A carrot is NOT a suitable vegetable

[MrsFloraPoste]

Please settle an argument for me.

DH and I are both trying to improve our diets on the run up to Christmas, cutting down on booze, making food swaps etc.

This evening he has sat down in front of the television with a carrot instead of a bag of crisps. I know, I should be praising him right?

It’s just that I can’t forget my mother telling me that carrots are high in sugar and therefore not a diet food.
They also have suggestive connotations due to their phallic shape and I think if he is going to insist upon eating carrots he could at least cut them up so that they resemble something less crude.

He’s told me I’m barking mad.

But am I?

Unless he eats it by sucking it and moaning you have absolutely no cause for complaint Hyacinth.

It depends on how you eat. If you low carb then they are, if you follow low fat or calorie counting then they're not, then you have eating for athletic fuel, weight gain diets blah blah......

It really does all depend. For the vast majority, they are fine but if you are actively seeking to lose weight it can make a difference depending on which eating style you have chosen.

He is right and you must be joking

Wtf? You can't be serious?!

Sigh.

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

That's it, in a 🥜🐚

Root vegetables are perfectly healthy, love.

<fondly remembers thread where someone said M&Ms were healthier than potatoes>

MNHQ is clutching its pearls tonight. I love that the image in this post is blurred out and has a sensitive content warning. It's a carrot. I'm sure our ladylike coyness can cope.

^^ @AllegroConMoto's post at 22.00. I thought it would appear as part of the quote. It didn't.

This thread has really tickled me. Carrot porn 🤣

He's got a penis you know.
You've got a choice here: pull an Olaf and shout "MY NOSE!" or alternatively prepare to be confronted with the dreaded penis in the bedroom and ask why it's not orange.
You never know, you could get one of your five a day if you have a nibble.

As Jilly Cooper would say - oh, I love undressed crudités in the living room! 🍆🌶🍌

If anyone on here ever recognises me in real life, and I get to this point, I am giving you permission to blow my head off with a sawn-off shotgun.

I wonder if the lads over on PistonHeads are having these 10 page long convos. Fucking hell.

Oh. Is this one of those threads that are supposed to be hilarious? Has anyone spat their brew out over their breastfeeding kid yet? Any references to "howling like Mutley"? Fucking christ on a bike.

You truly are barking mad 😂

Sigh. I hear you.

To be fair, OP may be feeling the same way WRT shotgun, as if she’s genuinely on a diet, she may just be sitting there hoping that someone will put her out of her misery.

And frankly, agree with you that OP jumped the shark over just the carrot.

If her husband had entered the room with a plate featuring an uncut carrot, banana, and courgette… well then. As it is, the single carrot is quite vanilla, and OP should probably get out more. As long as DH is still eating his vegetables on a plate, and not serving them in a pair of budgie smugglers, I think OP is drastically overreacting.

don't be one of those sad fucks who's always worried about what the blokes think.

Yes, it says you are either barking mad or very very uneducated on nutrition.

Try dipping them in peanut butter as the snack - delicious and also very good for you.

Woof woof. Yes, you are.

@MrsFloraPoste , are you in fact Mr Mybug?

😂😂😂

Crikey, you are an utter loon. Carrots are perfectly fine.

Your mum is wrong.
Carrots do have a bit of sugar but they are like 40 calories per hundred grams and an average carrot would probably only be about 75g so 30 calories is hardly an unhealthy snack. Ok so yes it might be double the calories of the same weight of raw cabbage but the difference is minor - you would be having to eat quite unfeasibly ridiculous quantities for the higher sugar content to actually do any harm to the diet plan. Don't criticise DH he is making some good choices and doesn't need your mum's neurotic rules.

ROFLMAO.
You are married to him yet are offended by the shape of a carrot?!