thread.

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 05/12/2023 13:42

I’d cut and run now. She’s barmy.

PamFritters · 05/12/2023 13:43

She’s not your friend.

Can you honestly hand on heart say that you think any of this is normal? You dont owe her a single thing. Walk away now.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 05/12/2023 13:44

She sounds extremely possessive of you, in a very creepy way. I’d end the friendship before the wedding.

If this was a boyfriend we’d be citing controlling and coercive relationship.

FlappyFish · 05/12/2023 13:45

Why wait until after the wedding? She sounds an utter bitch and isn’t your friend.

LittleGreenFroggie · 05/12/2023 13:45

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

This. No way would I wear a dress that was hanging off me! Or share a bed with her and a baby! Just don't go,

horseyhorsey17 · 05/12/2023 13:46

She is a mad, bullying narcissist.

Cut and run!

Usernamesarenoteasy · 05/12/2023 13:47

Cancel the hotel room, return the shoes (unless you like them) and walk away from this 'friendship' as quickly as you can.
She's treating you like shit, and no matter how long you've known this woman, it doesn't appear there is any friendship left to honour.
Save yourself the money and the stress and just call it quits.

Rjahdhdvd · 05/12/2023 13:47

Don’t go; why should you honour a friendship where she’s treating you like rubbish? It sounds like the day is going to be awful; you’ll be tired, hungry and running round after her.
Also I suspect at the hen do she’d probably have said horrible things about you to the others as why else would they not talk to you

MinnieMountain · 05/12/2023 13:47

Of course you can let her down. She sounds awful.

KrisAkabusi · 05/12/2023 13:47

She's insane and needs telling. Before the wedding not after!

Sexlivesofthepotatomen · 05/12/2023 13:48

Don't go and fuck her right off

squeekychicken · 05/12/2023 13:48

She doesn't sound like a friend. Honestly I'd end the 'friendship' and move on. She's a controlling bully.

hopeishere · 05/12/2023 13:48

Bail now. She sounds bonkers.

carddino · 05/12/2023 13:48

Oh OP. You do not deserve this and she is not your friend.

Cancel the room, do not attend.

Throwawayme · 05/12/2023 13:49

Just leave this friendship now! She's off her head. Tell her you're stepping down as bridesmaid as her demands are really not reasonable. She'll then end the friendship and cause herself a massive drama and you'll be well out of it.

Jaxhog · 05/12/2023 13:49

Usernamesarenoteasy · 05/12/2023 13:47

Cancel the hotel room, return the shoes (unless you like them) and walk away from this 'friendship' as quickly as you can.
She's treating you like shit, and no matter how long you've known this woman, it doesn't appear there is any friendship left to honour.
Save yourself the money and the stress and just call it quits.

This. But don't walk away...run!

She is NOT your friend.

BobDylansMasterpiece · 05/12/2023 13:50

Why arent you standing up for yourself and putting up with this?

Oxfrog · 05/12/2023 13:50

Bridezilla would mean selfishly prioritising her own vision of an ideal wedding over other people’s feelings. This isn’t that. This is her sadistically humiliating you for kicks.

Jackfrostnippingatmynose · 05/12/2023 13:50

Cancel the room, return the shoes and don't go the wedding. And let her know exactly why.
She's no friend to you - in fact I'd say she's batshit crazy!

Charliecatpaws · 05/12/2023 13:52

I couldn't get past the part that the dress is hanging off you and she won't allow it to be altered 😱apart from all the other unreasonable things that she wants you to agree to. Sod that, just inform her that you are no longer wish to be her bridesmaid thus giving her time to find another mug

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/12/2023 13:52

I agree 100% - don’t walk away after the wedding, @Poshpaddington, run away now!

Her behaviour is toxic and, frankly, barking.

Jackfrostnippingatmynose · 05/12/2023 13:52

I'd say she's only invited you to the wedding as a babysitter (for her and her child).
Drop the rope!