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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That's my bench - was aibu

295 replies

Blueysmumagain · 17/07/2023 06:17

Genuinely couldn't get over this yesterday. Appreciate its a tiny thing

Husband and I at busy park with 5 yo

Plenty of benches free. One 4 person bench with a pram next to it but no one sitting on it. No bags or coats on bench etc. An empty bench

Husband and I sit at one end. Still space for 2 other people

Woman comes over, picks up pram, and says - in the most passive aggressive tone - "that was my bench actually. But don't you worry about it. I suppose you expect me to move now. Unbelievable

I said "I am very sorry - there is plenty of space, we assumed it was okay"

She walked off to 2 benches down and for the next ten minutes proceeded to tell her friend, when she came over, just how unreasonable we were

Was ibu? Is this a new rule I have missed? Could not believe the looks she kept giving us
.

OP posts:
pictoosh · 17/07/2023 06:20

I suppose she thought leaving the pram next to the bench was her towel on a sunbed. It's not, so don't worry.

PriOn1 · 17/07/2023 06:20

She sounds delightful!

mnitg · 17/07/2023 06:22

If there were plenty of benches free why did you go to the one with a pram?

I'd not have said anything but would have thought it was odd.

BackupFail · 17/07/2023 06:23

I'd have been so tempted to say...

I don't see your name on it.

Brunilde · 17/07/2023 06:23

Yeah she was rude but obviously the pram meant someone was using it so why didn't you pick one of the empty ones? I can't stand it when people encroach on my space unnecessarily. If the other benches were full I'd understand but why pick the one someone was obviously going to sit on.

SnotRag81 · 17/07/2023 06:24

Why did you sit at the one with the pram if there were others free? Were you just trying to make a point?

SmirnoffIceIsNice · 17/07/2023 06:24

It's a bit akin to people thinking they own the spot directly outside their home to park their car. This woman did not own the bench and you had every right to sit there if it was empty.

That being said, if there were plenty of benches, I personally would have sat on one where there wasn't a pram next to it.

JustAnotherUsey · 17/07/2023 06:24

I don't get why you picked a bench where there was something left there. Why not go for a bench with nothing near it?!

WandaWonder · 17/07/2023 06:26

If there was heaps of other empty ones I would have gone for that but no you did nothing wrong either so no reason they needed to say thing

Oysterbabe · 17/07/2023 06:26

I wouldn't have chosen the one with the pram.

liveforsummer · 17/07/2023 06:28

I wouldn't have picked one with a pram next to it unless no other choice. For a start you don't know how many people belong with that pram so could have needed all the space

londonrach · 17/07/2023 06:29

I wouldn't have chosen one with the pram over empty benches and it's a bit strange you did. If no empty benches it's ok. Abit of both in this case.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/07/2023 06:30

When I'm on a bus and there are plenty of spare seats, it's weird when someone sits next to me. If it's crowded, it's not weird.

You were a bit weird.

Any reason you chose that one?

ANewAdventure · 17/07/2023 06:30

If there were lots of benches empty why did you sit on the one that someone was clearly coming back to?

Obviously she doesn’t own the bench. But it’s a bit like parking right next to someone in an empty car park. Fine, strictly speaking, but also somewhat inconsiderate.

Pinkflamingopants · 17/07/2023 06:31

I don’t think she was in the wrong at all! Very odd behaviour from you to sit at a bench with a pram next to it when loads of others were free

LoonyLois · 17/07/2023 06:32

I wouldn’t have gone to the one with the park either if there were loads of others free

CamCola · 17/07/2023 06:33

I personally wouldn’t of chosen one with a pram next to it and I think it’s a little odd you did but it’s not a big deal.

GigiAnnna · 17/07/2023 06:34

Technically you can sit where you like and you shouldn't reserve benches if you're not using them if other people want to use them. But seeing as there were other benches, you could have avoided that exchange with her by sitting at one of those.

Strugglingtodomybest · 17/07/2023 06:37

Bizarre behaviour from her OP. I think I'd have just replied with "what? No, I don't expect anything" and muttered "you weirdo" under my breath!

78Summer · 17/07/2023 06:46

Pubic park - public bench. Having said that when I am on an empty train and someone sits right next to me I usually move but I would not comment on it. She obviously had had a bad day.

WhamBamThankU · 17/07/2023 06:51

Strange you picked one with a pram next to it when there were others completely free.

FOJN · 17/07/2023 06:52

Plenty of benches free but you sat on the one with a pram next to it? Why?

Of course she doesn't own the bench so you are free to use it but it does seem like an odd decision.

Her follow up behaviour does seem OTT for what was a minor inconvenience.

Peacoffee · 17/07/2023 06:54

There were no coats on it but it’s hardly been warm enough for coats. There was a a pram so it’s weird to sit there when you acknowledge there were loads of actually free benches

Wicksytricksy · 17/07/2023 06:59

Pram is the same as using a coat or bag. If there were other empty benches you should have sat at an empty one as that one was already bagsied.

Different rules apply if it's busy obviously.

VictoriaVenkman · 17/07/2023 07:04

Why pick the bench with the pram next to it when there were others completely free?