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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who drives?

234 replies

Vroomvroombeepbeep · 25/10/2023 11:37

Purely out of curiosity...

I was sat in the car with my DD at the services, watching the world go by, when she asked me: "Why is it always the man who drives?".

I looked, and she was right - every car with both men and women in it, a man was at the wheel! I didn't really know what to say to her...

So, when you're in a car with a member of the opposite sex, who's driving and why?

YABU - the woman
YANBU - the man

OP posts:
Poniesandrainbows · 25/10/2023 11:39

DH always drives. He loves driving. I'm happy to sit there and be driven around.

BIWI · 25/10/2023 11:39

I always drive. I like driving and I'm also a terrible backseat driver. DH gets bored and loses concentration, which makes my backseat driver very worried!

I'm also a better driver, which DH does acknowledge.

But my brother always thought it was very weird that he didn't drive/always let me drive. He clearly saw it as a man's job!

eurochick · 25/10/2023 11:39

Our usual routine is that I drive to places and he drives home, so 50/50. But for the first 15 years of our relationship he couldn't drive so it was all me.

CacenCaws · 25/10/2023 11:39

We usually take turns, though he probably does drive more than me as he enjoys it and I don't particularly

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/10/2023 11:39

My car, I drive. His, he does.

Forestdweller11 · 25/10/2023 11:41

9/10 I'll drive.
I'm not a terribly great passenger and my OH is better at navigating. Plus I seem to be able to drive for longer distances before needing to stop.

godlys · 25/10/2023 11:43

For us it’s pretty equally split, but I enjoy driving so I like having a chance to take my car! My sister on the other hand is not a confident driver at all, so her husband does all of the driving.

Justcallmebebes · 25/10/2023 11:43

I have a long commute for work and drive my GC's around a lot so am more than happy for DP to drive when we're together

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 25/10/2023 11:44

My husband usually does short journeys but I do long ones as I find driving the same roads really boring.

My SIL usually drives my brother as she really enjoys driving.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/10/2023 11:45

We split it 50/50 on long journeys. Shorter journeys I drive as we usually use my car

Nopenopenopenopenopenope · 25/10/2023 11:46

Tbh I default to having "the man" driving because I don't especially like driving. Or rather, I don't especially like other people's driving. I'm confident and competent but given a choice I'd rather just not.

usernother · 25/10/2023 11:46

I drive because I feel safer that way.

Kangaroobrain · 25/10/2023 11:47

DH drives most of the time. Sometimes it's because if I'm in a hurry I'll leave putting my makeup on until I'm in the passenger seat (I know, I know), sometimes it's because we've been out and he doesn't drink alcohol (so handy 😁), sometimes it's because I'm lazy and he's always happy to do it.

We'll share if it's a long journey, but I do hate driving on motorways as it's tedious, so it ends up being about 70/30 him.

Tdcp · 25/10/2023 11:47

I drive, DP has never learned so I do all the driving.

BettyBunMaker · 25/10/2023 11:48

Whoever feels like it

MissedItByThisMuch · 25/10/2023 11:48

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/10/2023 11:39

My car, I drive. His, he does.

Same.

DailyMailHater · 25/10/2023 11:48

My DH is an awful passenger and prefers to drive….i am not going to argue

Fionaville · 25/10/2023 11:49

DH drives on longer journeys, I've never given it much thought. I don't particularly enjoy driving on long motorway journeys and he doesn't mind them. It's just a habit we got into.

LubaLuca · 25/10/2023 11:49

I do more, definitely for local trips it's a given that I'll drive and most of our mileage comes from those I reckon (we live rurally, so every journey is a fair distance). We split long journeys. I'm a better driver than my husband and I enjoy it.

burntoutnurse · 25/10/2023 11:49

Dp works away at sea, so when he's home. He drives and I enjoy sitting and looking at the world out the window. Obviously when he's away, I drive Grin

PecanPeach · 25/10/2023 11:50

80% me. I passed my test about ten years before my husband so we never got out of the habit of me driving really.

Xiaoxiong · 25/10/2023 11:50

That's funny because in my experience I almost always drive, mainly because I'm a better driver and don't get as tired as DH does when he drives. Also I don't drink as much as DH so don't mind being the designated driver.

Annoyingfly · 25/10/2023 11:50

We share. Your "D" H has sexist confirmation bias.

Applerumleandcustard · 25/10/2023 11:50

I drive if in my car , but generally if we’re going somewhere together , we’ll go in his car as it’s bigger than mine
I like my car , DH doesn’t like it , I’m quite happy that way

FrenchandSaunders · 25/10/2023 11:51

Ours is a pretty even split really. I love driving, so does DH.

A friend's DH wouldn't ever let her drive if he was in the car, didn't trust her, ruined her confidence. She's now in her late 50s and scared to drive further than small local trips. Her DD has gone to a uni about an hour away and she won't drive to meet her for lunch or dinner. Best to keep doing it imo.

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