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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or are most men just disgusting?

222 replies

Falalalalaa · 02/12/2023 09:59

Works Christmas party last night. Around 20 of us, pretty equal mix of men and women.

The men are field based so live all over the country, we only really see them at events like this. At least half of them, all married or with long term partners or children, were trying it on with a couple of the single girls from the office. They all had hotel rooms and we’re inviting them back, hands everywhere, making disgusting comments, it was just so seedy and sadly predictable.

I know it’s not all men, but still, it’s really fucking depressing. Is it the same at all Christmas parties or do I just work with scumbags?

OP posts:
enchantedsquirrelwood · 02/12/2023 20:26

Another reason why I find it exceptionally irritating when people bang on on here about how awful it is that women are forced to work instead of being at home raising their kids. Having more women in the workforce is a massive positive for those of us who are forced to work. I wouldn't want to wind the
clock back to a time when low level sexual harassment was de rigeur thanks very much

Really excellent point and not something I had considered before.

SharSharBinks · 02/12/2023 20:28

The Camberwell studies, admittedly back in the 60s has married men as the happiest, single women next, then unmarried men and married women least happiest. Lot of societal changes since then but still rings true.

I thought it was single childless women that were happiest, so potentially that's also a big factor. We certainly see a lot of threads on here from struggling mums.

BigFatLiar · 02/12/2023 20:33

ManAboutTown · 02/12/2023 10:20

Workplace culture I would suggest rather than all men

How would feel if I described all women as shallow self centred types who are obsessed by TOWIE and I'm a Celebrity

Used to be the norm for both men and women. Not just Christmas parties but also many overnight corporate events. People getting drunk throwing up, affairs/casual sex. A blind eye was turned to it and while I worked mostly with women I'd say many looked forward to it, a day away from husband and children, letting their hair down. If it wasn't your thing it was awful. I tended to have the meal and then make myself scarce. Fortunately those days are long past for us. Christmas 'dos' now consist of lots of trifle and jelly and over excited grandchildren. Much better.

UnpalatableButTrue · 02/12/2023 20:41

Overall, I wonder what will happen now as wfh increases?

People will have a very boring time of it. Flirting and communicating (particularly with the opposite sex) are fun. WFH is deadly. I suppose there's always masturbation, though.

chaosmaker · 02/12/2023 20:53

ElsieMc · 02/12/2023 17:18

Worst ever place I worked was a large firm of solicitors whose partners believed they had a right to any woman who worked there. My friend actually ended up hitting one of them after a junior partner called her a cxxx for no reason. They thought nothing of walking through the streets whilst drunk and throwing up as they walked along without a backward glance. Once at the venue, it was all a bit caligula, groping, snogging staff even taking young staff members to their cars etc. Just beyond gross people with an inflated opinion of their own importance. Needless to say I never went to any work socials and left without notice.

The female manager later told me when she took issue with such behaviour she was pushed over by one of the male staff at the meeting.

Were they public school background? Just cos of the entitled behaviour

bombastix · 02/12/2023 21:12

It's declined as women have got more senior. Basically if you want to be taken seriously you can't have parties where it's the gropers circus.

SharSharBinks · 03/12/2023 00:26

BigFatLiar · 02/12/2023 20:33

Used to be the norm for both men and women. Not just Christmas parties but also many overnight corporate events. People getting drunk throwing up, affairs/casual sex. A blind eye was turned to it and while I worked mostly with women I'd say many looked forward to it, a day away from husband and children, letting their hair down. If it wasn't your thing it was awful. I tended to have the meal and then make myself scarce. Fortunately those days are long past for us. Christmas 'dos' now consist of lots of trifle and jelly and over excited grandchildren. Much better.

I've defo seen the above, although it was a good decade ago. The worst men I've seen have been in sales/business dev but that may just be down to me working in that area for years.

TravelInHope · 03/12/2023 04:04

OhComeOnFFS · 02/12/2023 12:50

Older married man, younger single woman?

So your assumption is therefore that MOST single women have affairs with older married men?
Absolute bollocks.

Anyotherdude · 03/12/2023 05:44

@DonnaBanana I worked for one company from 1987 until 1996, and distinctly remember two colleagues being sacked for having sex in a broom cupboard at the office Christmas party…

Hardtime · 03/12/2023 14:32

Anyotherdude · 03/12/2023 05:44

@DonnaBanana I worked for one company from 1987 until 1996, and distinctly remember two colleagues being sacked for having sex in a broom cupboard at the office Christmas party…

I worked with a man in the noughties. In the 80's he was discovered receiving oral sex from a colleague. She was fired, he had a PhD, so had a future with the business and received no punishment.

Symposium123 · 03/12/2023 17:41

YABU. You just work with some awful people.

Dmak · 03/12/2023 17:45

I’m field based ? Really confused with your comment. I work with both men and woman and being honest some of the women I have worked with were shocking !

DelightfullyDotty · 03/12/2023 18:31

About 80 percent of the men at my company were like this in the nineties. Someone once told me that at some of the big events the company hired escorts.

It wasn’t just at parties though….at least one of the men in my department was getting up to all sorts of things in the disabled loo!

LalaPaloosa · 03/12/2023 19:23

It’s all work places. I had a revolting chain smoker randomly tell me he’d leave his pregnant wife for me… just what every woman wants to hear at work Christmas party. There is always one.

Naptrappedmummy · 03/12/2023 19:24

LalaPaloosa · 03/12/2023 19:23

It’s all work places. I had a revolting chain smoker randomly tell me he’d leave his pregnant wife for me… just what every woman wants to hear at work Christmas party. There is always one.

And you turned him down?? 😮 😉

AllyCart · 03/12/2023 19:25

Naptrappedmummy · 03/12/2023 19:24

And you turned him down?? 😮 😉

😂

Ilovecleaning · 03/12/2023 21:05

DonnaBanana · 02/12/2023 10:03

Back in the 90s and earlier it was pretty much expected along with sitting on the photocopier and copying your genitals and getting drunk and having weird flings no one would talk about ever again but we live in more enlightened times although more boring too

Photocopying genitals - yuk. Can you imagine women doing that?

MaggieBroonofGlebeSt · 03/12/2023 21:08

bombastix · 02/12/2023 10:23

You say this and people explode. Personally I believe it

Anti depressant prescriptions say otherwise.

Bromptotoo · 03/12/2023 21:10

Ilovecleaning · 03/12/2023 21:05

Photocopying genitals - yuk. Can you imagine women doing that?

I wouldn't have until I was doing some copying after a party at the office :-p

bombastix · 03/12/2023 21:11

@MaggieBroonofGlebeSt - and the number of men who commit suicide might suggest antidepressants aren't all that bad an idea. Honestly.

Ilovecleaning · 03/12/2023 21:23

Bromptotoo · 03/12/2023 21:10

I wouldn't have until I was doing some copying after a party at the office :-p

Edited

lol 🤣

godmum56 · 03/12/2023 21:49

You work with scumbags.

TravelInHope · 04/12/2023 02:05

EtiennePalmiere · 02/12/2023 14:30

Perhaps the lady doth protest too much...

Clever patronising remark. Yes, if someone believes something fervently they are clearly wrong.

Nofilteritwonthelp · 04/12/2023 02:06

At least half is quite a big proportion, I'd expect one or two

TravelInHope · 04/12/2023 02:09

OneMorePlant · 02/12/2023 15:23

Or maybe I don't look like you and get to see a lot more hidden vile behaviour because of it.

Clever sneery put down. You are the belle of the ball being chased by all those hands men, while I’m the old frump hiding in the toilets. Well done you, sister!

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