A carrot is NOT a suitable vegetable

[MrsFloraPoste]

Please settle an argument for me.

DH and I are both trying to improve our diets on the run up to Christmas, cutting down on booze, making food swaps etc.

This evening he has sat down in front of the television with a carrot instead of a bag of crisps. I know, I should be praising him right?

It’s just that I can’t forget my mother telling me that carrots are high in sugar and therefore not a diet food.
They also have suggestive connotations due to their phallic shape and I think if he is going to insist upon eating carrots he could at least cut them up so that they resemble something less crude.

He’s told me I’m barking mad.

But am I?

Wtf? You need help!

When I was in my twenties I made the unfortunate error of consuming a banana in an open plan office.

Did you work in an office with Sid James and Bernard Bresslaw?

Life is too short to eat a carrot instead of crisps.

Well, it will be if you habitually eat crisps instead of carrots!

You obviously get the lunatic gene from your disordered eating mother. Did she die of scurvy?

😜

Plenty of carrot in the roast dinner today!

Phwoar

Nah you’re right, I wouldn’t eat a whole raw aubergine. I’d eat a dick though.

🤣 That one was mad!

your mother is steeped in diet mentaility bullshit. where she got told by slimming world that a cut up banana was worse for her than a whole one and believed it.
fruit and vegetables are fine.
the sugar police are the only problems with the sugar and vegetable and fruit.

I am assuming he isn’t sat deep throating the carrot on the sofa?

OP will be making a new thread soon

‘AIBU to think my DH is gay? He only eats phallic shaped foods’

A thing I saw done by a colleague, and I wish I could claim I did this, was when we worked in the sales office of a comms company. It really was like a Carry On film at times, it was pathetic.... comments on clothes, hair blah blah. This was back in the 90's when it was officially not ok but unofficially just ignored as the bosses were worse if anything. But anyone who has spent any time in the offices of sales MEN will know what they can be like, its Egotestical.

She was eating a banana and one of them said something suitably Sid Jamesesque and she said "Wow, things have really tanked since X dumped you if you are getting off on me eating a piece of fruit". All the women were howling and all the men suddenly decided they needed a cigarette.....was so funny! Funnier because X had left him as he had been shagging the telemarketing manager, and she left him too!