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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you dont accidentally text your ex this....

243 replies

MaxwellCat · 27/07/2023 22:01

My ex text me the other night "I love you" we haven't spoken in around 2 months or more and we've been split up for 6 years (though we have children so still in contact sometimes) everyone has told me it was obviously an "accident" aibu to think you dont "accidentally" text your ex of 6 years that you love them? How is that an accident? We haven't spoken in 2 months so I would imagine im pretty far down on his messages, also this was text message (he is blocked on whatsapp) and i imagine 99% of people communicate over WhatsApp especially if it was meant for someone he was dating! I know I don't even text anyone anymore but he was still far down from all the other texts I receive from random places. Why do people try to say this stuff is an accident when it clearly wasn't 🤔 aibu to think you dont accidentally text your ex you love them? (Fair enough if we was just speaking a few days ago but we haven't spoken in months)

OP posts:
PatrickGammon · 28/07/2023 00:53

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:43

im just going to let him know he text the wrong person…..

Christ, OP. Shit out get off the pot already.

Wasted valuable minutes reading this crap.

HimAndHisGuitar · 28/07/2023 00:55

If an ex text me this, I would just think “weird” and move on. It wouldn’t be important to me at all, whether it was real, a mistake, a piss take, a prank, game playing or anything else. I wouldn’t care, life has moved on, more so because he treats my kids like shit! He’s a dick and you come across as desperate.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 28/07/2023 00:59

HimAndHisGuitar · 28/07/2023 00:51

There’s a big difference. ‘I love you’ is much more intimate than ‘love you’ which is much more casual.

Agree with this. They’re very, very different.

Whether he was meant to sound casual or intimate, it wouldn't matter if you didn't care about him anymore though.

Notatallanamechange · 28/07/2023 01:02

You blatantly just want to hear the thing you want to hear. He still loves you. Happy?

This is like kids passing notes in class. Mental. Grow up and ask him. No one here can tell you what he means. That or just move the hell on!

MistyGreenAndBlue · 28/07/2023 01:03

I don't think he texted you at all. Sounds more like a scammer spoofed his number to me.

If you must respond, do not hit reply. Better to find another way to contact him. He might want to get his number changed.

HimAndHisGuitar · 28/07/2023 01:04

Whether he was meant to sound casual or intimate, it wouldn't matter if you didn't care about him anymore though.

Of course. And how she could be interested in someone that’s treated her and her kids the way he has, I really don’t understand. It screams desperation but I expect it’s from low self esteem etc so it’s sad really.

Notatallanamechange · 28/07/2023 01:06

MistyGreenAndBlue · 28/07/2023 01:03

I don't think he texted you at all. Sounds more like a scammer spoofed his number to me.

If you must respond, do not hit reply. Better to find another way to contact him. He might want to get his number changed.

Hahahahahahahaha.

user1492757084 · 28/07/2023 01:32

Did one of the kids send it?

Toomuchchocolate42 · 28/07/2023 01:54

It's quite obvious that you think you love him and you want strangers online, whom don't know you, nor him, to tell you it means he loves you & because your not hearing what you so desperately want to hear, you are being rude to everyone.

I have bad news for you. You haven't spoke in 2 months, you have him blocked & yous don't get on - that's not love!

Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 01:58

I would say the comments towards ME have been extremely rude actually! There is another thread on here where someone’s friend has sent them a drunken message and the comments are saying he obviously meant it and what someone says whilst drunk is clearly their real feelings but as soon as you mention ex it’s nope he was drunk and didn’t mean any of it 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Ladypenelopesdog · 28/07/2023 02:11

He's an "ex" for a reason - keep it that way.

Ladyj84 · 28/07/2023 02:14

MaxwellCat · 27/07/2023 22:28

The majority of people communicate over WhatsApp…

Show quote history

Just because you chose watsap does not make it the majority! I have a massive friend group and we ain't on watsap

WandaWonder · 28/07/2023 02:17

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 01:58

I would say the comments towards ME have been extremely rude actually! There is another thread on here where someone’s friend has sent them a drunken message and the comments are saying he obviously meant it and what someone says whilst drunk is clearly their real feelings but as soon as you mention ex it’s nope he was drunk and didn’t mean any of it 🤷🏻‍♀️

So you want him to mean it?

Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 02:17

Ladyj84 · 28/07/2023 02:14

Just because you chose watsap does not make it the majority! I have a massive friend group and we ain't on watsap

Show quote history

ok? Well the majority of people I know then 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I know my ex only communicates over it and has never once sent the kids a text message

OP posts:
LightDrizzle · 28/07/2023 02:23

I recently messaged our pool guy “Can’t wait to see you tomorrow! x”. By chance DH was flying back home the next day which happened to be the same day of the week the pool man comes. 😳
It was 100% an accident and he believed me. Luckily I spotted it very quickly and sent another message explaining.
I don’t understand why you are so invested in this when it’s an ex. Does it matter much either way?

uncomfortablydumb53 · 28/07/2023 02:31

Why don't you just ask him if the text was meant for you?
No law against replying and then you'd have your answer
My guess is he was pissed

MsCactus · 28/07/2023 03:15

If I messaged an ex "love you" at 5am I have to say it would be a drunk booty call from me. I have actually done this to people I want to sleep with when I'm drunk.

I'd say it means he probs wants to sleep with you.

The other poster's drunk text was quite comprehensive and also wasn't an ex - it was a friend declaring their feelings for the first time. Again, if I sent something like that in a drunk ramble to a friend it'd be because I'd started to fancy them.

decaffonlypls · 28/07/2023 03:34

1, he still loves you - would you reciprocate?
2, it was an accident
3, it was a drunk nostalgic moment it doesn't mean anything
4, he was horny

That pretty much covers your options. If you want to know you need to ask

marcopront · 28/07/2023 05:43

Can you really not see the difference between the detailed ramblings in the message on the other thread and the two or three word message you got?

What do you want it to mean?

greenteaandmarshmallows · 28/07/2023 05:49

He loves you. Now move on

Berklilly · 28/07/2023 06:09

Not sure why everyone is obsessing over your intentions OP, does it really matter?

I agree with you, it's not a mistake. And from what you said, he hasn't tried to pretend it is?

It's possible that he was nostalgic of your relationship, and maybe had a few drinks, and texted you to see your reaction. If you're not interested, the best is to ignore and not reply. If you are then you can simply ask him "was this meant for your gf?"

It's also possible that he is messing with you, but I think you would if he the type of person who does that?

Nanaof1 · 28/07/2023 06:34

MaxwellCat · 27/07/2023 22:18

He does struggle with his MH so this is possible

Show quote history

Depending on your level of compassion to someone who treated you horribly, you can always reply with, "Hi. Are you okay? Just wondering since you sent me a text that is unusual for you."

TwinsPlusAnotherOne · 28/07/2023 07:55

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 01:58

I would say the comments towards ME have been extremely rude actually! There is another thread on here where someone’s friend has sent them a drunken message and the comments are saying he obviously meant it and what someone says whilst drunk is clearly their real feelings but as soon as you mention ex it’s nope he was drunk and didn’t mean any of it 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP, I'm very sorry but it's nothing to do with him being your ex, but existing knowledge from your numerous threads.

This person doesn't have anything to do with you. Doesn't want to see, or pay for his own children. Left you 6 years ago. Is not a nice, nor decent person.

You need to work on yourself and move on. It's clear you still love him.

You wanted his motive? Look at these threads. He sends that. And here you are on day 3 of "riddle solving" and "but what does it meeaaannnnnn" on the internet. That's what he wanted. The way you were guaranteed to respond.

Easier said than done, but you need to move on, for your sake.

Incidentally, if my ex, out of the blue, in the day time, had sent me "I love you" I would probably ponder that for an hour or so, wonder what was going on with him, and not respond, as I'm married. Might make me smile, it's nice to hear that someone cares, but that would be the extent of it. The timing and the words would make me think it was genuine. Plus, my ex treated me very well.

Very, very differently, if my ex, at night, had text "love you", I would less smile, more laugh, and quite possibly text back "Hungover? 😄" the following morning.

If I got the latter, like you did, and my ex has treated me like yours has, I would simply think, "not today, satan" and get on with my day.

Bodybop · 28/07/2023 08:17

TwinsPlusAnotherOne · 28/07/2023 07:55

OP, I'm very sorry but it's nothing to do with him being your ex, but existing knowledge from your numerous threads.

This person doesn't have anything to do with you. Doesn't want to see, or pay for his own children. Left you 6 years ago. Is not a nice, nor decent person.

You need to work on yourself and move on. It's clear you still love him.

You wanted his motive? Look at these threads. He sends that. And here you are on day 3 of "riddle solving" and "but what does it meeaaannnnnn" on the internet. That's what he wanted. The way you were guaranteed to respond.

Easier said than done, but you need to move on, for your sake.

Incidentally, if my ex, out of the blue, in the day time, had sent me "I love you" I would probably ponder that for an hour or so, wonder what was going on with him, and not respond, as I'm married. Might make me smile, it's nice to hear that someone cares, but that would be the extent of it. The timing and the words would make me think it was genuine. Plus, my ex treated me very well.

Very, very differently, if my ex, at night, had text "love you", I would less smile, more laugh, and quite possibly text back "Hungover? 😄" the following morning.

If I got the latter, like you did, and my ex has treated me like yours has, I would simply think, "not today, satan" and get on with my day.

Show quote history

Really good answer!

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 28/07/2023 08:20

What is it that you want to hear? We don't know his motive, probably to mess with your head which has worked as you're obsessing over it. Ask him or ignore him. Don't tie yourself in knots wondering.