Was my bf BU when he said my vagina is loose?

329 replies

shamelesschocaholic · 23/08/2023 11:59

I’m mortified to be posting this, but I want to show him this thread as we have just had words for the second time in two days!

I am a perimenopausal 46 year old woman. Without blowing my own trumpet, I still look good for my age, I wear a size 10 and I still like to have fun.

I have three kids with an ex partner who I was with for over 20 years. I’m in a fairly new (1 year) relationship and I’m madly crazy in love.

ivw been getting lots of UTIs which I think is due to perimenopause. Yesterday bf helpfully sent me a link to something he saw on YouTube about this and women’s sexual health generally.

When we discussed it, he matter of fact said my vagina was loose but this was to be expected as I’ve had three children. I was devastated by this comment, I actually felt so hurt. He can’t see what he said wrong as it’s “the truth”.

We have barely spoken, when I said earlier I have to get over it or end our relationship as it’s going to impact our (what I thought was an amazing) sex life he’s made me feel as if I’ve over reacted and am being sensitive. He just said he will, moving forwards be careful what he says to me when - before that he referred to how we always pride pursue on being open and I’d said that women are told negative things from young about their vaginas and it’s really knocked me confidence

pleasw let me know how you would have taken this as I’m so upset that he genuinely can’t see how upsetting this is and has tried to make me feel like I’m overreacting?

OP posts:

over50andfab · 24/08/2023 18:34

LateSummerLobelia · 24/08/2023 17:59

I had a feeling it was not totally a joke.

When I got stitched up i was stitched too tightly and at my 6 week check it was actually commented on by the HCP.

Sex has been extremely painful ever since tbh. I even went to my GP to say i was having trouble and she gave me dilators and told me to have a good bottle of wine before getting frisky.

I'm 50. My oldest is 13.

I am feeling a bit queasy now tbh. 'The husband Stitch'.

Following my last thread if you haven't already suggest you discuss using topical estrogen with your GP. As we get older and entering menopause the tissue loses elasticity and becomes thinner and weaker. Estrogen (would suggest estriol cream if in the UK as can be used at the vaginal entrance right where it's needed) can help with this. Once this has started to help, then would be a good time to use dilators with plenty of lube (eg Yes OB).

SnowWhiteAndTheTwoKids · 24/08/2023 18:45

over50andfab · 24/08/2023 18:28

I've already responded once in this thread, but will say again - Yes our vaginas CAN become loose from perimenopause onwards (which the OP has said she is in) along with getting UTIs (which can actually be UTI type symptoms but not actually UTIs).

When I last had sex my vagina felt progressively more like a cavern - and like the OPs partner (for the large number of those who have not bothered to read the OPs posts) my partner was also well endowed.

And YES there is something that can be done about it - I am fully plumped up now ☺️. So do read and file away as this will happen to many women

https://balance-menopause.com/uploads/2021/09/Vaginal-dryness.pdf

What have you had done? Share the love! 😉

over50andfab · 24/08/2023 19:18

@SnowWhiteAndTheTwoKids check the link which should tell you all you need to know

AInightingale · 25/08/2023 10:41

Horrible for her @ManonDe. I can't get over how much damage surgeons did, or why it was ever considered a good idea to embed so much plastic in the human tissues. Even shudder thinking about things like the copper coil which can cause perforations

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