Was my bf BU when he said my vagina is loose?

[shamelesschocaholic]

I’m mortified to be posting this, but I want to show him this thread as we have just had words for the second time in two days!

I am a perimenopausal 46 year old woman. Without blowing my own trumpet, I still look good for my age, I wear a size 10 and I still like to have fun.

I have three kids with an ex partner who I was with for over 20 years. I’m in a fairly new (1 year) relationship and I’m madly crazy in love.

ivw been getting lots of UTIs which I think is due to perimenopause. Yesterday bf helpfully sent me a link to something he saw on YouTube about this and women’s sexual health generally.

When we discussed it, he matter of fact said my vagina was loose but this was to be expected as I’ve had three children. I was devastated by this comment, I actually felt so hurt. He can’t see what he said wrong as it’s “the truth”.

We have barely spoken, when I said earlier I have to get over it or end our relationship as it’s going to impact our (what I thought was an amazing) sex life he’s made me feel as if I’ve over reacted and am being sensitive. He just said he will, moving forwards be careful what he says to me when - before that he referred to how we always pride pursue on being open and I’d said that women are told negative things from young about their vaginas and it’s really knocked me confidence

pleasw let me know how you would have taken this as I’m so upset that he genuinely can’t see how upsetting this is and has tried to make me feel like I’m overreacting?

The utter lack of compassion, care, consideration, politeness, kindness ...

Also the tiny dick. Tiny dicks are a problem as men age. Only to be expected. No need to over react. Just stating facts here.

Yes to all the teeny tiny micro penis comments. That can be the only logical explanation.
Maybe he could go on line to see some helpful info about men's health and small willies

Another alternative to him having a small penis, is that he “death-grip” masturbates so he has got used to a really tight sensation to get himself off and isn’t used to a perfectly normal vagina.

Ask him if he grips too tightly when he wants and tell him there’s support groups online to help people like him who do that.

That’s a load of bloody rubbish for a start. I would say his penis is just small.

yes. So often they are.

I did have that comment once from an ex. he was a person who negged me constantly though because he was insecure and he liked having the upper hand. He also liked being with much much younger and very inexperienced women (which I was) because it meant we had little to compare with and / or were insecure.

he told me once that having sex was like 'waving an arm in a barn'.

I pointed out his erect penis was the size of my little finger (true, as it happened).

Boy did he make me pay for that comment, but it was the wakeup call I needed tbh.

“ wants” was autocorrected. Replace the t with k

What vagina is going to be virgin tight after three kids, mine wasn't after one. My last husband had a 10 incher and so we fitted perfectly.
But if yours is Mr Average then you don't match.
Maybe you should find someone who matches if he is going to be this disrespectful.
What does he expect you do do with this information? Is he offering to pay for your £10k vagina op? If not then shut up.
If he was my boyfriend he'd be out the door.
Vaginas vary in size just the same as penis's.

Either way hardly a catch….

I love all of the posters who are offended by the OP's boyfriend's comment, but perfectly happy to throw around "small dick" as an insult. Why is this still acceptable?

OP: people say dumb stuff sometimes. I once complained about the size of my muffin top, and my husband said comfortingly "That's not a muffin top, those are love handles." He really thought he was being helpful! The difference is that when I reacted in a negative way, he was mortified. He would never want to say something that would upset me. The fact that your boyfriend isn't reacting like that, and is saying you shouldn't be upset because "it's the truth" is a little concerning.

Perhaps he's looking for an excuse to end things? Either way, tell him his cock is small and that you'd prefer to be on your own rather than be with such a thoughtless twat.

'No, I love anal - he actually followed it with an “I can fuck your arse joke” which I’d usually find hysterical'

This is utterly grim.

Absolutely this.

God but this is really grim.

Up your standards OP, if you seriously think decent men speak like this.

Perhaps do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk to learn what boundaries and self respect look like.

I would be mortified to be in a relationship with such an utterly grim specimen.

Dim AND grim about describes him.

OP I don’t like the sound of this guy. He’s trying to neg you and make you lack confidence. His comment and behaviour afterwards would be a massive red flag 🚩 for me …..

You can kinda see how they got to such a grim situation. Yuk 🤢

When he tears a hole in your bowel and/or you are riddled with STIs you might wish you had invested in some therapy to increase your self esteem.

@RonObvious , I think the point is that they wouldn't say that. People are using it to show how unacceptable OP's BF's comment is.

Agree with all the other comments.. your boyfriend is a arsehole. I'd never want to have sex with him again after this.
Also agree that if you move on and stay it won't be long at all until every time you have sex it will be anal. Textbook cunt.

Whatever else @shamelesschocaholic believes that her twat of a man loves her and didn’t mean to hurt her. Super.
So they’ll stay together and her self-esteem can just be battered into oblivion ad nauseum like her poor vagina and Arse.
SMH.
He obviously adores you OP 🙄

He doesn't love you. He wants you to feel insecure and unworthy of him. He used you mentioning a UTI to get a serious insult in that had absolutely no relevance to the conversation. I couldn't be with a creep like that, he'll only get worse.

This thread honesty makes me shrivel!!!

I’ve also heard the term ‘like throwing a hot dog up a back alley’. Really respectful isn’t it ? OP, this man doesn’t have any respect for you, why are you still there ?

He might have a bigger dick but maybe not much girth then.
My ex was bigger than my current partner but nowhere near as hard-having sex with my now partner is so much better!! Size isn’t everything at all.

Why would you want to have sex with anyone who makes you feel anything other than fabulous?

That comment was despicable. That is why it hurt.

He doesn’t care for you. You say he loves you but that comment was not loving.

He thinks of you as a series of orifices for his penis to go. And one of them isn’t up to standard according to him.

As others have said, it is grim.

His comments. His opinion of you. His attitude.

He is grim.

I agree it’s disgusting and not loving or kind 🤢

Nailed it.