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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you dont accidentally text your ex this....

243 replies

MaxwellCat · 27/07/2023 22:01

My ex text me the other night "I love you" we haven't spoken in around 2 months or more and we've been split up for 6 years (though we have children so still in contact sometimes) everyone has told me it was obviously an "accident" aibu to think you dont "accidentally" text your ex of 6 years that you love them? How is that an accident? We haven't spoken in 2 months so I would imagine im pretty far down on his messages, also this was text message (he is blocked on whatsapp) and i imagine 99% of people communicate over WhatsApp especially if it was meant for someone he was dating! I know I don't even text anyone anymore but he was still far down from all the other texts I receive from random places. Why do people try to say this stuff is an accident when it clearly wasn't 🤔 aibu to think you dont accidentally text your ex you love them? (Fair enough if we was just speaking a few days ago but we haven't spoken in months)

OP posts:
Nellynoowhoareyou · 28/07/2023 00:13

Struggling to see why it matters. He’s your ex. They say all sorts of shit.

prh47bridge · 28/07/2023 00:17

MaxwellCat · 27/07/2023 22:16

Don’t have to read? It’s silly to tell someone it’s an accident.

Show quote history

Why is it silly to say it is an accident? It is a very odd thing for him to do out of the blue after 6 years. It could be that your name is next to his current partner's alphabetically and he picked the wrong one, for example. I once rang an ex by mistake and told her I loved her before I realised I had dialled the wrong number.

It might be an accident, or he might have been drunk when he sent it. Either of those explanations is more likely than him deciding to tell you he loves you after 6 years. But if you want to know, you will have to ask him.

QuestionableMouse · 28/07/2023 00:19

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:08

well my ex DOES use WhatsApp so 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Yeah but you said "also this was text message (he is blocked on whatsapp) and i imagine 99% of people communicate over WhatsApp especially if it was meant for someone he was dating!"

Which isn't really true. Just pointing out that there's plenty of people who don't use WhatsApp and would text instead.

BrownHairedGirlWithTheBrightestSmile · 28/07/2023 00:25

You said on your other thread he wrote ‘love you’, now it’s ‘I love you’. Why have you added the ‘I’.

You want this to be something it’s not.

TheLadyofShalott1 · 28/07/2023 00:25

Sorry @MaxwellCat I'm giving up reading at the bottom of page 2, as your replys just keeping on being the same thing, and it is getting a tad monotonous. Either
a) you want him to still love you because you still love him?

Or (and I hope it isn't this reason as that would make you not very nice):

b) You want to be able to gloat to both your family and friends that "ha ha, he still loves me, it serves him right as I hate him."

Katrinawaves · 28/07/2023 00:25

Could also have been intended for someone, not his current partner, who doesn’t use WhatsApp. His mum, a grandparent or sibling or one of your kids for example. Lots of reasons why he might have texted but you weren’t the intended recipient

DahliaRose3 · 28/07/2023 00:27

This is such a pointless thread (rolling my eyes), and I say this as someone will sit on Reddit for hours. Why don’t you be an adult and ask him, instead of going around in circles. You’re not psychic, neither are we.

This must be a joke thread.

Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:29

BrownHairedGirlWithTheBrightestSmile · 28/07/2023 00:25

You said on your other thread he wrote ‘love you’, now it’s ‘I love you’. Why have you added the ‘I’.

You want this to be something it’s not.

Oh yeah because that makes a massive difference 😂 are you insinuating it means someone else loves me 🤣 you caught me out 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:31

MN is really funny will really go to great lengths to try to tell you it’s all in your head, his number text me I love you/ love you, yeah the missing I really makes a difference, what difference exactly? 🤣

OP posts:
BrownHairedGirlWithTheBrightestSmile · 28/07/2023 00:33

Oh yeah because that makes a massive difference 😂 are you insinuating it means someone else loves me 🤣 you caught me out 🤦🏻‍♀️

There’s a big difference. ‘I love you’ is much more intimate than ‘love you’ which is much more casual.

Katrinawaves · 28/07/2023 00:34

There is quite a big difference to be fair.

if a colleague did something sweet like bring in a cake for your birthday, “love you” would be an acceptable thing to say with no romantic meaning behind it.

Likewise, standing at the alter looking into your new spouse’s eyes after exchanging vows, “love you” would be odd and flippant.

Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:35

Katrinawaves · 28/07/2023 00:34

There is quite a big difference to be fair.

if a colleague did something sweet like bring in a cake for your birthday, “love you” would be an acceptable thing to say with no romantic meaning behind it.

Likewise, standing at the alter looking into your new spouse’s eyes after exchanging vows, “love you” would be odd and flippant.

We haven’t spoken in 2 months so he wouldn’t be thanking me for anything…..

OP posts:
Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:35

And no it’s not normal to say love you to a colleague but whatever 😂

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Katrinawaves · 28/07/2023 00:35

Thinking about it my BIL and I often text each other “love you” and there is definitely no romantic element on either side. If just means that we are very fond of each other and on the same wavelength

Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:36

Katrinawaves · 28/07/2023 00:35

Thinking about it my BIL and I often text each other “love you” and there is definitely no romantic element on either side. If just means that we are very fond of each other and on the same wavelength

Me and my ex do not get on so very different situation

OP posts:
Katrinawaves · 28/07/2023 00:38

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:35

We haven’t spoken in 2 months so he wouldn’t be thanking me for anything…..

Show quote history

But if this was a fat fingered misaddressed post it widens up the range of people it could have been intended for.

Context is key @MaxwellCat and the real wording of the text is very significant here!

Why do you need the validation that he has a burning (unrequited?) love for you? What’s going on in your real life that makes this important for you?

chaosmaker · 28/07/2023 00:40

@MaxwellCat why does it matter?

CallieQ · 28/07/2023 00:41

Why do you care?
You must be still in love with him

Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:41

Once again me and my ex don’t speak at all we are not friends and this isn’t usual behaviour for us, we don’t text each other love you etc, I think I will just ask him..

OP posts:
Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:43

im just going to let him know he text the wrong person…..

OP posts:
IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 28/07/2023 00:44

I really don't understand the big deal with all of this?

Do you want him to be in love with you? Because even if he was (which he probably isn't) he sounds like a dick who doesn't even bother with his kids much so why would it matter?

Oh and people do still text (me included).

ladydimitrescu · 28/07/2023 00:45

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:31

MN is really funny will really go to great lengths to try to tell you it’s all in your head, his number text me I love you/ love you, yeah the missing I really makes a difference, what difference exactly? 🤣

Why have you bothered to post on a Facebook page and 2 threads here if you don't like any answers and disagree with absolutely every comment? Honestly, what is the point?
You are absolutely thrilled he's sent that and want several comments telling you he still loves you, either for a boost or because you want him back. Either way, figure it out - but stop arguing with strangers online because you're conflicted over your own feelings.

HimAndHisGuitar · 28/07/2023 00:51

There’s a big difference. ‘I love you’ is much more intimate than ‘love you’ which is much more casual.

Agree with this. They’re very, very different.

WandaWonder · 28/07/2023 00:53

So an ex who you are not in love with has done something you don't get but rather than ask them you are thinking and posting heaps about it but you are not in love with them, ok.